Hi everyone!!!
Thanks for reading my profile I’ve been a Kongregate member for 2 years now. while being a member for 6 years I only had 3 goals
If the Word(s) is/are crossed out, that means I already did it.
Have friends
Get a top comment
I have to get lucky to get the last goal.
Become a Mod
People keep asking me about my picture. Its the Sword Art Online logo. SAO is my favorite anime that I like to watch, So… Yeah. Enjoy!
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It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had a really bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man “Tell me about the day you died.” The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him.
I searched all over the apartment but couldn’t find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging on the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from.
St. Peter couldn’t deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. “Well, sir, it was awful,” said the second man. “I was doing aerobics on my balcony on my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!”
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. “Tell me about the day you died.” he said to the third man in line. “OK, picture this;I’m naked inside a refrigerator”
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A hamster is like a cigarette, perfectly calm, until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
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So there was a Hispanic man who married an American woman. They went to vacation to Spain where everyone speaks Spanish. The woman buys chicken every night, but she doesn’t speak Spanish, so she shows her thighs to the store keeper so he knows what she wants. One day, the woman wanted a banana. So she brought her husband. Can you guess why? Her husband speaks Spanish, but I like what you think _
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Tarzan: Hmmm how should I talk to her? Hello I am Tarzan, and you are? It is an honor to talk to you miss, how are you? (Actual) Tarzan: Me Tarzan, you Jane Tarzan thoughts: Damnit!
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If i had a son, I would name him Sparta so if I introduce him, i would say “THIS IS SPARTA!” And if he had a twin, my friend would say "NO THIS IS PATRICK!
__________________________________M – Mature – Games – Blood and gore,
Drug reference, Intense violence, Strong language = Girl on her period
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Lol I don’t know why buy my school gives away “Yellow” carrots every day, so I asked my friend “What’s yellow, squishy, wet, and edible?” He said “Asians”
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“Help I had sex with a girl, and I peed in her. It was an accident, and now she wont talk to me.”
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FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reasons you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying “DAMN… THAT WAS FUN”
FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Drink the rest of that you know we don’t waste that stuff.”
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out
FAKE FRIENDS: Will read this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will steal this, just like I did
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(v’.’) – KIRBY
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┊┊┊┊☆┊┊┊┊┊Nyan┊Cat ┈┈┈┈╭━━━━━━╮┊☆┊ ┈┈┈┈┃╳╳╳▕╲▂▂╱▏┊ ┈┈┈┈┃╳╳╳▕▏▍▕▍▏┊ ┈┈╰━┫╳╳╳▕▏╰┻╯▏┊ ┈┈┈┈┃╳╳╳╳╲▂▂╱┊┊ ┊┊┊┊╰┳┳━━┳┳╯┊┊☆
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You say Taylor Swift, I say Breaking Benjamin
You say Lady Gaga, I say Evanescence
You say Miley Cyrus, I say Slipknot
You say T-Pain,I say Three Days Grace
You say Eminem, I say Linkin Park
You say Jonas Brother,I say Green Day
You say Flowers,I say Puddle of Mudd
92% people have turned to pop and hip-hop.If you are part of the 8% that still listens to real music. DONT LET ROCK DIE!
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Even though I am not a mod, here’s some links that might help you become a mod, or add some mods as friends.
How to become a Moderator – http://www.kongregate.com/pages/help#become
If I’m not online and you need help in-chat, feel free to PM another online mod: www.kongregate.com/accounts/Modfriend/friends
 "Jake8")