FREAKANATOR

i live in a completely different world.a world where i have to look behind my shoulder every 5 seconds.a world where survival of the fittest is the only rule that applies.and where the darkness controls my life,hellbent on pure aggression and destruction.and enflamed rage and violence.to take a life just to protect your own.where god curses my life amd banishes me to walk among these people as a tortured soul never to see the light of heaven.i did not choose to be this.all is as god wills it.every night i run across the city rooftops and roar with every pound of anger to the skies challenging god himself.and demanding why has he done this to me?as i struggle to hide my screams with laughter i try to cage my anger with steadiness,and camoflage my pain with joy.my blood is poisoned with anger and my tears are marked with hate.my nightmares lurk in the darkness of my eyes.and my fears,imprinted to my memory.every scar i have has a story to tell.i run through the rooftops at night and as the darkness surrounds me it gives me the uneasy sense of not being alone.tears stream down my face and freeze on my cheeks.my heart was ripped out my soul was taken and my life been thrown away.they say it is fear that makes a man,but it is pure fear that destroys him.i have experienced things that as it seems to curse my eyes for the rest of my godforesaken life.so much fear that has been imprinted to my memory and makes my dreams nightmares.i close my eyes and so many days go by.i have cried till the very soul has died.my skin pale and my eyes black as hell.i cry tears that immediatly turn into frost.i scream and throw myself willingly into a violent frenzy. i carry a unimaginable burden to destroy my life as well as others.left for dead i struggle to find a reason to keep getting up every time i fall.why?why do i do it?i am far out of gods grace.everytime i try to run from my nightmare the violence of my life always finds a way back to me.my eyes burn with the very fires of hell.thrown at the wolves to die.but i survived though i am no better than the beasts who done this to me.i have lost the warm feeling of the touch of love.the thought of joy.and the kiss of a reason to care.the world has given up on me as i have.my soul has been shut down so hard i was not able to connect with my feelings.though with such mad hope there still might be a chance to change.i live in a world where to live you must convert to become a nightmare.a world that destroys the very soul.a world where you are thrown far from grace.a world where even angels fear to tread.