DarknessConsumes

I support the Walrus, and I’m a fan of the state Wisconsin. Standing at 6′3″ I’m closer to seven feet tall than I am to four feet; so you could say I have a good chance of being the tallest midget you’re ever going to meet. On dark nights I can shoot lasers out of my eyes to defend myself against vampire, ghouls and robots. Having laser eyes also makes it easier to quick cook hot pockets in a snacking emergency. I have a voice that brushes against your skin like a stripper covered in velvet. I’ve been the interspecies wrestling champion for three years. I won the title by fighting both an alligator and big foot in a barbed wire steel cage match. The Pope attended the match and sat in the front row…..