HoboMonkey

A long time ago there once was a man named Ugh. Ugh was a caveman and like all cavemen he had sexual fantasies.

Ugh’s fantasy was to have intimate sexual activities with a Monkey.

One night when everything was quiet, Ugh sneaked out of his cave and climbed up the biggest tree to find ‘Big Momma Monkey’.

All throughout the forest and all through the cave you could hear the Grunting of Ugh and the screams of Big Momma Monkey.

Nine months later a baby was born, A boy with an abnormally hairy body, Big Momma Monkey thought it was ugly and left it in the woods to die.

The small baby crawled up to the cave, Ugh saw it and didn’t want anyone to see what he had done, he picked up the baby and took it to the lake at the edge of the forest and also left it there to die.

The baby, not wanting to die, had to survive off the nothingness around him by scavenging the nearby dumpsters, begging for food off the monkeys and cavemen and busking.

The baby made quite a good business out of busking and by the age of four was living a life of pleasure and luxury.

By the time the hairy Monkey baby could talk, read and write he named himself ‘HoboMonkey’ because of the way he was left to live on his own like a Hobo