I’m the sexy ageless, androgynous, bisexual PastaCow :D
Past (Self given)
Pasta (From Gorram)
PastaCow (From Pyro)
Pastry (From Demon)
Blanket (From Creepy)
Pasta Sauce (From Shaded)
PastryCow (From Shaded)
Pasty (From Tamar)
Pest (From Cripple)
The Story of PastaCow — By PyroDragon
Once upon a time there was a Cow. But not just any Cow, [it] was a Special Cow. This Cow was made of Pasta. All the other Cows were jealous of [it’s] Pastayness.
So one, day, the other Cows hatched a dastardly scheme to kill the Pasta Cow. They lured [it] into woods, where their actions wouldn’t be seen. But the farmer called them to get food. The other Cows decided to go eat, and then come back to kill the Pasta Cow. PastaCow was already tied up, so [it] couldn’t go.
When the farmer had all the Cows, he began to load them up on a truck. They thought this was odd, because usually they got fed in the barn. One Cow said “Maybe we’re going to a fancy restaurant!” The other Cows thought “Yeah, I bet the farmer is treating us to a night out!” They weren’t very smart. They were Cows, after all. But the one Cow had no idea how right he was.
When the Cows were all loaded up, the farmer noticed he was one Cow short, The PastaCow. He sent the truck anyway, because the hold-up would cost more than a Cow made of Pasta would be worth at market. The Cows on the truck went to the slaughterhouse and were killed, cut up, and sent to fancy restaurants.
The farmer found the PastaCow the next day. The PastaCow said to the farmer “Thank goodness you found me! The other Cows were going to kill me!” The PastaCow had made a Cow-to-Human translator somehow while [it] was tied up and in the woods. Because [it] could now communicate with the farmer, the farmer decided he would feel bad if he killed the PastaCow, so he kept [it] as a pet.
The next year, the farmer found it hard to kill ANY Cows, because he could now understand them. After only a year, his farm went under and he had to sell all his belongings just to buy food. He even had to sell the PastaCow to www.kongregate.com for the amusement of their members.
The farmer died just a few years later a poor, lonely old man.
The moral of the story is “Just because you’re special, doesn’t mean you’re useful.”
PixieSour: everyone deserves cake
IPrayToOdin: Potatoes have Down’s Syndrome?
Charliee21: Its loading Icey, give me sex. :D
Snakeface: You’re like the jail bait that loves everyone, but the moment someone touches you they go to prison.
WillTroll4food: Put Nerdy on your ‘to do’ list, under ‘put out like a fire’
vanillacream: Pasta, why are you so lovable? You seem like one of those little squishy animals that you just want to squeeze.