Xxkarate

A conversation I had one night with customer support while doing homework. Me in a nutshell.

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Fleshlight Customer Service: Hello, thanks for contacting Fleshlight Customer Service. How can I help you today?

Patrick Lione: Hello, I was wondering by what % would I be projected to improve my overall sexual performance if I were to partake in purchasing one of your invaluable items that is advertised to make a person better in the area of sexual performance and duration?

Fleshlight Customer Service: there’s no way to determine that % wise

Patrick Lione: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Patrick Lione: I don’t think someone could pay me enough to do your job, you probably put up with this crap all day.

Patrick Lione: That’s just too funny.

Patrick Lione: I love you.

Patrick Lione: :(. You make me sad when you don’t respond.

Patrick Lione: This is demoralizing, after this conversation I no longer have the will to purchase one of your delicious products

Patrick Lione: D:

Patrick Lione: Do they come in a variety of crunchy and soft-shells?

Patrick Lione: Maybe various flavors?

Patrick Lione: I enjoy celery. I don’t suppose you have a variety of crunchy-celery-sexenhancing-fleshlights, do you?

Patrick Lione: That would just be too perfect.

Patrick Lione: Too perfect like your beautiful mind that is being displayed by your words that you type.

Patrick Lione: Isn’t there some sort of automated good-bye that you have for me?

Patrick Lione: Customer service usually has something like that for individuals like me :(.

Patrick Lione: I’m such a misunderstood person.

Patrick Lione: Perhaps you can help me with your superior knowledge of devices that are designed to enhance my sexual performance?

Patrick Lione: If only you would type.

Patrick Lione: Do you get people like this often?

Patrick Lione: Is it interesting for you?

Patrick Lione: To see what the next person who has no life has to say?

Patrick Lione: In case you’re wondering, I’m currently working on English homework. I’m writing an outline for a paper I’m going to have to write.

Patrick Lione: Though I must say that I would much rather be using one of your products at the current time.

Patrick Lione: Well then, mister “I’m so much better than you I’m not going to type anything at all to display my superiority to you”, I should focus on more pressing matters at hand.

Patrick Lione: I love you.

Patrick Lione: Goodbye, and may the force be with you.