DKW001's Comments

Game Comments
Play Bowmaster Prelude Bowmaster Prelude May. 04, 2013
Lessee...auto-aim, good. Variety of powerups, good (although maybe *too* many choices). Takes too long for enemy units to show up, bad. No way to speed up waves, bad. Can hit friendly units and they're fragile as glass, very bad. Boss with NO indication of how to defeat and kills you in ONE hit... nice knowin' ya! 1/5
Play Earn to Die Earn to Die Apr. 28, 2013
Well... this game does SOME things right, and it's nowhere near the same luck-and-chance cesspool as Into Space and its ilk, and it didn't get INCREDIBLY REPETITIVE, it's just... well...I had hoped it'd be more satisfying. See, the point of a powerup game is that when you get the big powerups, you have an absolute *romp* with them. Here, although I could see the improvements, they never were as impressive as they should have been. The later parts of the stage were still too much of a slog with the big truck, and even with everything maxed out I *barely* made it to the end. Still, I *did* like seeing the vehicles bounce around, and they were controllable enough that the flips never got irritating (only had to suffer one BS flip). A game that had the potential to be a load of fun and settled for half a load. 3/5
Play Jim Loves Mary Jim Loves Mary Apr. 06, 2013
This was...cute. Really easy, of course; the only level I found even marginally frustrating was 19. If I were to have any complaint, it would be that the dual mechanic has been done better (One And One Story, and to a lesser extent You Have Only One Life). Still, as a beginner game, this is perfectly fine. A decent time-waster, which is not bad at all nowadays. (Never heard of Meowbeast before. One to keep an eye on, perhaps?) 3/5
Play Super Duck Punch! Super Duck Punch! Mar. 27, 2013
This is a perfect example of a "quick fix" game. Get a good laugh at the weird enemies, get some more laughs as they get thrown together in silly combinations, then once you've conquered everything but the 10 hydras and survival... leave it at that. Because once you make the decision to go for it, the game goes straight from "goofy and irreverent" to "yet another tedious grindfest". Keep it short and sweet, never take it too seriously, don't waste time trying to work out strategies, and you can have fun with this with no regrets. 4/5
Play Fear Less! Fear Less! Mar. 26, 2013
This one, well... I'm not sure, really. It's not that it's ludicrously outrageously frustrating, it's... more frustrating than you'd expect a game about a little girl to be. Or rather, more frustrating than it *should* be. I found it unpleasantly easy to screw up and even get into "death spirals". I had to really work just to get the "recover from near death" medal, much less the distance ones. and like most fixed-speeders it's aggravating unavoidably taking damage landing from a jump. I actually came pretty close to giving up a couple times. Still... I got to the end, and... yes, it was satisfying. And I guess I shouldn't have been so quick to almost give up. There, happy now? :-) 3/5
Play Turnament Turnament Mar. 23, 2013
I... I wanted to like this. Really I did. And it has a nice premise, using planning and precision to defeat the enemies and evade the traps. It seemed like just the kind of low-paced, thought-intensive game I usually love. And for the first few levels, it's just like that. And then it had to have outrageously complicated fire traps. And then outrageously complicated teleporter puzzles. And then both in succession. And *then*, of course, the *absolutely obligatory* ramp-up-to-infinity ultra-impossible area (the big room with the fireball wizards) so instead of having the satisfaction of completing a challenging game, all I get is a truckload of aggravation and the feeling that I've wasted a vast chunk of my time. Look at Continuuity for a downtempo slug-it-out game done right. Ugh. Yet another bitter disappointment. 2/5
Play Give Up Give Up Mar. 21, 2013
Okay, fine. I give up. [hits the back button on the brower] You think I have to play your stupid head games? Hmm? You think I'm beholden to this false dichotomy crap (look it up!)? I've walked away from dozens of stupid, impossible BS games and I'll walk away from dozens more before I'm through, all without the slightest regret. Oh, oh, what, don't believe me? Think there's no way DKW001 can keep this up, you'll have him screaming and crying and thrashing on the floor yet? Go ahead! Make another BS game like this! Make a hundred! Knock yourself out! 1/5
