Streak566

Hello, fellow Kongregates!. I’m a junior in high shcool and, but let’s be honest: you don’t really give a shit about that. I own a Xbox 360, a Wii that I pretty much never play, and a PS3 that got the much feared Yellow Light of Death, which is the whole reason that I bought a 360. Curse you, Sony. Action/adventure and fantasy games are my forte, but give me pretty much any kind of game with a good plot that you can actually get into, like the Assassin’s Creed games (preordered Black Flag; hoping the story won’t totally bomb), and a happy boy you’ll have made of me. Of course, the same effect could be reached simply by tossing me a steak (hint, hint). Some of my favorite games include all of the Assassin’s Creed, Jak and Daxter, and Kingdom Hearts games. Except Re: Chain of Memories. The gameplay was just too damn irritating. I mean, cards? Seriously? And even though it’s maddening enough to have to pull a royal flush just to make an attempt at an attack while barely evading all those heartless, Square Enix seemed to find it even more hilarious to watch us squirm as we try to pull off ridiculously complicated card combinations. Well, fuck that, I’m just gonna watch a fucking “Let’s Play”. But I digress. I also like Halo, Infamous, and the Sly Cooper games, and once again I curse you Sony, for your shitty hardware has deprived me of Infamous 2 and Sly 4. Sonic the Hedgehog was, is, and always will be my favorite video game character. That being said, I have absolutely NOTHING against Mario and Nintendo. Hear that, fanboys and girls? You can put down your torches and pitchforks now. As a matter of fact, I think it’s a pretty damn good franchise, and I compliment them on their success so far. By the way, doesn’t anyone but me find the fact that Mario, being a human, rarely speaks more than two words in one sitting, while Sonic, being an animal, talks as often as possible, a little strange? Meh, maybe it’s just me. Anyway, I would like to say a few things to you guys that are saying that Sonic games are sucking A LOT lately: First of all, stop bitching about the dialogue. Right now. I mean it. It’s a franchise that’s meant for all ages, true, but its main demographic is children 8-12. Therefore, no matter how much you complain, the dialogue WILL be childish and it WILL be cheesy. I’ve learned to live with that, and if you can’t, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PLAY A DIFFERENT GAME. Second, the games aren’t really as bad as you guys say they are. That being said, I totally agree that Sonic 06 was a complete pile of steaming shit in every single aspect of the game. The gameplay sucked, the plot was totally cliche, the graphics looked like Iblis chewed them up and shit them out in a gigantic wad of crap, the load times took fucking FOREVER, and when the characters moved, they looked like they had a ten-foot pole stuck up their asses. However, Sonic Unleashed actually wasn’t that bad, although the night stages sucked more than a bucket of ticks. Chip was pretty annoying as well, and (spoiler alert) I saw him turning out to be Light Gaia in the end from a mile away. But other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed the game. Secret Rings was pretty good too, although nowhere near as good as Unleashed; although, I can’t say much for Black Knight. I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t problem with the sword. Actually, I’ve been wanting Sonic to have some kind of weapon for a long time now, and a sword was a good fit; the fact that it talked, though, was a bit much. But it was the shitty gameplay that I mostly had a problem with. Although, if the game was made for the Kinect, I’m sure that would’ve made a big difference. Generations looks pretty promising based on the demo that I played, and I look forward to playing soon. Well, that’s me. And it only took you two weeks to read it all! That’s a new record! Aw, who am I kidding, you didn’t read this shit. Meh, whatever. Laters!