avatar for Paulverizer11


Latest Activity: Played a game (10 hours ago)

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    Mar. 19, 2011
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    FBI's Most Wanted list
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    You're it!
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    I don't even know what PSN is
Love is a powerful thing, and I am truly blessed to have it. I am happier than I have ever been, truly.


*ATTENTION!* I will now have a new organizational system for the quotes. Quotes will now be listed chronologically. However, because I do not know when the old quotes were recorded, this organizational system will only apply to quotes recorded after 4/10/2014. These quotes will be at the end of the "MEMORABLE QUOTES" section.

"Rule #1 of profiling, don't try to be profiled." ~SonicOkami

"I'm a closet lesbian." ~Missyyum58

"Now stuff and gift, schmut." ~Ichishinigami

"Paul is a pretty, pretty princess!" ~Mikkeron


"Paul takes some getting used to.
He's like an oddly~colored and eccentric kangaroo." ~FrozenCereal

"Let's talk about Paul's girlfriends floppy danglers." ~ChristopherB2

"When I have no sugar, I pour cocaine in my coffee." ~MadJedi

"A furry bear who enjoys eating flesh. You know, Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, but he had no hair. And began to kill all the people around him to make hair suits." ~Yllib

"Them some dangerous nipples." ~Nitetrooper93

"Paul will do the screwing." ~Hoolo

"Something about public guilt vs private guilt and how none of it matters because you'll turn into a hairy old fart and your children will leave you." ~Hercludes

"Paul, go ahead and bludgeon my nipples with a dinosaur bone." ~Samuro2

"Back from drowning in Paul's profile." ~Frankiesmum

"It is okay to disagree with me. I can't force you to be right." ~Frankiesmum

"I like killing things." ~KoRn897Disturbed

"Well you know what they say. If you want to be sexy, put a mustache on a panda." ~Rachel654

"Hug ALL the people!" ~Akasharoo

"Well, according to Pepperidge Farms, you all will die." ~Verodox

"I've died a couple times, but I've never figured out how to come back." ~Infinity781

"Paul has diseases!" ~KoRn789Disturbed

"Enough with the rubbing!" ~PsychoticTrinity

"I have a sneaking suspicion Paul is a murderer." ~Baushi

"I like stabbing things." ~Hoffrandexpress

"Paulie is the best molester ever." ~Chubbs199

"I'm in bed with a horse." ~DarkWolfWAFFLEZ

"Paul is a popular girl." ~Baushi

"Well tickle my nipples, it's Paul!" ~Superchill36
"You heard the man, someone tickle his nipples." ~NK12

"I like fondling myself." ~InevitableFate

"Basically Paul does whatever the hell he wants, and I let him." ~TheLinkToThePast


"Liken me to a giant seal." ~DoorbellX

"I'm waiting for someone to be willing to have sex with me." ~GraveHorizon

"Paul is an imaginary object." Eb395

"RESTAURANT. YOU. ME. ROBOTS." ~ShadowBlitz237

"Stop looking at me with that tone of thought!" ~Halonbdmx

"I like you, Paul. It takes a special person to cheerlead genocide." ~Entheomancer

"Jetpacks are never random." ~Charizard95

"I want to write the biography of Pauls ass. Chapter One: The Spanking." ~N2Johnston

"We are gathered here today to join these two unknown lifeforms in the bond of holy matrimony, though not necessarily, depending on your religious views." ~Cubicon

"Paul's ass is hiding beneath me." ~Tkkttony

"Well that didn't get weird." ~Cubicon

"You're a glittering gangster." ~Oatmeals

"Paul eats children and cats for a living. That's why he's so messed up." ~Missyyum58

"Practicising makes perfiffifect." ~Sirago

"Everyone just agrees with what Paul says. It's great." ~Mikkeron

"NEVER question Paul." ~N2Johnson

"Also, don't ever take Paul's advice." ~Cubicon

"Paul wins at sex." ~MaginManiac7

"I look like a lesbian, but I'm not..." ~ShadowBlitz237

"I look like a lesbian, but I am..." ~Chubbs199

"Do sexual things to him with a garden hose!" ~ColdHusk

"I wear thongs when no one watches." ~Baraka_Obama

"My bad. You never disagree with an old black man trapped in an infant child's bodily structure." ~Infinity781

"I eat ALL the baby dinosaurs." ~GoldenHart

"I'm considering hiring a clown to strangle." ~ShadowGuardian96

"Paul is always helping. Just in his own mystical mermaid ways." ~KoRn897Disturbed

