bajingoes

i am trying to make my profile the longest, and i will beat severeflame one day, but for now heres a story: “one bright day, in the middle of the night, 2 dead men got up to fight, back to back they faced each other, drew there swords and shot each other” my brothers friend told me that, well, my brother told me it, but hes frien tol him it, so ill just say that my brothers frien told me it…what to say….what to say ok, ill tell you another story, one day i was playing super mario bros world 2, then i seen dis giant mushroom thingey, so i sed to this giant mushroom thingey “you look like a marrijuana plant, can i smoke you” then the giant mshroom plant thing that looked like marijuana sed “ummm, what type of question was that”then i sed “one that i want an answer for” so he ses “ok, well, heres your answer, ok” so i say “umm thanks” then i smoke him and go into happy land for the rest of my life" ok, heres another one, except this one was actually in a dream "i was lying in bed, then i heard an ambulence outside, the alarms woke me up, i sec “probably someone next door” so i try to fall back asleep, then a doctor and a nurse break down the door of my room and the doctor says to me “how do you feel” and i say “i feel fine” so he saqys “oh no! hes dillusional” then he runs over to my bed, rips open my shirt and my chest (the body part, that is) and says “yep, hes got the heart disease” then i say “how do you know, doc” and he says “your heart just ran out” and then he points to my broken down door, and there is my heart and it had arms and legs, then it ran out of my house, but then, it peeps its head back into my bedroom like its forgotten something, then it runs up to me and kicks me inn the balls, then it runs out into the ambulence and drives off, then the doctor says" errr, this is going to be a problem" lol, when i woke up, i told me brother, and he laughed so much. This guy goes to a bar that’s on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death.

However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself,and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies “It’s simple, really. There’s an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems.” Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! — made a mess hitting all over the ground.

Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says “Superman, you can be a real -—— when you’re drunk!” so, enough stories, heres some stuff about me: im a dude, im only a kid though, i like funny things and people like weird al yankovic and my friends jacob and trayvond, my favourite song is youre pitiful, by weird al yankovic, it is a parody of a song called youre beautiful, by james blunt, have you noticed yet that im not capitalizing names, i only just did, also, there is barely any periods in this bit of writing, i really have nothing else to say except that i like pizza because pizza is yummy, i also like pizza because it has baked beans in it, and i like baked beans because they have cows in them, and they make you fart, i like cows because they make plastic, and i like plastic because it makes australia and i like australia because it has milk in it, and i like cereal because cereal has milk in it, so i like lots of thing so all i say is, i probably like you, so talk to me!!!!!!!!