1234gel

So, you wanna know somethin' about me? OK, first, I can give you some tips:
Tip 1: Call me "Gel" or "Jack".
Tip 2: If you're not my friend, add me! (But ask first)
Tip 3: ... Er... there is no tip 3...
Tip 4: I'm ALWAYS at "Zero Axis"... but I won't tell you, 'cause that is a secret!
Tip 5: Read the tips above this one!
Tip 6: I know a good joke! ... But I just can't remember it...
Tip 7: You better not hate any of my friends!
Tip 8: Don't eat candy from strangers...
Tip 9: If you don't like "Zero Axis" you need a LIFE!
Tip 10: Call 1111111145876764540454650160356356560211234563470257563456475645605034653454370563457345634750620345603475083450346574657234650423785025442057012057015640156174654856456874564765740014765048615765165OMGPHONE!!:o if you want to know some more...
Well, wasn't that good advice? (If the tips were annoying, call 1234500ANNOYINGPHONE>:( )
I'm also mayor in my own town: New Gel City, and "OMG" = "Oh My Gel" :P
* Panic Center *
Are you in danger, call 10001i
Are you dead call, 50019...
Are you just bored, view some porn.
Are you near to be killed, we don't care.
If you want to know what all this shit has to do with 1234gel, just keep readin'!
OK, back to me, from the Panic Center, I really hate some things... you wanna know them?
1. I really hate my lil bro! He's the most annoying kid ever! Sometimes (very often) he takes MY PC and log on his own account (khosa_vole, it's actually "khossa vole", a boss in a game, my lil bro is a retard!) and runs to his room, and locks the door! Once I said that I would take the axe and smash his door, and then kill him. He opened the door, gave me my PC... and ran to dad... UNFAIR! Sometimes he's begging me to have my PC in a few minutes for some work... I say: NO WAY!! Guess what he is doing then... he say it to dad! Little bastard! Yea, once I closed him inside a cupboard, we were alone home. He cried at the end... he got out! Next time I'm goin' to close him inside the fridge instead! He's evil, he's annoying, he's unfair, he's a bastard, he's kinda smart, he always say that he can do everythin', he's my lil bro, and I hate him!
2: I hate hackers! No one has ever hacked my PC, or my account (I hope), but I still hate them!
3: OK, I hate people who hates my food! (Going to tell you more about my food later!)
4: I hate... er... I hate... well, you know... I hate... OK, I hate that!
5: I hate it when people say: "You're gay!" What's their problem?! Asking people about that... why the hell?
6: I hate gum... Don't ask please!
7: I (still) hate my lil bro very much!
8: I hate mods that hates me... I hope no mods hates me...?
9: I hate people who hates my friends!
10: Call 31783924532785404398764916903486913984613407618934 9+9=much If you want to learn more math, and call 4785612935691274561874651874265174658762433871365187456148HATEPHONE!>:( If you want to know some more about hating...
I'm not done yet! More to read! You never learnt to read? Ah... I see... weird, IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU EARN 60 EXTRA POINTS! IDIOT BADGE, dude, you just completed the "You're a ugly little jerk who reads badge" and earned 60 extra points. View all badges. Congrats, the only thing is... I'm just kidding about those 60 points... :P
You want my phone number? Are you nuts? Do you really think that I'll ever give YOU my phone number?! Are you sure you want it? Fine, you'll never get it from me... wait... my lil bro... OH NO! Gtg, got to make my lil bro forget my number! Just a minute...
...
*Searching*
*Searching*
*Searching*
*Abomination found, lock on target*
*FIRE ARMS!*
*GOTCHA!*
*Uses a mind deleter... (There is not much inside this head...)*
*Mission completed...*
*Going (running) back to base quite relaxed (very fast!)*
OK, I'm back, easy mission! Ah, well... you'll never get my number!
You know, if you read some more, you'll get a secret from me! No kiddin'! A real secret! I promise!