"Am I not cool enough to be in your threesome?" ~Deasta

"My father was a walrus. I want to be just like him one day." ~Mutt_Romney

"I'm not sure if we're talking about genitals or belly buttons." ~Sachan18

"I've been a turtle." ~Killer_Karisma

"I have tiny people in my pants." ~Noahx44

"I'm the best tree." ~SonicOkami

"#Suddenly I'm a Velociraptor." ~Ijustgotbanned

"*Giggleblushsnort*" ~DarkRainyKnight

"Call me Paul." ~Missyyum58

"Paul's name DOES turn me on." ~Johanna_T

"I like to engage in empiricist arguments with my toilet. He's a utilitarian, too." ~Infinity781


"Elven bows. Now that's the honky donky." ~GoldenHart

"I hate it when I get a fetus confused with a carrot." ~Why60

"I'll be minding my own business, when you will burst out of me yelling 'FETUS!'" ~SonicOkami

"Well, of COURSE the potato would say that." ~Infinity781

"I learned that lemons do not make good suppositories." ~Telo1

"When you touch Paul's nipples he giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy." ~KingdomHearts615

"You are very smooth if you managed to bring up your private parts without me even noticing. XD And that sentence was really difficult to not word the wrong way." ~Rachel654

"Paul, I say Blargagh the Gastrodon to your face-eating." ~Hoolo

"Paul, kindly go do an activity you enjoy." ~FrozenCereal

"This conversation has gone from kinky to depressing. We are a special group." ~Natamora

"Paul is the initiation ritual manager; anyone that didn't leave the room because they were freaked out by his words may stay." ~MadJedi

"I've seen fairer toasters than you." ~Hoolo

"Paul has spoken. It's time to rub your belly." ~FrozenCereal

"LOUD NOISES." ~Heylia

"You cant be blindsided Paul. Nothing can blindside those nipples." ~Nitetrooper93

"Because a pacifist always tells people to melt their genitalia." ~SonicOkami

"AROUSED CATS." ~Missyyum58

"I also enjoy details about breasts." ~Ronillar

"SOON we will be the wife and apparently the other wife. Which is odd, as that's very illegal in Texas. It helps that I look like such a dude, they just went 'Oh, no those boobs must be from a freak accident. I'm sure he's legit.'" ~Yllib


"I always come at the wrong time." ~Paulverizer11
"I've heard that is a problem for some guys." ~Frankiesmum

"That's like telling a spoon it's wrong. There's just no premise." ~01thatotherguy10
"The spoon is wrong. There is no spoon." ~MadJedi

"The lampshades whisper evil things to me..." ~XoXItsMeXoX


"No, sir. YOU ARE THE WRONG JELLYFISH." ~GorillaBaby


"I am a pretty dolphin." ~SaraPsychoBot

"My nipples are bulging at the rate of the speed of light." ~2worlds

"Advice disregarded, plan continued!" ~AdmiralGreene

"My response is: Kibbles and bits." ~FrozenCereal

"STRIP FOR ME." ~SaraPsychoBot

"The knife doesn't matter!" ~FrozenCereal

"If I had a bagel company, I'd call it 'Strangled Nun Bagels.'" ~Petesahooligan


"HAHA POWDOODLE! hehe blaha." ~SupremeH

"I think Paul has tourettes." ~FrozenCereal

"Cocaine is the only correct answer." ~XXPOEXX

"My ex-gf told me to quit playing pokemon because it was childish... I roared at her and said she didnt have enough badges to control me." ~Blunt

"I'll cut you." ~FrozenCereal

"Shut up, you suck, and I am awesome." ~PshawitsAshley

"Paul, you prostitute satchel." ~Superchill36

"Frozen is Paul's ho-bag. It's not hard to understand." ~Aturtledoesbite

"Go table dance for a grizzly." ~FrozenCereal

"I am armed with a spoon and dangerous." ~FrozenCereal

"Rub a dub dub, too bad." ~FrozenCereal

"Mmm, naked cops." ~BigBadBaz


"That's like saying 'Domestic violence removes the knowledge of how to operate door handles from women.'" ~Ichishinigami

