I was born during the war of the Roses to an alchemist who was trying to turn penguins into gold. Although the experiment failed, a weapon for the Rosicrucian army was developed with the plan of being used against the Cyanocrucian army (Which would later become the Salvation Army).
In the climatic battle that ensued, it was discovered that an extra-dimensional super fiend was behind the war, Napoleon had come to claim the Earth. With the help of his sidekick Jefferson Davis, the world was at the mercy f the smelly outer dimensional French army. While this was going on, I, the penguin, was given a serum by Abraham Lincoln which gave me the powers of drunken rage, thus I became the Angry Penguin. I then learned that Napoleon had turned the wizards of the south against the machinist guild of the north in a land called America, against one another. If I was to stop the sorcerous Jefferson Davis and ultimately the super-dimensional traveller Napoleon, I would have to travel to America.
It took nearly two months to get there from England, and many a battle with a robotic Hitler before I saw the shores of North Dakota. The rest is history.
 "angrypenguin")