uberpenguin's Comments

Game Comments
Play Mastermind: World Conquerer Mastermind: World Conquerer May. 06, 2015
This game needs to be updated for the modern day; nowadays we ensure equal opportunity employment. As such, the lack of female and/or black minions would surely not be looked kindly upon by the powers that be...although now that I've blown up earth I guess the human population in the universe is 100% the mastermind, so the mastermind is providing equality to 100% of people, and thus it's equal opportunity. See, blowing up the earth really does solve all your problems!
Play Five Nights at Freddy's 2 Five Nights at Freddy's 2 May. 06, 2015
Idk, is the maker assuming we've played the other games? Because I can't make heads or tails out of what the hell I'm supposed to be doing here. I sit there, sit through the somewhat hard to hear intro every damn time ya play since you just have to refresh every time (and relying on voice without any kind of repeatedly re-readable instruction is a shortcut to failure...although I think I can hear him and still can't figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do). As far as I can tell I can turn on lights and change cameras, which great, lets me know a few seconds before I die, but then I, ya know, die. And can't seem to do anything about it. If I wanted to watch scary things kill people in a way I can easily see coming with no ability to intervene I'd watch a badly written horror movie. Give us some actual damned written instruction here.
Play 'Til Cows Tear Us Apart 'Til Cows Tear Us Apart May. 01, 2015
Man, wow agent. Way to preemptively steal my comment. I don't appreciate people secretly hiding in my room stealing my comments...watching my manly body when I remove my clothing...probably doing all kinds of foul things while I'm not watching...dirty things indeed...
Play 'Til Cows Tear Us Apart 'Til Cows Tear Us Apart May. 01, 2015
Interracial space lesbian outlaws stealing and transporting cows to be used on a far away planet for sexual purposes? Well, I can absolutely give points for originality in that story, that's for sure...
Play Antumbra Antumbra Apr. 27, 2015
Oh, and the old lady says the dungeon monster can be killed. Is she lying to me? Cause I can't seem to make that happen. An achievement guide might also be cool, just throwing that out there.
Developer response from Irbis

Well as of now - yes, she lied ^^ Thats actually a leftover. The game supposed to be 10 times bigger. But I couldnt afford to make it bigger :( So i just had to brute-close some paths. Grandma speech is one of those sealed paths. In the original - the bos could also be saved.

Play Antumbra Antumbra Apr. 27, 2015
Good stuff. +1 stars for jesus getting eaten. Never liked that guy.
Play A Matter of Caos: Episode 3 A Matter of Caos: Episode 3 Apr. 23, 2015
Oh, right, but I forgot faust and lee know each other personally, so lee would know if he was getting it on with his own boss who was also a woman. Ok, so nvm, faust is the lucky guy who's homies or siblings or something with lord malaguard who's mist's sister who's boning lee who wants to kill fausts snuggle bunny there and that's why malaguard paid Mr. Tentacle guy to find her and why malaguard knows so much and has so much money. Not nearly as much fun or rich in girl on girl action as the last hypothesis, but still, tentacle guy has nothing on me. And the fact I care at all is a really good indication regarding the quality of the story.
Developer response from ExperaGameStudio

I can't answer seriously now because of the tears! YOU FOUND OUT THE TRUTH but you just forgot about the incest part, and the fact that in reality MR. GILBERT IS FAUTS who suffers of a rare case of amnesia; also he is transexual and, with a wig, he IS also DAPHNE! Good job Holmes, now we can all go home u.u

Play A Matter of Caos: Episode 3 A Matter of Caos: Episode 3 Apr. 23, 2015
I'm calling it now; faust and the lucky guy are the same people. Their identities have been keep simultaneously secret for too long, it pretty much has to turn out that way. Then there's something about mist and being lucky...maybe secretly the lucky guy is actually a girl, who is also mist, who is also faust, and daphne is a hot lesbian which is why all the guys are so obsessed with her. I think I've solved it. Case closed.
Developer response from ExperaGameStudio

OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T TELL PEOPLE AROUND! XD BTW your guess is so AWESOME we'll consider it as a possible finale!

