The only reason I bother clicking on MMOs is to see what technological advancements have been made in the field of garbage. This game deserves some sort of medal for not even fitting in its own window.
Drop a fly into a fishbowl, use kelp to steer it into a mollusk shell from which a finger will poke the fly, making it glow so it can be fed to a fish that then disintegrates into a key. When a game makes this much sense, why even bother making a walkthrough? Also, YTF does this game run SO SLOWLY?
I hate Flipline for constantly reskinning this mediocre game. I hate Kong for constantly giving badges and BotD to this mediocre series. Most of all, I hate myself for playing these mediocre games for badges and BotD.
At least it's not an energy-based cash-hole.
I guess I should thank the Unity team for not making a Linux-compatible plugin. If I were given the opportunity, I'd surely suffer through this energy-based non-game and many, many exactly like it just to earn the badges that Kong doesn't care we don't want.
Thank you, Unity, for ignoring Linux, and thank you, crappy pay-to-anything game devs for choosing Unity.
300 events. Only 9 different (using that word loosely) tracks. 5 event types, though Head to Head is just Race with only 1 opponent, and No Walls and Pickups Challenge are just variations of Time Trial. Money can ONLY be earned by picking it up on the tracks (none is awarded for winning) and Pickups Challenge has no cash on track, meaning it offers no incentive for playing. Failing a race gives the player a gold star anyway, meaning that victory and defeat are functionally identical (seriously, Pickup Challenge can be "beaten" by doing nothing for 10 seconds). The last unlock occurs only 1/3 of the way through the game. This game gets EVERYTHING wrong.
I'm solidly mediocre at platformers, but even I managed to ace that final wall-climb on my first try. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that most of this game's comments are complaints about the "rage quit" inducing wall. It really isn't hard at all.
This game's main sources of difficulty are: 1) The fact that homing rockets' targeting can't be prioritized, meaning I have to move my cursor from the bottom-right of the screen to destroy bombs and helicopters, which wastes lots of time because of the painfully slow turn speed of the weapons. 2) Motivating myself to repeatedly play the exact same sequence to gather the money to upgrade my vehicles to play just a little bit more of the exact same sequence to gather the money to upgrade my vehicles to play just a little bit more...
Also, without any descriptions (weapon dps, what different primary/secondary weapons do), the only way to tell if a vehicle is worth its price is to buy and upgrade it to match the levels of your current vehicles and compare.
At first I wondered how a game whose comments unanimously agree that this is a grindfest could have a 3.8 rating. Then I realized that the devs had the presence of mind to allow players to spend real money for upgrades in this flash game that no one would ever play beyond beating it once. The grind isn't a design flaw, it's an opportunity to allow the gamer (who the devs care so much about) to enjoy the game more by becoming financially involved. (You spend $35 on a flash game and you're really gonna wanna get your money's worth.) Good call, devs! 5/5, faved.
The intertwining of the stories doesn't quite work. For example, the fisherman storyline: years of success, retire, writer's block?, literary failure? The end only makes sense through the connected writer's storyline.
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