OK, what do you want to know? About my food? Ah... yea, I make my famous food. Always loved, always hated. Someone like it, someone is sick a few days after... Anyway. I'm making soup, called Gel Soup, tasty! Never ask what it is made of... And I make great toast! Called Gel Toast! Made of cheese, ham, a horse leg and some hair gel... mmmmm, lovely! We also have my candy, called Gel Candy. That's for the kids actually... anyway. In the end we have some great ice cream! Called Gel Cream! Want some? And I can make you some pizza, called Dumb Pizza. Why "Dumb" Pizza? Well, 2 reasons:
1: You most be dumb to try eating it! Really, it tastes like shit!
2: I stole the idea from a friend of me... no comment!
I'm tired of writing... Are you tired of reading? GREAT! Then I can write some more!
The secret? Ah, nearly forgot that... well, want a secret? Don't tell anyone then! OK, here it is: Once, there was a man, name: Er... Paul. He tried somethin new: Jump from a skyscraper 99872537826357 meters high... He died... On his way down he said to himself: DAMN! I forgot my wings! God, help me! If you can hear me, help me! Bad for him, God was on the phone just then... Those gods! Poor bastard, Paul. He didn't make it! A few minutes later, he met God.
Paul: Why didn't you save me?
God: Well, 3 reasons:
1: I wanted some company! I'm bored!
2: Satan called me, he said that I was a little b****.
3: I saved you a week ago! From that shark!
Paul: Shark? Do you mean that gold fish?
God: It looked like a shark to me!
Paul: Sure...
No secret you say? Well, make your own then!
Once, a man was in NYC with his gf.
Gf: You know, it's a new drink in NYC.
Man: Oh? Well, I wanna try it!
Gf: OK, wait here for a minute.
The man waited, then his gf came back with a beer, some milk and melted ice cream.
Gf: Drink these three things at the same time.
The man did what his gf said. At first, he didn't do anything, then he started to scream, and swallowed it.
Gf: That is called "Blowjob revenge".
THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT PERSONS ON KONG.!
1. Sonny, before he died, the last thing he said was: "Damn! My porn will be gone if I die!"
2. Higashi, The Master works as a bussdriver.
3. All mods have their own chat room, where they get orders from their leader. Orders like "Go silence *******" (Nope, that's not supposed to be 1234gel...).
4. Johnny Rocketfingers is actually dead.
5. The stickman on the SCGMD games is in Iraq. Holiday.
6. The leader of the super monkeys on Bloons Tower Defence 3 is Meat Boy.
7. The stickman on Rage 3 is so outraged because his sister is a man.
8. The dolphin on Dolphin Olympics 2 is eaten by Tom Fulp.
9. The man on Last Stand got killed yesterday, and he's now a zombie...
10. Reemus is fat because he eats too much cookies and drinks too much beer.
11. The "rider" on Free Rider 2 is using drugs.
12. Popo, the Younger is a she! xD
13. Fancy Pants man got a gf: The lady from Shift 2.
14. Ambrosia Thorn is a porn star. (That's why she's almost naked)
15. The man from Portal: The Flash Version smokes.
16. The guy from Amorphus+ lost his sword last week, he's now using a knife that's 3,5 cm long.
17. Monster's Den is a lie!
18. The ninja person on Feudalism is 69 years old, that's why he suck so much.
19. The robot on Mech Commando was made by an elephant from SeppuKuties.
20. Ashi The Axe Battler is actually working as a teacher in Texas.
You got to see this movie, then you'll learn a very useful norwegian word: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkJf0md1kG8
Ah! *watches TV* This is life! *Lil bro Ben comes*
Ben: I wanna watch the TV, get your fat ass away!
Me: Oh, and I was hoping you died while you were sleeping.
Ben: Very funny! So get lost!
Me: You wanna fight?
Ben: Sure! *Hits me in my face*
Me: *Uses very bad bad words that I can't use on my own account*
Ben: I won!
Me: *Kicks the little jerk in his balls*
Ben: *Cries*
Mom: What's going on?
Me: *Starts to "cry"* Mom! Ben kicked my balls, now he's trying to cry so you believe that I kicked his balls!
