SociopathicEY

Guys, I’m starting to think that I’m not actually clever.
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There once was a man who loved to eat spaghetti. He loved to eat spaghetti so much that he would eat it everyday for dinner.
But for the first time in the man’s life he asked the most beautiful woman that he had ever met to dinner with him. She gladly accepted his offer.
The man began to prepare the dinner table and was deciding on how he would prepare the spaghetti; he ended up going for classic.

The doorbell rang; it was her. The man began to become anxious. He answered the door. “C-Come in.” He said. She smiled and sat at the table.
The man was beginning to sweat. He didn’t know what he should say to her, he was nervous. He asked her how was the weather. She said “It was fine”.

She saw that he was shaking visibly. She asked him if he was alright. The man remembered that he was still cooking the spaghetti.
The man bolted up from his chair and told her that he forgot about dinner. He had gone to the kitchen and saw that he had overcooked the noodles, he became upset, he was about to burst into tears.
He thought that he will just put a little bit more sauce on the noodles and that she won’t notice; he would.

He came out of the kitchen with the two plates full of spaghetti.
The man tripped on his shoelace carelessly and spilled both plates of spaghetti all over himself. His date began to giggle, this made the man begin to cry.
Suddenly the whole room began to shake, they thought it was an earthquake, the ceiling blew off to reveal… The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The man and his date were stunned, they couldn’t believe that they were seeing could actually be real. The Flying Spaghetti Monster spoke; he was displeased. “Young man, I have watched you over the years indulge in eating spaghetti night after night.”
“It made me smile to think that someone like you could love spaghetti as much as you do.” The man began to smile. “But then you became distracted from enjoying spaghetti by thinking about the puss and ended up dropping the spaghetti all over yourself.”
“I have decided to give you something that you will not soon forget.”

The man’s pockets began to feel squishy, they were filling up with spaghetti. Spaghetti was pouring from the man’s pockets. The man was confused, he didn’t know what was happening.
“Every time you look at or think of a beautiful woman of your standards, spaghetti will pour from your pockets to keep you from any other distractions again” The man was cursed to walk the Earth never being able to look at another woman again without spaghetti pouring from his pants.
The man couldn’t be happier.

The End.
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