Jon_WiseCracka

Jon WiseCracka Had A hard Life, Not Everyone Can Fight off an Army Of Mecha Turtles you know! When He was born Jon Wisecracka was far too small, the doctors were worried he would die, But Jon WiseCracka Did not die; in fact, he Thrived. At age Twelve, Jon WiseCracka Was six feet tall, He towered over his peers, they shunned him for it, to the endless background monologue of “shunnn” Jon WiseCracka Went through High school. At age Sixteen Jon WiseCracka Got in a fight, Against Two Cyborgs; Jon WiseCracka Fought valiantly but sadly lost to their master move “Punch him in the eye!”. Jon WiseCracka Survived; but lost his left eye, With the loss of his left eye Tormenting him Jon Became a Pirate; He fought many a Robot and/or Mutant Buccaneer on the Open Sea. After amassing a fortune of Gold And robot Parts, Jon WiseCracka Became a Corporate CEO, But Alas it was not to be, Jon WiseCracka’s Company
“This Business Will Fail, Eventually Making Me Bankrupt. CorporateExplosion” Failed and Eventually made Him Bankrupt, Jon WiseCracka Could not take the pressure of his investors complaints, Then suddenly Jon WiseCracka Had a Brilliant Idea; He Screamed “Eureka!” out into the open air, Jon WiseCracka had decided to fake his own death, The explosives were laid the timer set and Jon WiseCracka Drove away in an unmarked Totally awesome Muscle Car.
Eventually Jon WiseCracka Settled Down and Decided to Write A totally Awesome, Ridiculous, Unbelievable Backstory on Kongregate; And this.IS.THAT.BACKSTORY.UN-FRICKEN-BELIEVABLE. Also Jon WiseCracka Beat some Mecha Turtles…or something like that.