I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10.
Ever since I was a child I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users.
People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful.
I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store, needless bloatware, and a keylogger on my system.
From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to needlessly force updates at the worst of times.
If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS administrative privileges.
Thank you for being so understanding.
 "Aquaexnar")