A huge thank you to the person who picked the image for the Don't Crap Your Pants badge. I finished this game before badges and jumped out of my seat at that. Now I can relive the wonderful memories when I come back for my badges (read: have nightmares again).
For the fourth mission - speed up your mana regen, maybe increase the power of your spells. I maxed my arrow spell and upgraded mana regen twice, then I upgraded my characters to the best of my ability. (This took a bit of grinding, but it wasn't bad.) Then I had some archers and a few fighters take out the first rows/waves and then used my arrow spell whenever the large enemy got too close. I took some hits, but I won and the next few missions were easy.
Is Cantering just a useless upgrade? After the first 25 points I sunk into it I thought the edges on my elephant were rounder, but after getting 50 Charisma and putting it all towards cuteness I saw no difference.
I really appreciate weird little games, and the novel multilayered concept of this one is good. However, the controls, while they inject the game with a semblance of realism and make the sperm flow beautifully, are a little tedious to maneu - oh forget it, I'm talking like a wine critic about a game with a murderous cowboy riding a giant sperm. SPERM.
This game is a lot like Toxers, which I believe is made by the same people. Creative, infuriating misseing attacks (but they seem proportionate now, so good job), really nice upgrades, a kind of funny-cool ending. Definitely worth playing through.
This reminds me of the WarioWare video games, where you have a simple minigame with one-word instructions and you only have a few seconds to do it, and it gets faster and faster and the music gets more climactic . . . I loved those games and I love this one too, 5/5.
I hate tower defense games. If I get a whiff of tower defense from a game, I will not touch it. But this, I played all the way through and throughly enjoyed. By the end I was seriously tapping my feet with power and excitement watching this thing. 5/5 material.
"Would you rather be covered in spiders, or be homeless?" "I'd rather be homeless." "Not only would you be homeless, you would be covered in spiders." That's a really good incentive to convert phobias, I have to say. But seriously, I really like the game.
To get the hard badge, make sure you actually get asked to do the things before you do them, e.g. talk to the dog before you give back the briefcase. I've gotta replay it now, but it's a good game so that's fine.
I didn't get what the other commenters were talking about with the Frag Bomb until I figured out to buy the two weapon slots and equip it in all three. LOVE.
 "Clarence's Big Chance"){kind=icon}
 "I Love You 2 - Revisited"){kind=icon}
 "Enough Plumbers"){kind=icon}
 "Upgrade Complete 2"){kind=icon}
 "My Little Army"){kind=icon}
 "Space is Key"){kind=icon}
 "Elephant Quest"){kind=icon}
 "Seed of Destruction"){kind=icon}
 "Fade"){kind=icon}
 "The Legend of the Golden Robot"){kind=icon}
 "Frantic 2"){kind=icon}
 "Man in Gap"){kind=icon}
 "I Am An Insane Rogue AI"){kind=icon}
 "Defend your Honor!"){kind=icon}
 "- Music in Motion -"){kind=icon}
 "Phobiaphobiaphobia"){kind=icon}
 "A Small Favor"){kind=icon}
 "Notebook Wars"){kind=icon}
 "Love"){kind=icon}