uberpenguin's Comments

Game Comments
Play Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher Apr. 06, 2014
Ah, but...ahem...*nonsense!* That conclusion is almost the same as the idea that morality is subjective! If there's no perfect answer to where morality comes from (even though that's a recursive answer. It disproves itself, being as the answer would be that there is no answer) yet morality exists, it means it's up to the individual to decide what's right in their mind. I mean, that's easy to prove; i.e. I think doing drugs isn't immoral, lots of ppl think it is. Boom, just that one example shows a rift between ideals and makes it un-debatable; it is fact that morality is subjective. Morality comes from different places depending on the person; it could come from any of the places listed in this game. That's wholly up to each individual based upon their own view of the world. Protagoras was right yo...
Play Submachine 9: the Temple Submachine 9: the Temple Apr. 03, 2014
Hm, this must have been a fair bit easier than usual. Not only did I only have to use a walkthrough only once, but I also managed to find all 5 secrets all on my own. Actually, that's not true, if it hadn't been for sniped18's comment I probably would've used the ladder rung in the same room and only found 4 secrets, but still pretty close to all on my own.
Play Road Of Fury Road Of Fury Apr. 02, 2014
Perhaps health should heal as a % per second, making higher HP somewhat more worthwhile? Then again everyone else seems to be fine rolling with just all trucks and relying on high HP to get them through; I ended the game with a stalker, boss, and rasputin (in that order) as I always felt much better with an energy shield as a safety blanket. Oh, and it would also be nice if we could get a description of special abilities when we roll over them regardless of whether or not we own a vehicle, seeing as special abilities would play a rather large role in one's purchase decision.
Play Animals - Home Free! Animals - Home Free! Dec. 07, 2013
Oh, I'm sorry, what actually happens then is that if you leave the level after it gets stuck, the chest will just disappear, be replaced by a honey pot, and you'll simply never get the creature you were supposed to.
Developer response from SmallIsBeautiful

Now fixed! Thanks a lot for the report uberpenguin.

Play Animals - Home Free! Animals - Home Free! Dec. 07, 2013
Glitch! If you get the last key for a level right as you fall asleep, the chest remains locked even though there's nothing locking it. It doesn't matter what you do afterwards, it refuses to open. Any gold keys you get just drop off the screen, and bees do nothing. That's a pretty disconcerting bug seeing as that not only means you wasted a bunch of time, but it also means you'll never be able to unlock that critter for the entire game.
Play Rock 'n' Risk Rock 'n' Risk Dec. 05, 2013
Well, it would be far more addicting if you took the very, very obvious step of putting in upgrades. I mean, movement speed, energy, maybe something a tad funky like combo protection that would allow you to screw up once without losing your combo, increases to the efficiency of your abilities...this thing is basically begging for upgrades.
Play Earn to Die 2012: Part 2 Earn to Die 2012: Part 2 Dec. 05, 2013
"Well guys, the protagonist of the game is here, I guess we can leave now. No sense in waiting around, there are no other characters". Aaaand...cue cliche zombie movie/game ending! Oh, and btw, I'm struggling to understand why, after a number of these games, literally every single one of which has people saying "Yo, there really needs to be a way to toggle guns on/off or something. Having them just shoot at everything and waste your ammo is pretty annoying.", there is still no way to toggle guns on/off. Actually that's a lie, I'm sure the reason why is because it would be difficult to implement something like that on the mobile version, but that's sort of a dumb reason.
Play Age of Defense Age of Defense Dec. 05, 2013
Jesus, I went from laughing the enemy off to totally incapable of defending myself/dead in the space of a single level. The one where phoenixes and centaurs show up to be specific...
Play Escape from Crystal Lake Escape from Crystal Lake Dec. 04, 2013
I've never seen any of the Friday the 13th movies, but from this I wonder what the big fuss is over Jason. Rather than beating the hell out of us as we stand there with a bat, he just kinda wanders back and forth. I mean, it wouldn't even take a regular dude 3 square punches on a totally stationary person to knock them out. Therefore, I'm forced to conclude that Jason is, in fact, far less scary than any person you'd meet walking around a city at night. Screw friday the 13th, call the movies "any night of the week" and cut costs by making them by literally just being white and walking into a rough section of the bronx at 3:00 AM. That would...actually be pretty scary come to think of it...
Play Johnny Rocketfingers 2 Johnny Rocketfingers 2 Dec. 03, 2013
Yeah, the ladies sometimes call me "rocketfingers", but in my case it's because the things I do to them are so incredibly hot that its almost like my hands have flames shooting out of them.
Play Arrival in hell 2 Arrival in hell 2 Dec. 03, 2013
Fallus, the 3rd monster can't speak? No, that idea doesn't make sense, that idea is pretty dumb. None of the monsters can speak. They make grunting noises. They aren't running in and having intellectual conversations with the characters before grotesquely mauling them, they're freaking monsters. Anyways, I'm kinda confused; this magda chick has a rifle right there. If she wanted our character to die, why wouldn't she just plug him right away, or at least as soon as he got back with her "insulin" rather than just sending him on pointless errands and hoping he'd die? It's not like there's any law in there, she could feel free to kill him if she wanted. It doesn't make much sense.
Play Dragon Rescue Dragon Rescue Dec. 03, 2013
Spiritually? Chyea, more like they're connected...sexually. Bow chick wow wow. Anyways, my nonsensical and unwarranted comment aside, we really need a hitbox here. I have no damned clue where we get hit and where we don't, the box is just kinda chillin' somewhere in the middle. I guess it's probably over where my mouse is, but that really doesn't help very much.
Play Lost Outpost Lost Outpost Dec. 02, 2013
Pretty good. Manages to be surprisingly ule creepy despite being in the 3rd person, something I ule thought would be difficult. Strangely enough my family has noticed that ule ule I've been awfully irritable and quick to anger since I finished playing ule, but I'm sure it's just a coincidence...
Play Downhill OMG 2 Downhill OMG 2 Nov. 28, 2013
I'm somewhat confused by what exactly the high speed zone is. In the past my brushes with it seem to basically just involve a message randomly showing up telling me I'm in the high speed zone, then a few seconds later another one telling me about the zone dropping out. I have no idea what any of this is supposed to do or mean, and unfortunately I kinda have to if I want to get all the achievements seeing as one of the achievements has you needing to spend 10 friggin' minutes in the high speed zone when I've never been able to for more than a few seconds...
Play Downhill OMG 2 Downhill OMG 2 Nov. 26, 2013
Dude, yetis are really glitchy. The problem is that their attempts to match your speed often end in disaster. Seriously, just give them a set speed, or make multiple kinds of yetis and give each a set speed, and stick with that. There's no way to try to match them to your speed that isn't going to ultimately screw up everything.
Developer response from zornifried