Play LRU: Bounty Hunter LRU: Bounty Hunter Mar. 10, 2013
This looks okay. Definite improvement over the "beta" version. The only problems I could see are the repetitiveness of the tasks and the imbalance in the skills (Hint: Get health recovery! And...never mind what else, just make sure you have health recovery!). The randomness of the items was a tiny bit annoying, but I never felt grossly underequipped. It's an easy game; I almost never felt that Ziva was in any danger of dying. There are very few actual tactics, and by the time she faces the really tough foes, she'll be more than equipped to obliterate them. Still, better too easy than too hard (I'm certainly not complaining). You have the *makings* of a very good game here; just hoping the next one goes up and not down. Oh, and agree on the scrolling text and not being able to drop down. 3/5
Play Code Fred: Survival Mode Code Fred: Survival Mode Mar. 08, 2013
Heh. Not often that I call a game with a fair amount of blood and mucus "cute", but this one most definitely qualifies. Nice little primer into how the human body's systems work, and I gotta admit, it's pretty remarkable seeing the whole thing. The oxygen-to-the-legs and the protein breakdown were a wee bit annoying...I don't like having to watch different parts of the screen at once...but that's a minor gripe. In all, a really nice casual game. Yes, it's possible for a casual game to be about a man desperately trying to stay alive. Deal with it. 4/5
Play Mechanical Commando Mechanical Commando Mar. 07, 2013
This game is just a laundry list of bad ideas. Weak weaponry, enemy shots having *unlimited* range, never any idea of where to go, hidden enemies everywhere, super-easy to take damage, difficult to aim since you're constantly moving and firing (Decision did this *much* better), no real use for the mortar, and, oh yeah, having to backtrack *all the way* (with no map) is no fun at all. Is this really the same group that made Frantic Frigates? What the hell happened?? 1/5
Play Decision 2 Decision 2 Mar. 07, 2013
This most definitely qualifies as the most hours I've cheerfully squandered on a Kongregate game I've given a 3/5 to. (First off, play the first Decision if you haven't already; it'll be a *big* help.) As before, there are tons of enemies to blast to chunks, and it's very satisfying to see the city come together. The problem? There's just *so* much to keep track of, and it's *so* easy to find yourself in over your head, it'll take you at least a couple games just to work out a gameplan. I've suffered *lots* of BS deaths, including a North tower upgrade which threw in a freakin' *gun boss* for absolutely no damn reason. Tower defenses are frustrating and next to useless; it's actually better to let 'em invade and clean up afterwards. Still weirdly addictive, but be warned, whether you're going to 100% completion, a record, or just the Best of 2012 badge, you have your work cut out for you.
Play Band Of Heroes Band Of Heroes Mar. 03, 2013
- I didn't like that were certain levels where I absolutely needed someone (in addition to Selena). Against Snake Eater, for example, you MUST have Glenn's speed or he'll simply smother you to death. - Weapon power-ups are pointless, and having them pop out randomly is just stupid. Have one power level and make it upgradable. I'm tired of success hinging on a damn lottery. Again, these are minor things, and this isn't a *bad* game by any means, but it could've been a lot more. (P.S.: Neurotic spaz Glenn is not an improvement over pervert Glenn. :-) ) 3/5
Play Band Of Heroes Band Of Heroes Mar. 03, 2013
This is one of those "other than that" games, which had the potential to be great and unfortunately got saddled with lots of annoying little flaws. Okay, first the good stuff. Charming, colorful, *very* good animation, nice variety of increasingly potent upgrades, and every level is beatable. Now the negatives: - It really needs to be longer, especially with levels going up to 15. Grinding is never fun. - It's super-easy to take a *lot* of damage, meaning that unless you're an absolute ace, you NEED Selena for nearly the entire game, really cutting down on your party options. - Why always three members, no more, no less? Completely pointless and becomes a huge burden near the end. I *hated* having to choose between Glenn's speed, Erica's durability and full-screen Super Move, and Ray's firepower. Allow any number so I can grind or kick butt as required. - The spread formation means that there's no avoiding a lot of hits, especially against wizards and their ilk. [cotd.]
