So you think I’m a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn’t respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born?
Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it’s not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no upholstery, no gas, and six more payments. To fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I’ll never play football like I thought I would. I’ll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I’ll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I’m not a loser.
Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who’ll never be what he wanted to be, is out there, being what we don’t want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven’t put a gun in my mouth, makes me a winner!
 "ShootMePlenty")