I think that if you get your level over 9000, they should send you a Tristan Plushie Toy to snuggle at bedtime. And he should have a real sword. And have a string in the back that when you pull it, he says up to 20 different action phrases.
I cannot stress this enough: Alucard33592, you are a genius sir. I'm hoping this game holds a special place in your heart. I can see you poured its contents into creating it.