Play Ode To Pixel Days Ode To Pixel Days Mar. 03, 2013
Um...what? Seriously, I *tried* to get this, but it's pretty muddled (other than the obvious stuff...don't judge by appearances, know when to let go, there's plenty of fish in the sea, etc.). Heck, if the biggest problem *I* faced in high school was an unrequited crush, I would've been thrilled. As it is, we're left with a mediocre platformer with a preachy message...or rather, it *would* be preachy if it were more coherent. It'd be better if Hans' thought processes played out in the platform elements, like The Company of Myself did. As it is, the message (such as it was) didn't really sink in for me...I thought, "Wow, weird trip. At least nobody died." Meh. 2/5
Developer response from taloketo

the game is about the mindset a boy can get in when dealing with puberty. not every boy lives stuff like this but even if the only problem Hans is having was a crush, this game is not about calling for sympathy, I was actually trying to explore the mindset I had when I was little. Thanks for playing!
Play Decision Decision Mar. 02, 2013
55 days, 3 worse than the record, currently tied for 20th all-time...pretty damn good by my usual standards! :-D. The absolute minimum required besides clean-ups is 50. I'm amazed at anyone who can do this in 52 days; you gotta move like the wind and make some pretty big sacrifices. I guess if I could do without the pineapple and bazooka, I could make a run at it, but I already know exactly what the result of that would be: "Failed!" So anyway, always watching your back and building up towers pronto definitely is the way to go. 4/5...yeah, still sounds right.
Play The Fancy Pants Adventures The Fancy Pants Adventures Feb. 23, 2013
Another game where you're constantly sliding all over the place. Do not see why so many video game programmers are so enamored with this. Oh well, at least it tries to be a bit funny with it. Eh, quest item was easy enough. Why the heck else do you think I'd be here? 2/5
Play 400 Years 400 Years Feb. 18, 2013
Hmm. Not really sure how to judge this. It's short, of course (400-year time limit notwithstanding), it's not at all hard to figure out any of the tasks (there are, what, three?), and it's kinda nice to see the effects of the passage of time, as minor as they may be. Other than that...there's just not a whole lot here, and the message doesn't really resonate. (Sometimes sacrifices must be made...hey, no argument from me.) Reminds me of Pheus and Mor. So...yeah. 3/5
Play Paladog Paladog Feb. 17, 2013
Skill increases completely random: annoying, but not a gamebreaker. Units always run straight ahead, no chance of sound strategy: Annoying, but managable. Not a gamebreaker. Having to grind a LOT to survive some *very* early stages: No fun...irritatting, even...but not a gamebreaker. Ghosts that deliver and take damage like a tank and can just GO RIGHT THROUGH your heavy hitters and directly attack vulnerable units and Paladog (which I refer to as Cursed Treasure Ninja Syndrome): *Gamebreaker.* Never mind that stage 2 of Ice Glen...not even the damn *halfway point*...is full of these monstrosities and is just about unbeatable. On Easy. Note to programmer: Making the protagonists cuddly anthromorphs will not hide the fact the game is constantly tearing our throats out. 1/5
Play noitcelfeR noitcelfeR Feb. 11, 2013
Eh...I've played much worse. (Some of it on this site, unfortunately.) Nice to see a game with an interesting concept that doesn't get completely swallowed up in soul-crushing difficulty. Can get confusing, but thankfully the level of gameplay is low-key enough that it won't fray every one of your nerves. Controls are a bit loose, but at least you're not constantly slipping and sliding all over the place. A few places get a bit frustrating, but at least they take three to six tries, not hundreds. With a little determination anyone can get to the end, and sims5000 was even classy enough to put all the painful levels into one easily-dismissable block. Damning with faint praise? Eh, in the spirit of this game, I prefer to think it's the other way around. :-) 3/5
Play Decision Decision Feb. 09, 2013
It's not often I use the term "weirdly addictive", but it fits perfectly for this game. It's been a *long* time since I've happily squandered so many hours managing money, working out plans of attack, figuring out how much firepower I need, and, oh yeah, taking a bazooka to endless hordes of undead. It's great. My only two complaints are 1. you gotta be *very* careful with your choices, otherwise you can easily find yourself in way over your head (hint: never mind blitzing to the southeast, get those defenses set up!) and 2. the game can get super-cheap about killing you, especially if you don't upgrade your weapons fast enough. Personal best so far is 57 days...someday I'm going to try to improve it! 4/5