SilverCitrus' messages

HERES A GUIDE TO BE ANNOYING. * Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ‘’like it that way.’’ * Drum on every available surface. * Sing the Batman theme incessantly. * Staple papers in the middle of the page. * Ask 800 operators for dates. * Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings. * Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks. * Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. * Specify that your drive-through order is ‘’to go.’’ * Set alarms for random times. * Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. * Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. * Honk and wave to strangers. * Dress only in clothes colored Hunter’s Orange. * Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. * Tape pieces of ‘’Sweating to the Oldies’’ over climactic parts of rental movies. * Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register. * ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. * only type in lowercase. * dont use any punctuation either. * Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. * Pay for your dinner with pennies. * Repeat everything someone says, as a question. * Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ‘’Do you hear that?’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’Never mind, it’s gone now.‘’ * Light road flares on a birthday cake. * Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. * Leave tips in Bolivian currency. * Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. * At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. * As much as possible, skip rather than walk. * Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read. * Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. * Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. * Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. * Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce ‘’No, wait, I messed it up!’’ and repeat. * Drive half a block. * Name your dog ‘’Dog.’’ * Ask people what gender they are. * Reply to everything someone says with ’’That’s what YOU think.‘’ * Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. * Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ’’real hoot’’. * Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off ‘’in case the big one comes’‘. * Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. * Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers’ brains, such as ‘’Feliz Navidad’‘, the Archies’ ’’Sugar’’ or the Mr. Rogers theme song. * While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. * Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. * Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. * Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. * Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. * Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. * Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed. * Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. * Wear a LOT of cologne. * Ask to ’’interface’’ with someone. * Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your ‘’superior mental processing.’’ * Sing along at the opera. * Mow your lawn with scissors. * At a golf tournament, chant ‘’swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!’’ * Finish all your sentences with the words ‘’in accordance with prophesy.’’ * Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme. * Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ‘’psychological profiles.’’ * Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ‘’magic picture’‘. * Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. * Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. * Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment. * Never make eye contact. * Never break eye contact. *Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. * Construct elaborate ‘’crop circles’’ in your front lawn. * Construct your own pretend ’’tricorder’’ and ’’scan’’ people with it, announcing the results. * Give a play-by-play account of a person’s every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. * Holler random numbers while someone is counting. * Make appointments for the 31st of September. * Invite lots of people to other people’s parties. * Steal all the napkins at resturaunts *show less