DKW001's Comments

Game Comments
Play Nether Runner Nether Runner Jul. 19, 2014
Reminiscent of Knightmare Tower and Frantic Frigates, so it's no surprise that I enjoyed this one a lot. Like those two, it's satisfying to gradually become stronger and get ever so slightly closer to the final goal each time. Like all the good shooters, it starts out very challenging but you can make it a lot easier depending on which items you buy. Requiring fuel to fly was a pointless complication, and needed a *little* more variety in the enemies, otherwise this is just about perfect. Slight warning: Last two achievements pretty much impossible without Reimu Hakurei-level reactions. 4/5
Play Divide Divide Jul. 13, 2014
Definite thumbs-up for this one. A game needn't be an incredibly long haul or crushingly difficult to be worth of Kongregate; sometimes a fun concept and levels that encourage you to keep going are enough. I've always been a fan of games where you have to try different things until you hit on the winning formula, and this didn't disappoint. If there were more levels and a couple more features, this would get top marks, easily. As it is...4/5. And no, I didn't cut the "END" to bits; I'm not *that* bored!
Play Super Villainy Super Villainy Jul. 13, 2014
A fun 'n quick 360 shooter; difficulty-wise, I put it a cut above beginner level. The thing I liked about it is that it simply does it right: powerups make a difference, levels progress smoothly from gentle to busy, and there's good variety in the enemies. My only (small) grumbles are the whiteout after winning is really pointless and the only decent minion is the life restorer. Otherwise, you want to take out your frustrations blowing up bad guys for half an hour, here's you go. Not on the level of Frantic Frigates (still the gold standard), but still a game I'm glad I found. 4/5
Play Coffee Clicker Coffee Clicker Jul. 12, 2014
You know what, I almost never say this, but I'll say it right here, and I don't give a damn how much I get blasted. *Worst Kongregate game ever.* Worse than Give Up, worse than You Find Yourself In a Room, worse than You Only Have One Life, worse, heck, a *lot* worse than You Have To Burn The Rope. A nasty, dirty, disgusting little exercise from beginning to end. Reading HaroldKrell's comments, he really comes across as a smug, smarmy jerk who doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything. It's downright disturbing. Hope you're enjoying your stay here, pal, because you have ZERO chance of making a dime in video game design with an attitude like that. 1/5, and this is the ONE time I'd like to go lower.
Developer response from HaroldKrell

Wow. This comment really cuts to the bone. Seriously, I've been losing sleep because of this ordeal. I was even at the psychiatrist's office the other day, and I told him, "Am I a bad person?" and he told me, "Well, do you make video games that trick people on the internet?" And I said yes, and he said, "Well, then you're probably a bad person." It was a complete epiphany for me. Only recently have I realized that the people playing my game are actual people; I mean real people with hopes and aspirations, and I was ridiculing them by not letting them win a game where they had to click on a button a lot of times. I'm really grieving about this. I mean, to come to the realization that I am a LITERAL MONSTER because I fooled people on the internet... so many people... Those people are the real victims here.

Play Coffee Clicker Coffee Clicker Jul. 12, 2014
Back to that bone. Y'know, I thought we were past mindless pitfalls in video games. I see no reason why a developer would want to royally screw the player for absolutely no reason. (Yeah, yeah, he had an excuse, every sociopath does.) What is the *point*? We *know* these games are a colossal waste of time, you don't have to drive the point home with a 5,000-ton hammer. If I had to guess (from the "congraduations" end screen, which I didn't mind, BTW), it would be that HaroldKrell is hopelessly enamored by 8-bit videogame tropes, forgetting that there's a REASON they never made it out of the 8-bit era. You *have* to know when something's a bad idea, *have* to know when something's going to come across incredibly badly no matter what feeble rationalizations you bring up, *have* to know WHEN TO FREAKING SAY NO.
