Scorpiany

I started off as most others do. Trapped in a Clam Shell, at the bottom of the ocean. My supply of Sulfuric Acid was running low. I knew that if I didn’t escape, it would be the end of all pizza-kind. I had to do something. I had remembered I had purchased some spiders over the internet the day before. They were allergic to any kind of web, and all arachnids though…. so whenever I took one out of the Uranium Jar I had, they exploded into a pile of smiling goo. It was creepy. Too creepy. But I knew I had to get out. That Clam had just eaten a Kelp Patty, and boy we all know what happens then. PVWOOSH. Such an awful smell. It almost made me want to breathe air again. The Clam’s stomach troubles gave me the small window of opportunity I needed to escape. But the window was small. I had ordered a 50" x 65" window, but the contractors ended up bringing me a 20″ × 23.1415926535....″ window. But despite the hard fit (you know, with the octopus and all), I managed to get up to the surface.

And then, I woke up.

The thing is, I still find that octopus climbing around my windows, so I sometimes wonder how much of that was a dream….