Mom: BEN! *Takes Ben out of the room and inside his own room*
Ben: *Screams*
(This really happened)
THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THESE KNOWN PERSONS:
1. Santa's real name is Gordon Re-goat. Santa is watching porn every day, often when his wife is near him. No one knows why Santa gives us things when it's Christmas, but someone think he's doing it because he wants to look at all the women. He's flying deers is a lie! He's using a jeep, and sometimes his Hummer H2. And santa don't live on North Pole, no, but on Hawaii. He hates snow and ice. It's still a mystery why we think Santa lives on the North Pole though. But every normal person know that living on the North Pole is impossible! No one knows how old Santa is, someone say that he's over 2000 years old! But many people say that the first Santa is dead, and his son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son or so lives today.
2. Easter Bunny is not 100% bunny, but 50% chicken, and 50% bunny. Where do you think he get all those eggs from? Easter Bunny lives in a hole in the ground somewhere near Finland.
3. Tooth Fairy is actually a man! And he collects teeth because he gets money for them. His father likes collecting teeth for some reason. The "money" he's giving you is fake.
So next time you wonder if these three persons exists, I'll answer: Yeh!
If you wanna say somethin about my profile, or rate it, or say how I can write it better, why not say that in my shout on my profile? I would be happy if you did.
Ok, if you've waited for it, here is about my most talked about, best and coolest friends on Kong., if you're not one of them... BE one of them!
Ok, I don't know who I'm going to write about 1st... hm... Ok, let's start with my 1st friend on Kong. ever.
Rubybear: Yea, what can I say? When I 1st time came to Kong., Ruby was the 1st person that talked to me, and added me, thanks for that :) I still remember it, we both played Pillage The Village, the 1st game I got badges from on Kong. She's a nice person, and is never rude. She's every1s friend (She was last time I checked), and is very much busy with playing games. Ruby, this was about u. *Firecrackers*
Dungen2345: Dungen! My 2nd girl best friend (not gf, but gbf, lol) I call u just "Dun" sumtimes. U r always depressed and sad... and u told me y once. I still remember how we met: U said bad things about a girl who went out with the boy u liked. Then u started to send out 98798698698689689698 dogs after me or so, and I ran from them... I'm not sure y we r friends today, cuz u h8ed me 1st time we met xD. U r always chatting in ZA, I've actually never seen u not talking when u r on. Dungen, read this with pleasure as my friend! *Firecrackers*
Bokenbow: Haha, must be the person from Kong. I talk mostly with. Liam (His real name), u r a very good friend, and I feel that I can trust u whatever I say. U r always in trouble with mods, and get much silenced, but u r a very nice person, so I can't c y they silence u. U h8 mods, and I c y xD. U r my only friend on Kong. that I've the MSN to, and gave my own to. I like ur typing, and it's unique, and for me who's norwegian (For those of u who didn't know that from b4) it's cool to learn unique words. I hope we're friends for a long time. U h8 my brother, and I sumtimes think u h8 him more than I do. The cool thing is that we both have annoying lil bros, lol. Liam, u r no swat, u r buzzin m8! *Firecrackers*
Gamer097: Gamer is a good m8, and he's always hanging aroud with DaxterX2. Gamer is a very funny and nice person that I very often talk to. The 1st time we met, u said hi to me, and u added me b4 I added u. When I added u, we were good friends. U like funny things to laugh at, and says sumtimes funny things too. Lol, I would like to know ur real name once xD.