Play Coffee Clicker Coffee Clicker Jul. 12, 2014
All right. No screwing around, no BS. Here's all you need to know about this game. First, never, NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER click on the "Bone" upgrade. Ever. What this does is erase all your progress and make it impossible to get any of it back. This shows up late, so you're losing a *lot* of progress if you pick it up. I'm astounded that players aren't screaming to the high heavens over this. AVOID THE BONE. It is *death*. I have no desire whatsoever to get cute about this. Second, the way to make progress is to spin the wheel, and if it's about to land on black, get out (preferably by closing the tab because it's the fastest). Forget about those stupid plants, and buy upgrades only if you have cash to spare. I know it's dumb luck, but it's the only good option, and by closing at least you protect yourself. Beware that it lands on black FAR more than 25% of the time, and you'll get a lot more yellows than blues or greens (especially blatant with the later cups). Just keep at it.
Play Learn to Fly 2 Learn to Fly 2 Jul. 12, 2014
I'm not up for an elaborate analysis, so I'll just say that this one was just plain... unsatisfying. Too much effort to get up to speed, and once you're up to speed, it's impossible to *control* that supersonic bird. I pity anyone who's determined to get all the challenges and medals... it's going to take an astounding amount of work, let me tell you. Beating the main objective isn't too hard if that's all you're going for (actually easier than in the first game), but unless you're truly diehard you'll probably do that at some point just to get it over with. This is a really nice concept and I'd *love* to see the really good Learn To Fly game. This isn't it. 2/5
Play Rat Clicker Rat Clicker Jul. 05, 2014
I'm sorry, but this is simply a bad game. Having to walk a razor's edge with health to avoid losing gold, being forced to do nothing for long stretches, all drops being pure dumb luck (I can't even be bothered to get worked up anymore, I'm just so weary), minions being next to useless, and enemies *getting stronger*. The idea behind an idle game is that even if you're wasting your time, it's no sweat. I almost never say this, but - *failure*. 1/5
Play Decision:Medieval Decision:Medieval Jun. 28, 2014
You will need certain tools at certain points, but it's not hard to figure out when (Hint: Well-upgraded dagger/sword and poison for when there are lots of big guys!). Repeat game is for the truly hardcore only; "Hard+" isn't an understatement. In all, not bad, reasonably satisfying, didn't feel like a waste of time (no mean feat considering how much of it I put into this), but it still left me wanting *more*. A devastating weapon, a means of preventing invasions, a way to take mines without bringing in swarms of foes, *something*, at some point, that would really allow me to have a total romp. Final verdict: It was fun to go Medieval, but I have no desire to get stuck in the past. 3/5
Play Decision:Medieval Decision:Medieval Jun. 28, 2014
Plenty of things to kill, plenty satisfying wiping out a mob, and unlike the other Decision games it's actually pretty easy to stay alive. I've completed two no-death runs...very satisfying! There's a lot to discover, and a lot of toys to try out, and most of the fun is working out various combinations and finding out what the right one is (and it *will* take a while, trust me). Need to space out missions carefully, as you can easily find yourself overrun or with tons of supplies and nothing to spend them on. Balance between guards, towers, and mines really encourages intelligent progression and prioritizing, a big plus. Gets a bit tedious near the end, particularly mine assignments when you're long past the need for supplies. [cotd. - you were warned!]
Play Decision:Medieval Decision:Medieval Jun. 28, 2014
Probably the toughest Kongregate game ever for me to judge. Tons of upside, tons of downside. I'm going to go well into TL/DR territory here and I offer no apologies whatsoever. Okay? Okay. Here goes: Majority of upgrades not very useful, but that's not a big deal, because the whole point is ripping them to shreds with your knife or sword, smashing them to a pulp with the hammer, or blasting them to chunks with your crossbow. Seriously, those weapons are so much fun that you hardly need waste cash on much else. Frustrating that you have to bring the master to the tavern *last* to ensure that the game records it. One of the most frustrating things in a game is when something just plain *doesn't work*, and this was a terrible oversight. [cotd.]
