June 30, 2016 update. I used to make an effort to have a profile worthy of other people’s laughter…. Turns out I also made it for myself. I’m literally crying with laughter.
pwnageASSASSIN: Hi Mc! Shit. I needa sleep soon though.____________________
224e: He only responds to pms now______
pwnageASSASSIN: Why’s that?__________
224e: he has resided into his lair since the fun left______________________________
pwnageASSASSIN: I needa get a ****ing lair…________________________________
224e: and plus when he did that he was the main cause by doing that_______________
pwnageASSASSIN: So I’ve heard._______
McIntosh: Wait wait wait________________
McIntosh: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!!
CommanderRook: Hell yeah, Mac._______
McIntosh: poofs______________________
CommanderRook: Like a ninja of apple justice.______________________________
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pearlpack: why do humans have to sleep?
its a waste of time and u get horrible morning breath ugh
AbsoluteYin: Oh no, morning breath.
AbsoluteYin: Screw it, you might as well take laziness, slow response time, hallucinations, insanity, death, over getting morning breath.
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AbsoluteYin: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
AbsoluteYin: I’m gonna see how inconspicuously I can insert that into a chat.
mazer2462: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
AbsoluteYin: It makes me laugh every time, I don’t know why. I might be retarded.
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MarsIsHere: Where you born retarded, or were you taught to be so?
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McIntosh: Type faster!_________________
AbsoluteYin: I deleted everything I just typed to say f/u0075uck you.___________
AbsoluteYin: Wow, that didn’t work.______
McIntosh: lmfao______________________
AbsoluteYin: **** YOU_________________
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MarsIsHere: I’m getting off your lap._____
AbsoluteYin: I don’t tell stories, and that’s my phone.___________________________
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Zak7062: I almost said and mars get the pole outa your ass____________________
McIntosh: wait________________________
McIntosh: hey mars get the pole out of your ass____________________________
To Zak7062: ok bye___________________
Zak7062: laughs hysterically____________
To Zak7062: ;)_______________________
Zak7062: gotta make room I suppose____
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Hades680: smiles :D__________________
NecroSlain: Why did you smile after you smiled? Creeper______________________ ____________________________________
AbsoluteYin: I’ma go jerk myself off. Back in a minute.__________________________
McIntosh: Think of me._________________
KoalaBars: Damn you last long__________
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GeneralRed: and yes mars is actually mars is quite comfortable on the inside :I
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MizuNoKuni: I raped myself last night. I screamed and pulled away, but I knew I wanted it.
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MarsIsHere: u kone wut u r jtsu a mutre fukine nerd nd i hahd ur mumy fer diner nd wii hd sum sexii tym nd i wun aahahaahahahhahahahahaAHAHAhahaA
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AkujiMalice: ah well. insanity is the minds one effective defense against reality
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cancancoo: You ruined it. >:| I don’t love you any more.
MarsIsHere: CCC.
cancancoo: NOU
MarsIsHere: You know I’M you’re hero. Pulls down CCC’s pants
Fizzytheninja: takes off own pants
ApprenticeChief: Drools
Fizzytheninja: drools on self
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AStrawberrySlush: AC watches desperate housewives.
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mousewhisker43: i cant get the fingernail polish off >:[
AbsoluteYin: Try white spirit.
AbsoluteYin: Ah Jesus I can’t beleive I just admitted that .
McIntosh: YIN=CROSSDRESSER!
AbsoluteYin: QUIET
McIntosh: NO!
AbsoluteYin: Maybe it’ll go unnoticed o_o
McIntosh: where did rachel go?
nutter666: oooh.. does baby miss his mommy?
McIntosh: Oh…you imply I like rachel?
Is that what you were going on about? cXisforcookie: nah, he just likes being breastfed
nutter666: she fancies AC.. you have no chance
KoalaBars: xD
McIntosh: I don’t want a chance. Fool.
nutter666: sure… whatever you say
KoalaBars: sighs I wish mc liked me D;
Everybody loves Rachel! So sad!
McIntosh: I have the capacity to be friends with a female and not want to **** them.
KoalaBars: I don’t <<
AStrawberrySlush: yes
AbsoluteYin: Will do. I’ll be back with pictures.
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pwnageASSASSIN: I’m gonna go eat ice cream and… uh.. Make out with my hot girlfriend. Uh… and bang her. Yeah. Because I do that kind of stuff. :P
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MizuIsHere: I’m in a mood that would make your asshole tingle :)
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AbsoluteYin: I’m a Mcsexual.