Gamer, maybe ur real name is Herbert, but u r my good friend non the less! *Farts* *Firecrackers* *Explotion*
Kikai74: Fred is ur name, and I call u Fred too. U r so funny! Always making me laugh. B4 ur username was "Hmmmmmmm", but u switched. I think it was me who said hi to u 1st time, and u were the one who added me, then I added u. I don't remember it very well, memory is very rusty. U like to say how popular u r, haha, and how many fans and friends u have. Fred, u r a funny and nice person, and a good friend! *Burps* *Get slapped by Fred* *Firecrackers*
Dragily: I need to write about u too, Drag. U r the one who made my home on Kong; Zero Axis. U r also one of my fav. mods, and u were the 1st mod I ever met. I remember 1st time we met, when I called another person things, and u wanted to silence me. I stoped, other person continued and got silenced, lol! U r a nice person, but u r never on these days, u r too busy. Drag, when u get back on, I'll say hi! *Don't dare to fart or burp, cuz I can get silenced* *Firecrackers* *Get silenced cuz of the firecrackers...*
elGrifo: elGrifo is my 2nd fav. mod. U r on Kong. much, and sumtimes in ZA. Many ppl in ZA knows who u r, and sum1 likes u, sum1 h8s u, it's like that with every mod in every room. The worst thing u know about is ppl who posts porn-links and ppl who r spamming. U can say lol to a joke, very few mods can that, and u r kind to other ppl. elGrifo, u r always in a good mood, mod. *Firecrackers* *Hits elGrifo* *Runs*
Hmmmmmmmmm: I just call u Matt, that's ur real name. U r a cool person, who says funny things, and u r a person that's easy to talk with. 1st time we met, ur account name was Gamergod, but u switched cuz u wanted to c who in ZA that thought u were Fred. Every time sum1 says "I h8 u, Gel" or sumthin to me in ZA, u always say things like "Be nice to Gel!". Matt, ppl who's not ur friend, need u as a friend at once! *Firewrackers*
This is my best friends, one day, when I'm not on Kong. anymore, I will remember all of u guyz.
"IT'S BETTER TO" JOKES:
It's better to be on Kong. than do sumthin wrong.
It's better to kill ur bro than make him ur foe.
It's better to eat cheese than scream "JEEZ!"
It's better to kiss ur mother than having sex with ur brother.
It's better to set a mark than fooling around in the dark.
It's better to fight ur sister, I'm serious mister.
It's better to be in hell than call urself "Gel"...
It's better to lose ur job than become a blob.
It's better to be thrashed than flashed.
It's better to lose ur love than play WoW!
It's better to search for porn than ever be born.
It's better to make more friends than... that's doesn't make any sense?
It's better to have a miss than read this.
It's better to sound like u never ate than comin 20 minutes l8.
It's better to walk than listen to me talk.
It's better to chat than wearing a hat.
It's better to be a monkey than a honkey.
MORE STORIES BOUT MY LIL BRO
It was winter, and that little dork was throwing snowballs at me. Very annoying, and it hurt... cuz he planted rock in the balls. I tried to avoid the balls, cuz I was talkin to my friend. Then my bro hit my friend in his face... maybe the last thing u'll ever do. My friend took my bro, and threw him into a lake... I guess it was cold... The day after he tried again... throwing at me, but when I avoided one of his balls, it hit a girl at the road behind me, the gir my bro likes... epic fail! The girl still can't believe him when he says he tried to hit me, not her.. she h8s him!
In the summer time my bro was bored, I wasn't even home, my big bro Peter told me this. My lil bro was foolin around when he found sum bricks... he tried to spin around and throw bricks as far as he cud... very clever... he hit two windows... well, it was not my money that was gone that day...
DID U KNOW?
Did u know that u cud connect every word, every single word with the word "Bar"?
Examples:
Bar Dude
Bar Frog
Bar Bar
Bar shave
Bar Death
Bar Consult
Bar Catapult
Bar honkey
Bar Troll
Bar Chat
Em Bar State Building
Bar of Freedom
Big Bar
Osama Bar Laden
Santa Clau Bar
Easter Bar Bunny
Bar Car
Bar Song
(In a sentence, "Bar" wud be like this: )
"I'm Bar walkin in Bar America, and I Bar wud like to fucBAR (Bar can also be censoring) know where BARrack OBARma Bar lives!"
U can say this to ur mom next time she commands u to tidy ur room:
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!! >:O"
Then she wud back off, the word "bar" is powerful!
SERIOUS INFORMATION!!
Ok, here is actually some serious informatin bout me and my life on Kong. :P Bout time, huh?
