TheArmoredGamer

Greetings, mortal. You have come across the profile of the (in)famous TheArmoredGamer (or TAG as I’m frequently called). You may refer to me as Ares or the previous two. As you can tell I am a Gamer first and foremost.

Eulogy given to my dearest friend, Common Sense. He will be missed.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved friend, Common Sense. No one remembers how old he was as his records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered having cultivated valuable lessons as why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple financial policies “Don’t spend more then you earn” and reliable parenting guides “adults, not children are in charge”. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intended but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. He lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined further when schools required parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion, or a stick plaster to a student but could not inform the parent when a student became pregnant and wished for an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little on her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was followed in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.