"I'm black, I have witch doctor powers." ~ZacharyLeo34

"Paul, don't be a negative necrophiliac." ~FrozenCereal


"Rub Paul's belly and three of your seven dreams will come true." ~GorillaBaby

"You had me at 'do me.'" ~FrozenCereal

"Cocaine. SO MUCH cocaine." ~The_Anonymus

"SUCK ON MY ZAP-STICK." ~FrozenCereal

"I slap brick walls with my face daily." ~FrozenCereal

"U lice niffing moles." ~SupremeH

"Paul, I do believe turnips." ~FrozenCereal

"Like. 'something something suck on his Butterscotch.'" ~Craftsman465

"And soccer has a goalie, but that doesn't mean you can't murder his family." ~FrozenCereal


"I am not an archaeologist but I think that's more than four words." ~GorillaBaby

"I'm sexually excited, please continue." ~FrozenCereal



"Just go clear things up. 'Sup, babe? Yeah, I kinda love you, romantically. So baby doll, we smoochin' or what?'" ~FrozenCereal

"Death by stabbing, internet going down. What's the difference?" ~Ichishinigami


"Paul officially becomes the spanker now." ~MadJedi

"Nipply bits sounds like a tea biscuit." ~Geistmaus

"HURRRRGGH. SO CALM!" ~FrozenCereal

"Paul, I will electrocute your small intestine. With CLAMS." ~FrozenCereal

"The deal has been walrused. You spam, I silence." ~MadJedi

"Best reason to play Raiden: 'DWABBALEDADAHHHHHHHH!!'" ~FrozenCereal

"...It's like 12 monkeys all over again." ~Squidcicle

"No. Dolphin Shaped Gummy Candy." ~GorillaBaby

"What's old? o-o" ~SupremeH
"It's when people stop getting your jokes." ~BobThePlumber

"Paul, when in doubt, Viking Space Cows." ~Alphapowner

"I am not have a brain, no." ~FrozenCereal

"I'm generally aroused around Ichi." ~FrozenCereal

"We all also have Jew-noses." ~Ichishinigami

"Sometimes this room is like the most awkward orgy ever. It's at those times I pretend I'm AFK." ~FrozenCereal

"Jetpacks make almost everything better." ~FrozenCereal

"You are overthinking Paul's body. That's creepy." ~SaraPsychoBot

"Your face needs sharpening, Paul." ~Kunosachiaka

"I'm a doctor. And I know something's wrong by....all that blood coming out of you." ~Sweetsop

"Stop having fun you guys, rawr yar harblebrer." ~FrozenCereal

"Sticks and swords may cut my flesh. But Paul will really hurt me." ~GorillaBaby

"You know what happens when you make assumptions, GB. You make an ass of u and... mptions..." ~FrozenCereal

"Yes, blame Paul for everything. It makes ME feel better!" ~FrozenCereal

"Well, slap my gums, throw a pickle barrel over and call me Cletus. You done diddly be right." ~GorillaBaby

"I will hurt your children." ~SupremeH

"My children will hurt themselves just fine without your help!" ~FrozenCereal

"I'm selling apathy. You can pay me whatever through paypal. Or not, no big deal." ~Boatzilla

"Destroy his respiratory system!" ~Alphapowner

"The only homosexual in me is how i talk." ~SupremeH

"On a scale of 1 to "riddled with cocaine" how awake should I be right now?" ~FrozenCereal

"People with glass houses sink ships." ~1life1bullet

"I disregard your card game shenanigans and raise you a bishop." ~Zek136

"Paauull, you silly little fungle doop." ~FrozenCereal

"Did you consider your problems relative to meteors?" ~petesahooligan

"Well herp my derp and... just that, actually." ~FrozenCereal

"What the hell am I dong..." ~craftsman465

"You. Me. Teletubbies." ~Geistmaus


"The derp is strong in this one." ~TehFrod

"Paul, go enjoy a balanced meal full of nutrients and vitamins. And then BURN." ~FrozenCereal

"You're confusing 'mild entertainment' with 'caring.'" ~Adv0catus

"I'm so aroused." ~LethalMutiny

"Paul is just wordly. And by wordly I mean he's a fairy." ~FrozenCereal

"Shut your nipples first." ~MadJedi

"'Sir, the war has gone on for far too long, our sentences bad are getting.'" ~SonicOkami

"FC, take my love in the form of intercourse. From Paul." ~Superchill36

"Herp a diddly derp, no cuddles for Paul. Ho-baggity magenta!" ~FrozenCereal

"I don't always orange. But when I do, spanking." ~The_Anonymus

"Im just a silly lollysucking girl." ~Johanna_T

"I AM AN OAK TREE." ~Gaydecay

"I don't have a chosen major yet. Otherwise, ho-baggery." ~FrozenCereal

"I came to Kong after my great Dead Body Orgy." ~MoustacheSniper

"The bags have turned, Paul. That sounds almost sexual..." ~FrozenCereal


"And it's that time of night again when half of me is insane, and the other half is in this sentence..." ~Madtiger45

