insanecee

The day I was born I had hair on my chest, it was a mane of epic proportions, Austin Powers was jealous of that shit. At 13, my nickname was The Human Tripod. I was a superhero, the centrifugal force of my dick being swung in a circle allowed me the powers to fly, it deflected bullets. At 16, I was dunking basketballs, no problem, picked me up a fisher-price hoop and was straight schooling fools. At 18, I smoked rocks, I ate talking about crack, I am talking about limestone, quartz, marble, don’t take that shit for granite, that’s how I got these rock hard abs. At 21, I had my first beer, in fact that night I had like 15-20 O’douls, didn’t even feel that shit. At 23, I delivered my child single-handedly, because my other hand was whooping fools asses in Halo. Now I am 26, balding, 2 beers fuck me up but god damn can I drive better after about 6-7 beers.