irock18

My Anoresong: irock the Provencal, king of all that entwines itself in sheets, referencing gutteral screams as thread is pulled across the teeth. The worm caught on the hook knows his glare, twice burned by the scorches of the sun. Dust gathers in his absence,sent scattering like shards of glass across ice. Lustful tongues utter his name in sleep, though it is loneliness that drives the muscles to flex. todbot1: Hm... Actually the battery might be dead. Can't get it out though. Rensworth: Vibrator problems, tod? --- Rensworth: I was drinking my tea, so it was a little blurred when I read EP's username. But that's still no excuse for reading it as ExtendedPorno. ThomasMarik: Now with 300% more cum! --------------------------------------------------- VDOgamez: Fly, duck! *Throws dick at people* -------------------------------------------------- Rensworth: Yeah, no. I don't cover my sensitive areas in chocolate and submerge them in hot tea. ------------------------------------------------- Rensworth: 90% of this site's demographic is composed of idiots who congealed in a gutter. What do you expect? -------------------------------------------------- Sariana: Capitals are important, it's the difference between helping your uncle Jack off the horse and helping your uncle jack off the horse. -------------------------------------------------- [09:02 PM] RaceBandit: Yo momma's so perfect, Yo Momma jokes went out of style before she was born! --------------------------------------------------- [09:46 PM] Naesala: Halloween, the only holiday you can dress like a slutty nurse and noone judges you, even if youre an obese man. --------------------------------------------------- [12:02 AM] Spes: now I'm hearing "follow the yello brick rod" in my head, in those munchkin voices. --------------------------------------------------- [01:27 PM] worish: Back and hornier than a hornet --------------------------------------------------- [10:09 PM] Spes: Santa has the gift that keeps on giving. [10:09 PM] guffawer: I'll jinlge Santa's bell any day. I guess it'll have to be a white Christmas. OHOHOHOHOHO. --------------------------------------------------- [10:11 PM] guffawer: Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana; Jack got high and dropped his fly, and said "Jill do you wanna?"; Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun; but silly Jill, forgot her pill, and now they have a son. [10:11 PM] guffawer: That's how I learnt it. --------------------------------------------------- [07:40 PM] worish: Damn it...Do they really have to laugh like demented hyenas on speed the WHOLE night?! --------------------------------------------------- [08:53 PM] Naesala: I can hardly breath [08:53 PM] irock18: Why's that? [08:53 PM] irock18: Does my sexiness take your breath away bby? ;) [08:54 PM] irock18: That was a bit late... [08:54 PM] Spes: everyday, rocky [08:54 PM] Spes: I mean...err... --------------------------------------------------- [04:39 PM] Brumz: STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT CHAINS AND WHIPS EXCITE ME!! --------------------------------------------------- [06:58 PM] guffawer: "Grandson, there were wild times back in 'Nam." "Grandpa, you were in the war?!" "What? No. I meant your grandma." --------------------------------------------------- [02:01 AM] TechSmurf: I like to think we operate on a higher level than most other chats. --------------------------------------------------- [12:11 AM] TechSmurf: It's nice that we reside in a chat room where we can go from meeting someone to hearing about their vagina in ten minutes. --------------------------------------------------- [11:05 PM] RaceBandit: Dildo used HARDEN... okay, I'm outta here because I'm tired. Goodnight. --------------------------------------------------- [04:02 PM] Rensworth: it's just not the received pronunciation/queen's english/standard english/poshy mcposhy snobby toff you're used to hearing --------------------------------------------------- [01:28 AM] ownthezombies: I see a volcano every day of my life [01:28 AM] ownthezombies: It's weird [01:28 AM] ownthezombies: YOu know what else is weird? [01:28 AM] ownthezombies: Realizing the fact that you're on a ****ing island in the middle of the ocean [01:28 AM] ownthezombies: Paranoid as **** sometimes --------------------------------------------------- [12:35 AM] Memorystick: daddy, why is your secretary sitting on your lap? -------------------------------------------------- 01:29 PM] Cat_Master: SAVE YOURSELF!! [01:30 PM] irock18: SAVE YOURSELF?! *jumps out the window* Ahhhh! [01:30 PM] Cat_Master: Hitler the deck! [01:30 PM] irock18: That's funny because Brumz is German. [01:31 PM] Brumz: **** off. [01:31 PM] MrLazyEyes: Quick! Hiel the sails! [01:31 PM] Cat_Master: Apple is racist. Sorry Brumz. [01:31 PM] Brumz: I'M DUTCH YOU ****HEADS. --------------------------------------------------- Ahhh Gales... Gotta love story time with him There's a story to how I got ma' name, pull up a chair. I was sleeping one day, out there in yonder food store. Suddenly, BAM I was thrown into a fight, with a Gizzard. Now I know what y'all be thinkin'. "A gizard, surely?" I tell y'all, it was no Gizard, t'was a Gizzard. A Giant G shaped Gimpy lookin' thang. With two zebra's for arms. By golly, my nutsack hit the floor faster than you can say antidisestablishmentarianlism. Then that limey bastar' gone and stood on it! Sure enough, my nutsack was penetrated from a stray, rusty, lonely littl' ol' nail, sittin' thar on the floor. BOOM! Before I knew it, Ah was indeed, infected. Puss was oozin' out right naow, and by golly, that Gizzard gone and got dissolved by my juices! I was certain it was a trick, so I ran over to that fizzy puddle and drank it aawwwwll up. The animals came out, on their hind legs, and from that day aown, I been known for mah deeds, as Giant Genital Gales. --------------------------------------------------- [05:37 PM] Gales: Cool, has everyone turned hillbilly after that story? --------------------------------------------------- [08:04 PM] TechSmurf: I like a man who daydreams about being suplexed. --------------------------------------------------- [11:51 PM] Wolfie1999_: dang it who divided by zero? i have a sinkhole in my living room! --------------------------------------------------- (Warning, I literally just made this crap up as I went a long. It is not supposed to be serious at all.) So there I was, stuck in the jungles of 'Nam. I got nothing but the clothes on my back and my combat knife. I was surrounded by Charlie deep undercover in the middle of the Vietcong base camp. I sat there for days on end. Too long to count. Just waiting for an officer to come in so I can complete my mission to assassinate him and free the POWs. I was found out after many days of hiding. Damn Charlie’s had dogs. They tied my arms to a big stick and dropped me in an animal waste pond up to my neck. After a week in there they pulled me out to be interrogated. They tied me to a metal bed frame hooked up to a car battery. Damn Charlie’s are crafty bastards. Every time I wouldn't answer a question they cranked the battery up a notch. Finally, the Russians came in. General Alexei Romanov of the USSR was supplying the Vietcong. Knew it all along but I never had proof until now. General Romanov continued asking me questions. I can't betray my country. I didn't say a word to the Russian bastard. After the last question he turned the battery all the way up then heated a combat knife to red hot. He asked me one more question before cutting across my chest searing the flesh while cutting deep. I screamed in pain. Finally, they left me hoping I would be more willing to answer questions in the morning. Using the strength built into me over years of hard physical training, I broke through the thin wires holding my wrist and feet to the bed frame. But, as soon as I got to where the POW's were kept, they saw me. I ran back into the jungle. With Charlie hot on my back firing round from their AK's. Several hit me. One in the back, one in the arm, one in the thigh, and one in the ass. It didn't matter I just kept running. I finally found a river with a fisherman in a boat. Needless to say, I kicked the fisherman out of the boat into the water and started paddling for my life. After about a mile of paddling I thought I was safe. Turned out, I was damn wrong. There was a loud roaring noise that I knew could only be one thing. A ****ing waterfall. I went over the waterfall with my small boat and must have hit my head on the way down. Next thing I remember I'm in a huey heading back to the base. When I get back to the base my commanding officer tell me my missions over... I told him it's never over until all the POW's are freed. Then my commanding officer shot me in the back as I was walking back out... So I went back into the jungles of nam after healing up with a navy seal buddy of mine called Bubba. We go back to the camp where I knew there were POW's and we released them. On the way back to the evac point we got trapped in an ambush. It went all Costa Rica on our asses. Out of the 30 POWS only 3 survived. When we finally got out of the ambush we hit a field of land mines. Bubba took the worst hit of all. He took three land mines. What's left of him isn't even recognizable. It just looked like a mass of raw bleeding flesh. You couldn't tell where the wounds ended and his uninjured parts began. I took a landmine to the leg. Blew my damn leg off. But god damn it, I kept going. Hoping on one foot out of the field of landmines while bleeding like hell. We finally made it to the LZ and into the chopper. On the way back to base we took a RPG to the chopper. We were lucky to make it back to base in one piece.