ThatOtherGuy

UPDATE 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra: September 30, 2015
Apparently chat is working for me, again. Who knows how long this’ll last…
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UPDATE 2: Snake’s Revenge: August 24, 2015
Unfortunately, due to Kong procedural quirks, browser choice, an old computer, a completely unnecessary router “upgrade”, or some combination of the four, Kong has been very diligent about disconnecting me approximately every 90 seconds; making the prospect of participating in chat completely unfeasible.
I’ll still be here, though; so feel free to leave shouts or private messages.
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UPDATE: July 4, 2014
Hey there, anyone who remembers me! My ancestors weren’t killed by clumsy time-travelers after all.
I’ve been spending my time turing with my band; rocking faces!
…By which I mean I’ve been using a slingshot to pelt people in the face with small stones as a test to see whether or not they were robots. The results were 4997 “negatives” and 3 “inconclusives”. (As well as 16 “lawsuits”.)
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According to the paperback of More Information Than You Require, I will be the 87th US President.
My Motto: “Weird = good”
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Non-Kong game recommendations:
Elona (rogue-like)
Battle for Wesnoth (tactics)
Iji (action).
All are downloads and free. You can probably find the D/L links by searching jayisgames.com
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Obligatory Quotes Section:
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Social media is just the market’s answer to a generation that demanded to perform. So the market said, “Here, perform everything to each other all the time for no reason.” It’s prison, it’s horrific.
-Bo Burnham₁
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Being a horror fan is kind of like panning for gold in a river of s―t.
-Thom Carnell<sub>2</sub>
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People aren’t chocolates. You know what they are, mostly? B―–―ds.
B―–―d-coated b―–―ds with b―–―d filling. But I don’t find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
-Dr. Perry Cox₃
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Never ignore a coincidence… unless you’re busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence.
-The Eleventh Doctor<sub>4</sub>
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This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973, when Ali faced an 80-foot-tall, mechanical Joe Frazier. M-my memory’s not what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.
-George Foreman₅
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People say our intense love of bunnies is creepy at our age, but history will prove them to be heartless b―–―ds.
-Burton Guster<sub>6</sub>
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We have 250 million manchildren figuring out what makes them a d―k and celebrating it, and nobody growing up and not being a d―k anymore.
-Dan Harmon₇
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Biting’s excellent. It’s like kissing, only there’s a winner.
-Idris<sub>8</sub>
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Oreos won’t fix Iron Man 3. That movie was double stuffed full of plot holes!
-Chad James₉
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I never lie when I’ve got sand in my shoes.
-Geordi La Forge<sub>10</sub>
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Food is tricky. Like, milk starts out good, then it becomes bad. Then it becomes disgusting. Then it becomes dangerous. Then it becomes cheese.
-Demitri Martin₁₁
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What’s Neil deGrasse Tyson like? Uh, he is as soft as a unicorn and as smart as a million bumble bees!
-Eugene Mirman<sub>12</sub>
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The SAT’s are culturally biased. That’s why I got high and drove a snowmobile through a mall instead of taking them.
-Taco MacArthur₁₃
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I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said: “You have reached the end of your free trial membership at Benjamin-Franklin-Quotes.com”
-Mr. Peanutbutter<sub>14</sub>
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Please explain to me the scientific nature of “the whammy”.
-Dana Scully₁₅
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You know, you remind me of myself at a young age. All I cared about was riding narwhales and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking babies’ tears…
-Sheogorath<sub>16</sub>
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Are you under the impression that family’s supposed to make you feel good? Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They’re supposed to make you miserable! That’s why they’re family!
-Bobby Singer₁₇
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My administration will be all about transparency, hot dog wieners of unusual lengths, and gladiatorial justice.
-Shawn Spencer<sub>18</sub>
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Never trust a hug. It’s just a way to hide your face.
-The Twelfth Doctor₁₉
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♫ I make references to weaponry/ Ancient or new/ I wear bulletproof vests/ For no apparent reason/ Other than to create a false sense of importance/ Of which I could never retain on my own/ I like to create a buffer memory/ Of incredulity/ So y’all motherf―kers/ Can never get near to me/ I’m a cartoon character/ You’ll never be able to be like me ♫
-Reggie Watts<sub>20</sub>
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The only thing I’m better at than f―king women is pretending I’m gay.
-Tony Wonder₂₁
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¹Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016)
²I Heart Monster Movies (2012)
³Scrubs Ep. 407 “My Common Enemy”
⁴Doctor Who Ep. 512 “The Pandorica Opens”
⁵Futurama Ep. 212 “Raging Bender”
⁶Psych Ep. 411 “Thrill Seekers and Hell Raisers”
⁷Harmontown (2014)
⁸Doctor Who Ep.604 “The Doctor’s Wife”
⁹Death Battle Cast Sudden Death 05-12-17
¹⁰Star Trek: TNG Ep. 307 “The Enemy”
¹¹Demitri Martin Live (at the time) (2015)
¹²Eugene Mirman: Vegan on His Way to the Complain Store (2015)
¹³The League Ep. 405 “Judge MacArthur”
¹⁴BoJack Horseman Ep. 205 “Chickens”
¹⁵The X-Files Ep. 317 “Pusher”
¹⁶Skyrim (2011)
¹⁷Supernatural Ep. 422 “Lucifer Rising”
¹⁸Psych Ep. 710 “The Santa Barbarian Candidate”
¹⁹Doctor Who Ep. 812 “Death in Heaven”
²⁰“F―k S―t Stack” by Reggie Watts (as featured in Reggie Watts: Why S―t So Crazy? (2010))
²¹Arrested Development Ep. 411 “A New Attitude”