Ok, I remember my first day, July the 6th 2008 was a fine day in my summer holidays. I was sooo bored, u can't imagine! I found no good games, till I found a game on a norwegian gamin site called "Pillage the Village". I decided to try this game, and it was a link to... (Dun dun DUN!!) Kongregate!! :O
I still don't remember the room I was placed in that day, but I remember a person called WitchCandy from that room... I was in that room all day, didn't know bout mods, badges, cards, notin.
Then, the next day, I was goin to log on again. This time, Kong. placed me somwhere else by an accident :O I was placed in Zero Axis who became my kong. home. I started to earn badges, and my first badge was the Easy badge from Pillage the Village. I was not alone that day, I got a friend, my first Kongregate friend that day. Ruby Bear was also playin Pillage the Village that day, and we became friends. Been friends since. The first day I learnt bout mods, I don't remember the date, but I met Dragily, room owner of Zero Axis. Me and another person was fightin, and Drag tried to stop us. He said he wud silence us if we didn't stop, I stopped.... the other person continued and got silenced! Lol...
I got more to tell of couse, I've seen and done many funny things in one year. Another funny story is how I met Jess, acc. name is Jessness or Dungen2345. That time, only Dungen. Yeh, that day u were soo angry, cuz one of ur bgm in real life stole the boy u liked, and u got pissed. U were angry on every1 that talked to u too, and I was no exception. Lol, u said u wud release 120947235423154405937451 dogs at me, and u "did" too. I don't exactly know how we became friends... but we did that day, or at least the next. Lol.
My last story that's worth tellin bout is how I met Liam, Bokenbow. He was talkin bout no1 liked him, and asked me to be friends. I said yes, as I always do when ppl asks, and then another friendship started. I got his msn, and he got mine, and today, he's the only person from Kong. I talk to on msn, cept one norwegian one. This is the things from Kong. I remember the most, I hope it was worth readin.
ABOUT A COW...
Once there was a cow,
and she died somehow.
And how I will now say,
then u got sumthin to read, yay!
There was this cow, eatin grass,
then a BOMB flew out of it's ass!
The cow screamed very loud,
makin no farmer very proud...
A donkey heard her scream,
but fell in sleep and had a dream.
A horse saw the bomb,
then he ran away lickin the farmer's thumb.
A pig tried to help her,
but he wasn't near.
No1 cud help the poor cow,
What wud she do now?
The bomb was layin still,
It's won't exploud, or maybe it will?
Then the bomb explouded, and killed all,
and all the farm was ready to fall.
Even the painting flew off the wall!
The only thing that was left from the bomb,
was the farmer's left-hand thumb...
The end.
TYPICAL ME...
Hey, dead chat? Notin to say? I am on? Well, here r sum typical me things, what I use to say when it's dead chat or I got notin to say...:
1. *Tries to hug (person name), falls, hits rock*
2. *Walks to emo tree*
3. *Sits alone in emo tree*
4. *Hugs tree* (It's recommended to hug trees, they r so good to hug, and u always feel better. Just watch it so u're not gettin sumthin in ur eye while huggin it...)
5. (Nonsense, or sumthin poppin into my head)
6. Kong-Bot: Your mother can not be reached. Try again later.
7. Kongergate Notice: To pervent sperming, we've checked how fast u can masturbait. Please try again. (From the well known message u get from spamming... only totally different :P)
8. (What I say when I enter room sumtimes) Kongregate Notice: Warning! Gel virus detected! Do not open porn sites!
9. (I call ppl nicknames, like I call mods "Moddy", I call Iamsam2 "Sammy", I call Hmmmmmm "Matty" etc. :P)
10. I'm never sayin normal "Hey" or "Bye", no, I say "Heyzz" and "Byez" :P
UM... A THING! IT'S COOL THOUGH!
Deep within the bowels of Zero Axis, alone and miserable, lurks a monster so terrifying, so hideous, that no one dares to speak its name.
Known only as 1234gel, his horrible howls can be heard rumbling throughout the walls of the chat room, haunting those who dwell close enough to hear them.
In the darkest corners of Zero Axis lurks an evil so terrible that its very name strikes fear into the hearts of even the bravest of chatters. Its name is never spoken, only whispered, "1234gel".