"Wow, what a weird bunch we are." ~Argothin

"Congratulations, my ability to care about what you say has improved from Indifferent to Actively Ignoring!" ~Aturtledoesbite

"I should stalk you." ~FrozenCereal

"I don't think there's a scientific instrument around to measure how little Paul cares :P" ~N2Johnson 4/10/2014

"It's one of my favorite parts of living, really. Not being shot." ~N2Johnson 4/14/14

"And as a matter of fact, I ADORE Paul's ass" ~N2Johnson 4/19/2014

"There was once a chat room that didn't make any sense, yet everyone acted like there was nothing weird going on. Avoid fried cabbage." ~Mikkeron 4/21/2014

"Paul is the section of your dictionary that your parents never wanted you to read." ~Cubicon 4/22/2014

"RELEASE THE PUPPIES." ~Mikkeron 4/26/2014

"Paul doesn't care if he is relevant or not." ~Mikkeron 4/26/2014

"Run run, Julie's got a sponge." ~Mikkeron 4/27/2014

"Dead people be like '...'" ~Mikkeron 4/28/2014

"No, go outside and scream 'I'm a steam-powered gremlin! And i'm edible!'" ~Mikkeron 4/30/2014

"Splat. Death salad." ~Mikkeron 4/30/2014

"All employees of OP reserve the right to be dicks to whomever they please." ~N2Johnson 5/1/2014

"Blapatron." ~2ndJ3ss3

"A party without at least 3 deaths is considered a dull affair." ~Stoney12345 5/6/2014


"If you had to choose between purple and cat people, how far would you see yourself, and why?" ~Cubicon 5/9/2014

"He left because he was scared of my very real and heterosexual penis." ~Maglowiltos 5/9/2014

"Cubicon: Cubicon: Cubicon: Cubicon: Cubicon: Cubicon: Cubicon: Could be Cubicon." ~Cubicon 5/12/2014

"Every game is multiplayer if youre really lonely and creative." ~Dogboy708 5/17/2014

"victory by asphyxiation!" ~insaneabide93 5/20/2014

"wrptld pearfc is inlporyantt." ~Whizzzzbang 5/20/2014

"protip guys don't revert to name calling, that can get you into trouble. just mute them and then enjoy paul's milkshakes." ~MyNameIsNothing

"I'm used to having other people's souls." ~Cubicon 6/4/2014

"i like to play monopoly with my good ol' friend satan" ~josephwar22 6/27/2014

"To a Brit hearing about the 4th of July is like finding out your ex girlfriend has been celebrating the day you broke up... with fireworks... FOR 238 YEARS." ~TehFrod 7/5/2014

"I dont mean to sound like I hate you, but are you giving us a lecture?" ~Elite_16 7/13/2014

"I'm an 80 year old man." ~Rachel654 7/24/2014

"Animated pregnant bestiality is my fav." ~Elite_16 8/10/2014

"Quick squeeze mah butt." ~Jaffa94 8/12/2014

"Ignore the vibrating panda." ~Elite_16 8/26/2014

"I'm a level 27 Canadian." ~Cubicon 8/30/2014

"He a unicorn." ~Mikkeron 9/12/2014

"I'm a tree." ~590433 10/7/2014

"Paul IS love." ~Mikkeron 10/14/2014

"Paul associates refrigerators with sex." ~Mikkeron 10/14/2014

"Paul associates just about everything with sex." ~Cubicon 10/14/2014

"12 Trollers Trolling, 11 Nice Bewbies, 10 Regs a'Reggin, 9 Scotts a'Moosing, 8 Nats' a'Drinking, 7 Pauls a Nipplin', 6 Joobs a'Joobin, 5 MUSE ALBUUUMMMMSSSS, 4 Julies Conquerin', 3 French Kisses, 2 Failed PM's, and a Dave Smoking in the Pear Treeeeee." ~N2Johnson 11/17/2014

"I wish i was a walrus, then people wouldn't look at me so strange when i flop around on my stomach at the zoo." ~Mikkeron 11/18/2014

"Beware the nunchuck-wielding baby seal." ~Mikkeron 11/30/2014

"If you grind up a human enough, they look like eggs." ~Mikkeron 11/30/2014

"Bangladeshian ninjas armed with sausages are why pandas are endangered, which is also why you're dumb." ~Mikkeron 12/1/2014

