Hello. I am me, as you may have figured out. I don’t know why you’re reading this. I’m into things like books, games, football (Aussie Rules) and music.
Here are some extracts from books from the Skulduggery Pleasant series.
Haven’t read them? Read them. Don’t like them? Find the best Psychiatrist you can get.
- “We’re not retreating, we’re advancing in reverse."
- “So that plan worked out well.’
“Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, ’Let’s get up close and then see what happens.’”
“All the same,” he said, "I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.”
- “Are you going to shoot me?" Vengeous sneered. “I wouldn’t be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.”
“And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”
- “Can I just point something out?" Fletcher asked. “That is an awful plan. On a scale of one to ten – the Trojan War being a ten and General Custer verus all those Indians being a one – your plan is a zero. I don’t think it is a plan at all. I think it’s just a series of happenings that are, to be honest, unlikely to follow on from each other in the way in which everyone’s probably hoping.”
“Do you have a better plan?” Valkyrie asked.
“Of course not. I’m a man of action, not thought.”
Valkyrie nodded. “You’re defintely not a man of thought.”
“Why are you in charge anyway? What do you know about organising something like this?”
“I have faith,” Tanith said.
“As do I,” said Ghastly.
Valkyrie smiled at them gratefully. “So you think the plan will work?”
“God, no,” said Ghastly.
“Sorry, Val,” said Tanith
- “I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.
“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in
a variety of martial arts by some of the best ﬁghters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”
“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword… I want a stick.”
“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.”
- “Guild doesn’t like me."
“He doesn’t like you, ether.”
“That is mystifying.”
- “By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?’
‘You can call me whatever you like.’
Vex nodded. ’Thank you, Gladys.”
- “You’re bored, aren’t you.’
‘I need constant distraction. Shall we go?’
‘Uh, aren’t you supposed to delegate responsibility or something? If you’re not here, who’s in charge?’
Skulduggery looked around and pointed to a sorcerer at the far side of the cemetery. ‘He is.’
‘Who is he?’
’Don’t know. He looks like leadership material, though, doesn’t he?’
’He’s wearing a hat.’
‘And that means he’s a leader?’
‘Leaders wear hats. It’s to keep the rain off while we make important decisions. He’ll do fine.’
’Shouldn’t you tell him that he’s in charge?’
’And spoil the surprise?”
- “I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.’
‘Shut your face.’
’Exactly my point.”
- “This is your last chance to do the right thing.’
‘Do you want to attack first, or will I?’
Skulduggery held up a finger. ‘Do you mind if I confer with my colleague for a moment?’
‘By all means.’
Skulduggery leaned in towards Valkyrie. ‘Damn,’ he whispered. ’She’s not going to do the right thing.’
‘Did you really think she would?’
‘I was really hoping.’
‘Can we beat her?’ Valkyrie asked.
‘I don’t like our chances.’
‘What are our chances?’
‘We don’t have any,’ Skulduggery admitted. ‘Do you think you can take Craven on your own?’
‘Me either. Do you want to leave him to me then, and you can take her?’
‘I like that idea even less.’
‘I don’t blame you.’
She sighed. ’We’re going to get killed, aren’t we?’
‘It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack.’
’They’re staring right at us.’
‘Dammit.’ Skulduggery straightened up. ‘We have discussed the situation,’ he said to them, ‘and decided that it would be in everyone’s best interests for me to fight you, Melancholia, and for both Valkyrie and Cleric Craven to stand back and cheer or boo as they see fit.”
- “Oh, China. How I have missed you."
“And I have missed you, Eliza. But don’t worry, next time my aim will be better.”