When his coffin creaks, the land will shudder, the sky will darken, the earth will moan. It is then that you will know true evil is near...
A chatter will certainly need to be well prepared in order to face this evil.
Some say this commandeer of a chatter comes from a long line of maniacs while others simply think his attire is the result of certain insanity.
Meeting this monster may give u nightmares for the rest of ur life...
RATIN OF FAVORITE BAND!
Disturbed is my all time favorite band, with soda, sum chips and Disturbed to my ear, I finallt can relax. Here r the songs I love, hate etc., and here's the "levels" u might say, and what they mean. Sucks - This song I wuden't even show to my dog, it's completly "unlistenable", a song like this, I only hear ONE time till I find out it's bad. Sucks a little - Means the song is a little bad, my ears R bleedin, and I won't listen to this song. Naah - This song cud have been better, it's not too good, and I won't recommend it to any1. Ok, I guess - Well, here we start to go up a little, this song is good in the rite settin, the rite moment. Ok enuf - This song I can listen to, if I haven't heard it in a while. Good - This song is good! Not the best I've heard, but good enuf I can get addicted. Very good - Wow, this is good, this song I will without doubt get addicted to. Excellent - Reely good, one of the best songs prob. I've heard of this band... or is it? Awesum - WOW! Omg, this song is completely awesum, one of the best songs of the band, without ANY doubt, there must be much to beat this song! Completly unforgetable - This is the song I'll never forget, the song I never will be fed up with, the song I listen to bout everytime I listen to this band, a perfect song! And here r the songs WITH ratins! Enjoy, and whisper or shout me uf u agree!
From the album "Believe"| Intoxication, Ok I guess.
Liberate, Very good.
Awaken, Good.
Remember, good.
Prayer, Ok, I guess.
From the album "Indestructible" (My favorite album) | Indestructible, Completly unforgetable
Inside the fire, Very Good.
Deciever, Very Good.
The Night, Very Good.
The Curse, Awesum.
Torn, Awesum.
Divide, Awesum.
Facade, Awesum.
Criminal, Completly unforgetable.
Enough, Good.
Haunted, Awesum.
From the album "The Sickness" | Voices, Awesum.
The Game, Awesum.
Stupify, Awesum.
Down With The Sickness, Awesum.
Fear, Awesum.
Conflict, Awesum.
Droppin Plates, Very good.
Meaning of life, Awesum.
From the album "Ten Thousand Fists" | Blood in my eyes, Very Good.
Ten thousand fists, completly unforgetable.
Guarded, Awesum.
Deify, Good.
I'm Alive, Awesum.
Sons of Plunder, Awesum.
Stricken (My first Disturbed song), Awesum.
Pain Redefined, Awesum.
Hell, Excellent
Monster, Awesum.
From the album "Transformers Soundtrack" | This Moment, Awesum.
From the album "Clay People" | Car bomb (Am I human?), Excellent.
Agreed any of this? Did not? Let me know! Thanks.
THINGS I NEED TO DO BEFORE I DIE/GET KILLED/COMMITS SUICIDE/REALIZES I'M A JERK:
1. Find out my gender
2. Make a snowman pissed
3. Fight the pissed snowman
4. Get official reward/award for the longerst profile on all Kongregate
5. Find and listen to all Distrubed songs
6. Kiss a queen
7. Kiss another queen
8. Get eaten by a shark and survive
9. Make this profile even longer
10. Lift 300000 kg while eatin nudles
11. Lift nudles while eatin 300000 kg (sumthin)
12. Kick the president's butt
13. Become King Kong. (Not the monkey, but the king of Kong.)
14. Play banjo
15. Hack a mod's account and silence sum1 for notin
16. Um... er... yeh...
17. Swim across the sea, then back again
18. Give sum1 a funny name, then point and laugh at them
19. Make ur mother green ship left harbour can't perform the blue duck become hell... wtf?!
20. Stop makin examples...

OK, enjoy Kongregate, and win new badges and cards! Thanks for readin' this shit! >:P