Play Not To Scale Not To Scale Jun. 28, 2014
Okay, I am now officially done with screwy-perspective games forever and ever. (Just for the record, I didn't find Fractured all that great either.) And YES, it IS possible for a game to require a lot of effort and still be rewarding, I'm AWARE of that. But it *cannot* be just endless wild guessing, and certainly not for the HOURS AND HOURS OF NERVE-SHREDDING AGGRAVATION it'll take to get through this. If you want a long-haul game done right, play Continuity or Decision. No, this is not worth it. No, it's not rewarding. I'm sick of making excuses. 1/5
Play Cursed Treasure 2 Cursed Treasure 2 May. 10, 2014
Wait...let me see if I have this right. The *whole point* of Cursed Treasure is to have a single overwhelmingly game-breaking enemy for the *sole purpose* of the developer's sadistic, twisted delight? And since this is a sequel, the way to go was to introduce an *even more* hideously broken enemy? I've panned games lots of times, but this is one of the few times I've been disgusted with a game's very existence. Not cool, guys. 1/5
Play Coinbox Hero Coinbox Hero May. 10, 2014
This reminds me of Learn To Fly, of all things: a relentless slog that can really test your patience, and you can never be sure just what you should spend your money on. (In particular, I really dislike upgrade systems that encourage big skips, killing the natural progression and forcing me to stick with inferior hardware for a long time). I admit it was cathartic seeing tons of metal pour out of that little box, but it got old after a while. The biggest problem is that it simply takes too long; a breezy non sequitur game shouldn't eat up upwards of 25 minutes. Good fun for the first 5 minutes for so, but yeah, this is *way* too much work for an Easy badge. 3/5
Play Mighty Knight Mighty Knight May. 04, 2014
This had the potential to be a really fun oldschool slaughterfest. Unfortunately, upgrades have limited effect and cost way too much, AI allies have bad judgment and die too easily, runes eat up a lot of cash, and of course the levels take them into consideration so you HAVE to burn up a lot of cash just to advance. Simply put, the reward to effort ratio is just way, WAY too low. Also, do not like the all-or-nothing aspect to level payouts, meaning that you absolutely HAVE to grind managable levels to a ridiculous extent to amount to anything. Got to level 8 and decided enough was enough. Not an enjoyable game. 2/5
Play Fishy Waters Fishy Waters May. 03, 2014
Charming little game. Not much to it, really, just follow the directions and keep at it. Not for everyone, of course, but I used to play games like these all the time (particularly the landmark Bemani games) and still do whenever I can (Project Diva). Progresses at a nice pace, never felt too tedious or grindy, and an appropriately light, nonserious tone throughout. The artwork...well, it takes all kinds at Kongregate. Thumbs-up for me! 4/5
Play Soviet Rocket Giraffe Go Go Go! Soviet Rocket Giraffe Go Go Go! Apr. 19, 2014
Sheesh, *another* one of these games where I'm constantly out of control and missing landing points, even worse in this case because one misstep and it's over? (No, not going for the badge. I know better by now.) I mean, at least *Cannabalt*...mmm, actually, come to think of it, I never liked Cannabalt all that much either. Look, I like a quickie game as much as the next guy, but c'mon...five minutes. That's not too much to ask. 2/5
Play Hippolyta Hippolyta Apr. 19, 2014
Remember Population Tire? Y'know, the game that has this whole big loaded military backstory and then it's about bouncing an object in the air and the backstory wasn't even necessary? Yeah, that's what this reminded me of. That and an extremely poor man's Dance Dance Revolution. Y'know, I actually *liked* DDR for a long time. 1/5
Play Ditto Ditto Apr. 12, 2014
Really, really, REEEEALLY hate how things like "atmosphere" have become just another excuse to foist yet another torturous, back-breaking game on an unsuspecting public. This is like a spiritual successor to Jumping Line or Give Up: Breeze early, start to struggle, start to really struggle, and finally reach a point where you die over and over and OVER, 10, 50, 100, 900 times (made possible, of course, due to sending you back to the beginning every time you die, which has no purpose OTHER than making the game nightmarishly hard). I *never* thought I'd say this, but noitcelfeR did this concept vastly better. 1/5
Play Heir Heir Apr. 12, 2014
First off, I don't have a problem with the twist ending. I'm well used to that convention, and it's never affected my enjoyment of a game in the slightest. What I *do* have a problem with is being horribly, horribly thrown due to one annoying danger or pitfall, especially easy when your scope of vision is (deliberately) so limited. A better solution would be to automatically throw you back to the checkpoint anytime you plummet somewhere you shouldn't. It's also a very limited game, especially with only three levels. On the plus side, the concept is very good (I saw a pixel game like this a long time ago and *really* enjoyed it), the animations are impressive, and I really liked seeing the beast in all its glory after reaching the end. I appreciated the chance to experience your work, I look forward to seeing what better things you can come up with in the future. 3/5