Draganasa's messages

So what does a person who thinks they are a waste of space do, well…
They troll websites, be a bully irl, emotional abuse loved ones, threaten to kys, threaten to burn schools down, bounce from institutions here or social programs there, you know something to get back at the hand you have been dealt and what your doing with it when others have been dealt worse. One day I met my love and I treat her with the worst of my antics because I couldn’t believe I deserved her and I isolated myself until college because I didn’t want to hurt anyone else. But one day when I was trolling a chatroom and ran out of alts so I use my main, someone called me “cool” and “probably someone awesome in real life” and my mind went back to all the friends I had in real life and they were always entertained with my personality. That was one awaking it didn’t end there. Then in college I met my best friends and I wonder, am I really as terrible as I claim to be. Am I even lazy, my peers in college think I’m the smartest person they met. That was another awaking.

The Final awaking was when I had to write 1 essay for one class. It could be on anything I wanted. I always wanted to be a writer and tell everyone my stories but my condition conflicted with my goals. I couldn’t write it, no surprise there but maybe it is. The college I went is (in)famous for being the college where underachievers and slackers go to transfer to better colleges. I always thought I was one of them but I looked at their mannerisms and actions. They don’t care, if I didn’t I won’t be typing one of the longest things I typed in a while. How can this be, my entire mindset before now is completely false and is based on nothing but low self-esteem.

Turns out, I have ADHD, or something similar I didn’t go to a psychologist to check, and I can write if I do speech to text. I have been lied to by institutions, teachers and my own parents. I’m not dumb, or mentally deficient, or lazy I lacked confidence.

For you trolls or people who were in a similar situation to me ask yourself is it really me, most people who have some sense of personal responsibility always blame themselves when push comes to shove. “Why would I blame some else? What you you think I am? A neet?” No, it’s the right thing when things go bad to look at your own actions before you assume it was an outside force but sometimes it is because of an outside force. That doesn’t mean you don’t take responsibility and wait for the thing to fix itself, it means you can overcome it and still achieve greatness. And it’s okay to have problems when you have it better, remember this. EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS! Yes everyone, whatever they are big or small. But everyone can overcome them and achieve greatness.

For my piece of greatness I’m going to make a game in the future and I might turn my alt @SmartAI who was originally just another troll account into an actual AI game player.

Peace out.