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Kongregate

Epfinas's profile

About me

At the age of 2, I was kidnapped by a raggedy young band of housecats hoping I'd get a job and buy them cat food. When they figured out I was too young, they took pity on me and continued to raise me. We ate whatever we could find in dumpsters behind ethnic restaurants, and we procured our playthings from the local cat lady whose pockets were always spilling over with fun yarn, catnip, and orange bottles. When I turned 14, I tried to get various jobs to support my aging guardians, but no one wanted a yarn ball supervisor or a backup caterwauler. I eventually had to give my beloved family to the humane society in the hopes that they'd be given a dignified end to their lives. Since then I've been on the streets, scrounging for food and shelter and hoping that one day I might just meet the Wayward Catgirl (google it) of my dreams. Poems: Cut off the head, For sure it's dead Unless it'll squirm Then you must burn Control-- Touching, holding Manually manipulating Drop it-- and watch it shatter

Age: 18
Sex: Male
Location:

Member Since: Jul. 03, 2007
Last Login: Oct. 09, 2008
Current Points: 1526
Comments: 1

Latest Achievements

(view all badges)

: Elevator Eyes Badge (medium - 15 points); Unlock "random attack" and "limited view" modes in Z-Rox; Acquired Oct. 07, 2008

: --- - Badge (easy - 5 points); Complete the first 10 levels in Z-Rox; Acquired Oct. 07, 2008

: Pepe LePwned Badge (easy - 5 points); Defeat Pepe LeTank, the first boss in Talesworth Arena: Death Watch; Acquired Oct. 03, 2008

: Marker Sniffer Badge (easy - 5 points); Defeat 100 enemies during a single game on any difficulty setting in Whiteboard Tower Defense; Acquired Oct. 02, 2008

: Boot Camp Graduate Badge (medium - 15 points); Complete boot camp in Battalion: Nemesis; Acquired Sep. 27, 2008

: Field Training Badge (easy - 5 points); Destroy 10 enemies, produce a unit, and capture a resource structure in Battalion: Nemesis; Acquired Sep. 27, 2008

: Heads Will Fly Badge (easy - 5 points); Score 50 kills during any episode in Warlords: Heroes; Acquired Sep. 27, 2008

: Reefer Management Badge (medium - 15 points); Rebuild the destroyed reef in Kaleidoscope Reef; Acquired Sep. 27, 2008

: Unscratched Lens Badge (hard - 30 points); Obtain a multiplier of 10 in colourPod 2: dimensionPod; Acquired Sep. 27, 2008

: Splash of Color Badge (medium - 15 points); Restore 2,000 pixels in colourPod 2: dimensionPod; Acquired Sep. 26, 2008

: Colorless to Lifeless Badge (easy - 5 points); Destroy 100 colorless fragments in colourPod 2: dimensionPod; Acquired Sep. 26, 2008

: Stairway to the Light Badge (easy - 5 points); Complete level 5 in light-Bot; Acquired Sep. 25, 2008

: Road to Inner Peace Badge (easy - 5 points); Complete level 5 in loops of zen; Acquired Sep. 25, 2008

: Blue Runner Badge (easy - 5 points); Earn 5,000 points in Vector Runner; Acquired Sep. 04, 2008

: Fly Trap Badge (easy - 5 points); Eat 25 flies during a single game in Arachnophilia; Acquired Aug. 29, 2008

: Epic Drill Sergeant Badge (medium - 15 points); An army is only as strong as the training of its troops! Fully upgrade every unit type in Epic war; Acquired Aug. 29, 2008

: Stickicidal Maniac Badge (easy - 5 points); Be a complete jerk in Parachute Retrospect; Acquired Aug. 28, 2008

: Always One Survivor Badge (medium - 15 points); In every classic horror story, there's always exactly one survivor. Make this story no different in The Visitor; Acquired Aug. 28, 2008

: Super Happy Adventure Time Badge (medium - 15 points); Guide your lovable visitor through his quest to destroy all in his path in The Visitor; Acquired Aug. 28, 2008