yeti's have been completely changed with today's update

Play King's Rider King's Rider Nov. 26, 2013
Looks like this could've potentially been inspired by hippolyta...except that game's character totes had naked titties, which was pretty sweet. You can tell it's fictional because while I've never owned a set of boobies myself, I'm pretty sure that riding a horse with no support would end in disaster. Or at least very sore boobs, and very sore boobs can't be played with, so that would be disastrous in its own right. That's besides the point right now though. Regardless of any flaws here I couldn't see that ending and rate it any less than a 3, so there ya go.
Play Mana Chronicles Mana Chronicles Nov. 26, 2013
Ok, the thing with enemies just randomly not taking damage is annoying enough that it pretty much ruins the game for me. I get so, so sick of battles that shouldn't be that hard getting drawn out or even turning into losses because one of those boss units spawn up and don't actually take any damage, so they just kinda saunter up and kill off all my units as we pound away and deal out many, many times the amount it would usually take to kill off the boss, just hoping that the game eventually snaps out of it and the thing starts taking damage again. The execution of this game is so freaking clumsy and sloppy and poorly balanced with a side order of terrible english that it's impossible to actually play and enjoy, which is unfortunate because the idea behind it is pretty good and I normally really like match 3 games.
Play Chu Rescue 2 Chu Rescue 2 Nov. 22, 2013
Ok, it looks like you're supposed get the guy to land AND cut down a certain percentage of ice, so that the water rises above the line...and how the hell were we supposed to figure that out? There is absolutely no logical connection between melting the ice and raising the water level...
Play Chu Rescue 2 Chu Rescue 2 Nov. 22, 2013
What the hell is even the goal? On level one you randomly cut some ice apart and pass with no rhyme or reason to it, on the second level I think "Oh, ok, the goal is to get the guy in the ice to the ground"...except then I got to level 3, get the guy to the ground, and nothing happens. It just sits there. I find it really hard to believe that this game legitimately made it to 3.8 without any sort of underhanded crap, as it kinda makes it tough to actually play a game when it never even comes close to instructing you what the f*ck you're supposed to do. We get some random nonsensical little videos that don't explain anything whatsoever aside from extremely simple stuff we could've easily figured out on our own.
Play Stormy Castle Stormy Castle Nov. 22, 2013
Idk, it's far too easy to wind up just sitting there with maxed buildings and neither side progressing. What do you even do at that point? I mean, if the game is designed so that you and your opponent max about equally, I'm not entirely sure how it wouldn't have been abundantly clear what an issue that would be long before the game was actually released...