Play Decision 3 Decision 3 Apr. 15, 2015
Yeah, the black screen thing seriously happens, eh, I'd say with about 20% frequency, so 20% of the time that I try to go into a new level or I fail a current level the thing freezes up on a black screen and I have to refresh. Oh, and guys, there is a melee weapon, it just takes forever to get it as it comes from the second last inspector guy. However it's the only melee weapon, and I'd say the reason it's so far down is A) it hits like a truck, and B) you get 250% reward, same as for standard melee kills, so after you get it money quickly becomes no longer an object. I've always thought using reward percentages as an incentive to use lighter weapons was always a silly idea, and that's an example of why.
Play Pool Live Pro Pool Live Pro Apr. 14, 2015
...I think I'm going to go get plastered and play the guitar or something real to fight off the wave of depression that just washed over me. I really like pool, I could think about getting my life together and making some money and moving to the city and playing some real pool with some real people. Maybe go to a bar and impress the ladies with my skills. But no, here I sit in my boxers staring at a flash pool game online. I think I need help. Someone help me. Please.
Play BroForce BroForce Apr. 14, 2015
K, that was pretty awesome, bro. Only thing I might say is that the blade bro is out of place. The game obviously wasn't designed for just using melee; pretty much whenever I'd randomly get him I'd think "well, looks like I'm screwed." His special should be, like, a shuriken with infinite ammo or something, like indiana bro's whip has, and certainly not just another melee attack. I don't know, just something that isn't going to invariably get you blown up constantly. And maybe a little better instruction; did y'all know that you can sprint by double tapping directional keys (really helps if you've blown stuff up 3/4 of the level and need more mobility getting around)? That you can flip over propane tank things that are standing up to shoot them on either horizontal? That you can climb faster by holding/repeatedly hitting the melee button? And that's just some of the stuff I found, heaven only knows how much is actually in there that I never figured out.
Play Royal Squad Royal Squad Apr. 13, 2015
K, 12 is a little absurd. Making it so that you lose because a bunch of random assholes die is ridiculous. I don't need them there, I'd rather use my own warriors, but no, they have to stand there and make it so that I can't use a portion of my skills because if they die I lose. That's especially god damned stupid because they WALK UP to the enemies and stand amongst them. If my winning is contingent on them not dying, then they should do their best not to die. The reason normal warriors walk up to enemies is because they can die (or not die, as the story states) as much as they want. If they hurt my lives they aren't so expendable. Right, then there's the set up of 12: since 2/3 of the mages depend on distance, and enemies come from both sides and you can't set where mages are, who knows who they can hit and who they can't? I get the need to make the last level special, but don't go overboard and wind up just screwing everything up in an attempt to make it so.
Developer response from platon_skedow

What a complete different impressions. Some guys say lvl12 was way too easy, and others blame it for being hard as hell :) What can I say... Unlock as much stars as you can, and try to stop enemies before they can reach your troops. Hope this will help.

Play Royal Squad Royal Squad Apr. 12, 2015
Omg, a game on the hot new games list that isn't an idle game! I can actually play instead of just sitting there letting it play itself! How novel!
Play Decision 3 Decision 3 Apr. 09, 2015
Yeah, the whole recruiting thing is a pain in the ass, especially once teammates get pointlessly spread around to different camps...but more so, wow I'm sick of it already being tough to pick up teammates and then having them constantly do stupid bullshit during missions and end up dying if you add them to your team. Could someone explain to me perhaps why it is that invulnerable people who follow you like builder guys run away from zombies, but ones who can die like engineers and citizens go "Herp a DERRRRP!" and run up to hordes of zombies so they can start trying to punch them? Or maybe getting picked off by zombies before you can get to them, or specifically hanging around explosives so you can accidentally blow them up? This game seems to have improved very little and mostly forced a bunch of frills down our throat that just piss people off. I know it's tough to improve the decision games, but there are ways, and I'd name a few if the character limits in comments weren't so tiny.
Play Brain Builder Brain Builder Apr. 09, 2015
I completely disagree with kidhate. Yes, yes there are ones that are completely chance, specifically the sunshine and squares games. Unless your shortcut somehow involves unraveling the programming itself, it's freaking stupid to say there's any kind of shortcut when the correct answer is often simply not available. I mean, idk, for a logic game you'd think that something as logical as realizing using correct answer/time as a means of measuring success is a very poor idea when the maximum number of possible correct answers over a set period of time is random and thus can potentially be lower than the required number correct for maximum rating. I mean, to a certain extent the whole thing is a little random being as sometimes there are much more obviously correct answers available, but at least that part is unavoidable.
Play Creepo's Tales 2 Creepo's Tales 2 Apr. 07, 2015
Yeah, idk, this felt even shorter than usual...but at least it's not another god damned idle game, so that's a plus in my book.
Play Slim World Slim World Apr. 04, 2015
I'm going to lose my mind if this crap with the idle games doesn't stop.
Play Holyday City Holyday City Apr. 03, 2015
No, atombender, do you know what sucks? Almost 50% of the "games" on the hot new games list being these faux game bullshit idle games. Why does it matter at what rate your whatever goes up? All that happens at the end is that it all restarts, and all highscores are based on is who's willing to spend the most time playing. Is this a product of the modern world? That not only can't people be bothered engaging in real activities, but that a lot of people would prefer to not even have to play games themselves, they'd rather just distill the "fill a bar so you can fill another longer bar so you can fill an even longer bar. Repeat to infinity" addiction/game model down to something that just fills the bars themselves so they can convince themselves they've done something? May I recommend just cutting to the chase and taking up doing drugs if all you want is something to make you feel good with as little input on your part as possible?
Play The Power Of Love The Power Of Love Apr. 01, 2015
"You've destroyed my home and now I get to live in a crappy little cottage with you a short distance away from the ruins of what was once my tower which still happens to contain my father's rotting corpse...I love you!"
Play April Fools 2015 Learn to Fly 3 April Fools 2015 Learn to Fly 3 Apr. 01, 2015
Man, don't abuse our love of learn to fly. Or my love of penguins.
Developer response from light_bringer777

I can only promise to not abuse penguins. Besides that no one is safe. That came out wrong.