Oh god, why…
“Do I think this is a Joke? Ofcourse its a joke, all life is nothing but one long-ass joke. The real purpose in life is to Make your joke worth listening.”
“Why, you cock munching Ass-Monkey!”
-The best insult Delano ever used. Ever
My inspiration Also where I get a few quotes. Like the Fuck Mothering Vampire.
Name: Delano Winchester
Race: Vampire by demonic means.
Title: Fuck Mothering Vampire (He killed a lot of people to get that title.)
Job: Supernatural hunter, Mercenary, and professional Badass.
Family: All dead. Doesn’t speak fondly of ’em.
Age: Doesn’t tell. He appears to be somewhere between 25-32.
Abilities: Immortality. Well, not really immortality. It’s hard to kill him, but the REAL Bitch is in Keeping him dead. He seems to have some sort of blood manipulation ability or maybe some curse. His soul split into seven Items (Like Horcruxes, but stronger, not indestructible, and as he loses them, He becomes stronger as he gets more of his soul back.), A cross, a gun, a Book, A briefcase, a key, and a sword are all that’s left. He can Flash step (Moving so fast it appears as if he teleported), Enhanced Bite force, Enhanced accuracy (He can score bulls-eyes while looking in the opposite direction), Super human strength (Can bench-press up to one ton) Regeneration by sub-conscious Blood manipulation, Is a master of Alchemy and Necromancy, and is proficient in 12 languages, including Vampiric, Demonic, Draconic, Sumerian, and many more.
Weakness: Although Decapitation hurts, Being staked and shot is a bitch, Holy water stings a little, and gets sunburns easily, He cant really Die. There are two ways to kill him and make sure he stays dead: One, Find and destroy all his Soul Seals (The 6 items left) then follow these steps
1.) Stake him to wall/floor, or any other way to stop him from getting away.
2.) Behead him.
3.) Burn the body, then put it out by bathing it in holy water.
4.) Stab the head with a blade blessed by the pope.
5.) Dip the head in melted Cold Iron, then freeze it and ditch it at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
6.) Pray someone doesn’t find him and let him free.
^ That was a joke to an n00b that Raig quit over not being able to killing me. Imp not naming names, but you know who you are…
Another way is to be banished by a Celestial Creature of high authority and power. Even then he might come back.
A way to keep him into a temporarily dead state is to chain him with a blessed chain, bake in pure sunlight for 3 days and don’t let him have a drop of blood. This excludes the Feather of Lucifer (A relic I dare not speak of unless I deem you worthy of the knowledge.)
Appearence Items: has a cross he keeps around as a necklace (Not in image.) that actually has a thorn that was in the crown of thorns (The last hat Jesus wore. It was punishment as he was on the cross.) And also has an original copy of the Book of Nod (One of the original volumes of the bible that depicts Cain and Lilith, the first vampire and the first witch. It’s written in Sumerian, and despite never having a lesson, Delano understands the language perfectly.) His trench coat has magical properties. One of which is it seems to be spacious as he holds each one of his item there], and another thing is that it’s made of his blood (Don’t ask how, it only gets weirder.). Has Duel BFMGs (Big Fucking Magic Guns.) Made of a Rare ore found only in Nod called Nodasium (For those of you under educated, Nod is to hell as Limbo is to Heaven). It has various yet powerful magic properties, one of which is melting in the coldest temperatures and freezing in blazing hot degrees. Another is that it has all the firing force of a missile yet hardly any kickback. However, it is very heavy (half a ton to be precise). And with custom .392 Soul Bullets (Again, rare item. They seem like mini artillery shells, but before every shot they actually suck the magical and soul power around it, punishing the opponent with power that could make him/her nothing but a bad bloodstain that goes on for miles.). He has hundreds of extra bullets hidden all over his body, as well as thousands of blessed knives and a Nodasium holy Rapier blessed by a Protestant Arch-Bishop (Because a good one wouldn’t give him this kind of weapon).
Bio: Little is known about Delano other then he has a fucked sense of humor (One of his hobbies is shooting zombies), has an odd idea of Honor (EXAMPLE: If he deems someone a worthy Fighter in the field of Battle, he will surrender and congratulate them.) And has one fucked up noggin (Many people have become insane when they tried to read his mind.).
He also enjoys drinking (Anything from dwarven Ale to Anti-freeze), likes painting, pottery, and is also a wonderful Chiropractic. Few know that he participated in the Second World War, and was actually a lone survivor of a Nazi raid on a polish village.And now, one of my favorite poems…
And now some funny shit