"THE OTTER ISN'T WORKING" ~Mikkeron 12/19/2014

"KILL KILL KILL KILL." ~Mikkeron 12/19/2014
"Japan: It was 1980 when the rest of the world was in the 90s." ~DarkRainyKnight 12/21/2014
"Oh, hell. It is Christmas. Dead babies for all!" ~Mikkeron 12/25/2014
"The call of the octopus sometimes attracts their most common predator, though. The wombat. And wombats are some crazy little shits." ~Mikkeron 12/25/2014
"I agree with the nipple scientist! =D" ~MistRaven801 [DATE UNKNOWN]
"Admire the almighty corn!" ~Eb395 [DATE UNKNOWN]
"Why is it, that when i see a beautiful pink sunrise, the only thing i can think of is Paul's ass?" ~Mikkeron 1/7/2015
"You know.. Paul is kinda like the terms and conditions. You agree with him, but never quite understand.." ~Mikkeron 1/16/2015
"I don't support your ass in any way, Paul." ~Cubicon 1/16/2015
"I'm a bunch of midgets in a horse costume." ~DarkRainyKnight 1/17/2015
"I'd murder a pizza right about now." ~Cubicon 1/22/2015
"I'm so glad my butt was tickled today." ~DarkRainyKnight 1/26/2015
"Now dance clad only in a speedo with the pattern of the Union Jack." ~N2Johnson 2/1/2015
"I prefer thinking of paul as a dragonfly." ~Punkgoddess 2/1/2015
"i forget paul logic defies the laws of physics." ~Stache777 2/3/2015
"the passion negates the ball-touching :)" ~BigBadBaz 2/6/2015
"'And this has been the evening weird. Thank you for tuning into the Channel 2 news, the Palace.'" ~N2Johnson 2/16/2015
"If you can't stand the strangeness, get out of the Ocean Palace" ~N2Johnson 2/16/2015
"'G'day mate! Wanna see my soggy dingo?'" ~N2Johnson 2/16/2015
"All of my friends are pornographic." ~HiiiTimes 2/17/2015
"I do keep my chickens in Paul." ~FrozenCereal 2/28/2015
"HUG MY BULLETS OF LOVE!" ~Elite_16 3/6/2015
"FrozenCereal brand cereal, part of a complete breakfast." ~Eb395 3/15/2015
"I'M A CAR!" ~Mikkeron 3/18/2015
"Yeah, Paul was surprisingly normal compared to the rest of his family of legit trolls with clubs, warts, pink wings, purple teeth, 4 and a half ears, and sparkly purple horns. All he has is 4 nipples. They shunned him." ~Mikkeron 3/18/2015
"Rule #1: Worship Paul." ~DarkRainyKnight 3/19/2015
"Lvl 65 is the max that Kong shows. Paul is lvl 63. Is like 'I'm almost awesome, but I forgot'" ~Solprovider 3/27/2015
"I'm glad you asked, the plague was actually linked to 4th century clowns who ate cheese-wiz. So if you stay away from unicycles you shouldn't get the flu." ~Racecorp 4/7/2015
"The children are dead. The penguins did it." ~Cubicon 5/6/2015
"Paul can make any slap into a spank." ~Mikkeron 5/13/2015
"My taco... It's ready!" ~Greppin 6/1/2015
"I have science tits." ~Greppin 6/1/2015
"It's all like BANGSHWOOOSH. DEAD CHILD." ~Mikkeron 6/21/2015
"I'm offensive and I find that black." ~icanpee123 6/23/2015
"I'm really only interested in the corpses..." ~Greppin 7/8/2015
"'Dear sir. Please be aware that as per our discussion yesterday, I have absconded with your muffins by way of a strangely-shaped aardvark. Good day.'" ~Cubicon 7/23/2015
"Paul and I have been an item since the Bronze Age, actually." ~FrozenCereal 8/9/2015


And now for something completely different.
This random section of this profile is dedicated to:
We now return to your originally scheduled program.

Hi. I'm a novelist, singer, actor, contortionist, poet, animal rights activist, grammarian, shark wrestler, and other stuff. You can recognize me by my various catchphrases, all of which are copyrighted:
"Like a walrus!"
"The Paulverizer, the one and only."
"You just got Bedazzled."
"...and it turns out it was Phyllis Diller."
"I will eat your face and slap you with a mongoose."
"I am a pretty princess!"
"I don't judge. I leave judging to the judges. I'm just the executioner."

Maybe more later.

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