I started freaking out when I heard this: "If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds away from death."
What I don't get is that you have the choice to go to a party but don't drink, but eventually you are forced to "Have a few drinks with your friend one night."
You know how he can catch baseballs? He can also catch grenades. Make sure he catches the first grenade he ever sees. You probably know what happens, it's pretty funny.
Person: President Madagascar, President Madagascar! PM: Yes? Person: A man in the US coughed in front of his television set. PM: O SHI-, SHUT DOWN THE DOCKS! KILL THE RATS! HUNT THE INSECTS! Person2: President Greenland, President Greenland! PG: Yes? Person2: Half our population has become infected, mindless, unhealthy zombies! The rest of the world has been completely wiped out! PG: Whatever, go away. Spongebob is on.
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