killmage

im a nerd with to much time basically. yep that raps me up…

NEW ZEALAND is where its at, and the next person to say “aah new zealand… hmm i kno that place its were lotr was filmed or ooh the land of cheese is gonna get fucked up”

you know you’re a nerd like me when:
1. you realise you can touch type and recite all the keys of the keyboard in order
2. you look at the clock to find its 5:00 am
3.you play /played more than 20 online games ( non flash pay for games)

some of my joke collection:
a kindergarten teacher was telling the story of the three little pigs, and was up to the straw house part “please farmer, may i have soem of your straw to build a house” then the teacher put the book down and asked one of her kids “what do you think the farmers response was?”
the kid said “HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIG!”

a guy loses his wife in a frea kscuba diving accident and the police asked him to come in as they have bad news good news and great news, ray asks for the bad news first, “we rfound her at the bottom of rosalie bay” said the cop “well, what coukd possibly be good news then?” ray asked the cop said “we found 2 great crayfish and and a dozen crabs on her!”
“cool, then what is the great news!” said ray getting excited, “Were gonna put her back down tommorrow!”

a man calls home to tell her wife that he is comign home early today and to get the bed ready, and his son awnsers the phone, he says " is mummy there son?" the son replies “no shes in bed” “ooh is she sick” said the dad
“no shes in bedwith the butcher…” “well son, go and get my shotgun from the garage and shoot the mboth!” 5 mins later he kid comes back after a loud bang i heard on the phone," good work son now go and drag the bodys into the compost heap i dug on the weekend" 10 mins later the kid comes back pantng but says " i did it dad, but i got some blood on me" dad says " go and swim around in the pool for a bit " there was a fast response “we dont have a pool dad” then the dad slowly said “wait is this 868 8484… OH SHIT”

88888888888888888888888888888888888 8888888888888888888888888___8888888 888888888888888888888888_____888888 88888___8888888888888888_____888888 8888_____888888888888888_____888888 8888_____888888888888888_____888888 8888_____888888888888888_____888888 8888_____888888888888888_____888888 8888_____88____888____88_____888888 8888_____8______8______8_____888888 8888_____8______8______8_____888888 8888_____8______8______8_____888888 8888_____8______8______8_____888888 8888_____8____888888888888888888888 88_8_____8___88________________8888 88_8_____8__88__________________888 88__888888888_________888________88 88_________88_______8___________888 88____________8888888____________88 888_____________88_______________88 888_______________88_____________88 8888______________8_____________888 8888_______________8___________8888
888888_____________8__________88888

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