Zinkdeh

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but theres no freaking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why cant paper do this to people? Why arent sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes? I’ll tell you why, because paper cant beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. That way when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I thought your paper would protect you, you asshole.”