Storageheater's Comments

I've played it for about a week, and I really want to like it, but that brutally limited inventory makes it feel like tons of stuff is wasted and I can't be bothered to manage skill levelling like that. I feel like I'm bouncing off it before I had a chance to really settle in, but I'd love to come back to it down the line.

I love the instant respawn, the controls feel exactly right, well done! I think it needs to unlock a few levels at a time, or maybe have collectables - ideally players should have other things they can do to keep them engaged if they hit a brick wall, otherwise they just leave. I like the idea of the sword but I'm not sure it's adding enough right now, it's fun to kill things above you, and insanely risky to kill things anywhere else. Even the addition of a scoreboard would give more incentive to kill things, otherwise it's best if you just avoid everything. There's a few levels where killing the enemies is useful and feels right, like solving a little puzzle, but I can't tell you which they are because there's no information onscreen about anything. I wish it looked a little more stylish. The sound's fine - personally I'd just add a single mute option, but more options always looks fancier, perhaps there are even people out there who really just want isolated sound effects.

You never know what ability you'll have from one level to the next, because you have cancer. Sometimes you will double-jump, sometimes there will be two of you. In the sense that it's about ploughing through endless, slow grey days with nothing to look forward to but sleep or death, I think it's achieved its goal of portraying a terminal illness.

I can't believe the developer made 25% of the stats useless. Also was the bit where the chieftan was cold and unwelcoming cut out? Because he was fanfared as such, and he apologises for being unkind, but he's never actually unkind

Lol, suddenly everyone on my friend list is asking why I've invited them to play this. Add to its many bugs, "Will invite everyone you know without your consent" Avoiiiiiid

There are so many layers of currency bought by real cash, and so many buttons that lead you to pages where you can spend freely, there is barely room for the game (and I'm blaming Kong as much here for their Kreds, a brilliant way to make players lose track of how much a dollar is worth.) Of course players don't need to donate - Farmville hired psychologists to make their game as naggingly addictive as possible, and at its peak earned a million dollars a day - but only 10% of its playerbase ever paid. I'm sure somewhere buried in the development is someone with a delightful idea but what we ended up with was designed purely to squeeze cold hard cash out of kids. There's so very little game for our money here.

the "amazing listener" achievement should be an impossible

I really liked most of the puzzles, but I felt the last few steps were a let down.

I died to a boss that I couldn't kill, and now the game is broken. What a mess.

Did you know it was available on the App Store and Google Play? It really is. You should tell the player more often, I don't think it's clear enough.

A valid point but a terrible idea - still at least it's poorly made. Has none of the charm of genre classics such as "A game about dressing up cats as historical characters" or "Secret Beauty: Tammy."

Why yes, I did know I could get this on mobile, but thanks for adding even more popups telling me about it instead of fixing pacifist mode

"buy below 33, sell above 66" is more reliable advice than what the Insider Trading perk offers.

"Why can't I jump, is it broken" are not very positive opening thoughts. "What, I have to wait for a tutorial? This is dumb" are not very positive second thoughts. You don't want players to be thinking this, surely?

1/5 because there's no one handed mode, essential for all porn games

There isn't a whole lot to do after the first day. I know it's an idle game but I'm really just waiting for my monster to die now.

Reaching the "end" and then having to go back and pump a load of levels into the old heroes to make the game give you Hero Souls before you reset gets pretty old.

Offline's broken for me too

I really wish the dark matter showed a number, I would LOVE to know how it just overpowers everything while having "exactly the same resources." I don't find it much fun to play against.

I wouldn't mind a wipe so long as you bring multi-buy in at the same time. Good lord I've done a lot of clicking, and I'm not prepared to do that again.