axolotl

I was raised by white wolves on a deserted island not far off the coast of Alaska. There I befriended the cormorants and also fought and feasted on the flesh of an entire high school class who gradually went wild after their plane was downed nearby.
When I was 18, my wolf parents sent me off to boarding school. I thought everyone there was phony, so I took off and had a torrid affair with an older married woman. I told her stories about how I used to play catch in the fields with my little brother wolf, Alda.
Currently, I am working in Antarctica on a top secret project with the dinosaurs still living in the McMurdo Valleys. Well, actually, all we have right now are giant dragonflies. We are breeding them and training them so that they will be large enough and able to snatch humans into their talons and dash them against spiky rocks. Currently, our only successes are with small dogs and raccoons, but soon we will use the prehistoric dragonflies to take over the world!