Today's top news headlines:
Bomb goes off in 4th grade classroom.
Man jumps off building with bomb attached.
Kitty stuck in tree becomes explosive mine.
Guy gets ketchup for his bro, flowers and a drink for his honey, and a baseball for his son.
Kid accidentally sticks bomb to chandelier. Mother's last words: "You're Grounded."
Needs badges. Now, I know there will be you comment trolls who say "It gets badges by rating." Well, the rating is above 4.10, the required rating. Oi, Greg, give Anti-Idle badges. Please!
Little Girl: Mommy, who is that strange naked fat man smoking a cigar on our roof? Mommy: Oh, that's just Santa. He's come to bring you a present! Little Girl: ...