This beautiful work of art must be considered among the pantheon of modern gaming masterpieces. Portal, Shadow of the Colossus--all these fall short to the majesty and magic of Avoid Cactus! My life was changed by this game. As soon as I beat it, I kissed my crush, bid farewell to my yet unborn children, and left for a life of adventure, in search of cactuses and avoiding them. Ah, avoiding cactuses. What is avoidance? Ever since the Ancient Greeks wrote epic poems on the subject, we as humans have lusted after lofty achievements in the arts, sports, warfare, and the like. All that now falls before the mighty philosophical meaning of Avoid Cactus! Avoid thy cactus. Cactuses and only cactuses. I give this game a well-deserved 5/5 stars, though truly it deserves 5000/5! Needs badges, though.
Hangman: "You shoot a ƒucking flaming arrow in my neck!"
Me: "Hey, atleast I saved you."
Hangman: "But I need a hospital, immediately!"
Me: "Nah, you just rest there for a bit while I shoot some vultures and sheep."
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