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Zak7062: bites his man hood off
tastes like chicken~
McIntosh: lol hater has no happenis~
hater22: gets it back haha its mine
glues it back on~
Zak7062: you got it out of my stomach?
How exactly…?~
McIntosh: hes got shit for a happenis now!
a huge turd~
Zak7062: a tiny turd more like it~
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hydrus777: Do any of you own a dog?~
Fizzytheninja: i got a gf does that count?~
hydrus777: LOL~
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ApprenticeChief: Why is it that you call people who exhibit a greater intelligence idiots?
qwerty25: because we have lower intelligence nad must name people idiots
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Frogmanex: Lmfao. Twitter sucks.
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Frogmanex: “It’s symbolic because it starts the same and finishes the same, and the same things happen in between.”
Frogmanex: My ass.
Frogmanex: It’s a lame-ass, desperate-ass, wannabe-cool-ass name for a sorry-ass writer.
>.> 1984? Animal Farm?
Those are good books, despite the historical references.
She had us read Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. That’s a good book.
Of course, Burleson banned the book from the school.
So we didn’t get to finish it, but I read it outside of class.
The one good book, they banned it.
Ask me why… Go on…
Ask.
Zak7062: why
Frogmanex: It’s a philosophical novel, explaining “How things came to be this way” as far as humanity is concerned. In its explanations, it interprets parts of the Bible differently than most people would interpret it.
Zak7062: lmao
Frogmanex: So the little Christians got it banned for being “anti-religious”.
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SkidRowSlasher: Listen to Frog. The last time someone ignored him, the Vietnam war started.
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dragonreborn567: I like the part where we are all generalized because people can’t possibly perceive anything other than a very basic categorical tag stuck to everything.
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yashmon: erm… pay no attention to mike he went mad after he came back from vietnam
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Frogmanex: No, Fed. Last warning.
McIntosh: like dont say ‘’I was walking my bitch, and another dog tried to mount her.’’
Frogmanex: .
Frogmanex: I’m out.
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WtfBtwAtmIdcGtfo: Where ARE my bitches anyway? Did you fools scare them off?
Phantom92: ^Awsome username.
WtfBtwAtmIdcGtfo: Nein duece. I am the epitomy of aweseom.
Phantom92: God damnit. It’s McI.
GeneralRed: McI is his rapper name XD
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Frogmanex: Listen, dude, I’m trying to have a conversation. Stop your bullshit. _____________________________________
AbsoluteYin: I’m wondering why, right after taking a shit, I need a shit again.
Solsund: you’re full of shit, Yin
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JohannasGarden: This is true, Sol. Some of the best mods are Frogs.
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Zak7062: out of my 200 friends mc
you are number one
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zeaga: MCINTOSH IS #5!
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If you try and plant one foot on either side of the fence, you wind up with a post in your ass. M.R.McIntosh
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There is something in all of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. ════════════════
It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you do not have it, you will all of your life spend your days being pulled by the strings of somebody else.
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Storageheater: lol, rapping about food stamps would rock
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Storageheater: McIntosh, your profile makes no sense
McIntosh: My profile is now a shitpit that I haven’t touched in months, Sto.
Storageheater: I’m mostly annoyed because the quote from me has no context and just isnt funny
McIntosh: Well Sto. I will fix that for you.
dramatic pause
McIntosh: Oh right Sto. I see what you mean. I will fix my profile for you now.
rambling during my absence begins
Storageheater: lol Mc, it’s just not good enough.
Storageheater: McIntosh, you may put this on your profile for me:
Storageheater: storageheater
Storageheater: that is all.
eb395: StorageHeater: I’ve grown to like a few people in here,but my muscles will hate me if I go for one.
Storageheater: go for one? How do you mean?
Storageheater: Oh, I see. What.
thier rambling ceases
McIntosh: Ok STO!
McIntosh: Take a look now.
eb395: No you.
StorageHeater looks at my new profile (seen above)
Storageheater: LOL.
McIntosh: ;)
Storageheater: That’s just really really annoying.
McIntosh: .
eb395: LOL. Replied the Sto.
McIntosh: Possibly your dumbest moment is now immortalized, Sto.
McIntosh: I love you.
end
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FOOTNOTE: Sto’s reaction to all of this:
Storageheater: I’m speechless, McIntosh.
 "McIntosh")