pureadd

The world is filled with mean people who will rip your faults apart. I am one of them. I joined the devil about last year, and I get death benefits, health insurance, and occasionally a damn good meal with the beast himself.

I am like this because I literally have only five things to hold onto, my two feet and my two arms. Oh, and my life. Sorry, to make it so obvious. Don’t kill me or I will haunt you by spamming vomit in your face at random times in the day. So your sitting in the most important business meeting, the boss turns at the board then back at you and finds you totally disgusted because, you got vomit all over you. The boss jumps back. Then I will throw your chair out the window even if it takes 40 times. Then I will throw you out and kick you the whole way down while vomiting in your mouth.

I was born into Gluttony, where I rarely venture outside of. Here is a passage from the "Safari Guide for Morons Chasing the “Ian” with perfection":

With that safari guide whisper
“Here is the wild Ian, waits in his habitat; Gluttony, where he hangs with the wild Jew and face. As you can see, he frequently pokes Syithe with, what appears to be a dildo, but retreats as dachia attacks him. He watches out for Kit, who he misses dearly, I cannot know why. He sees the all-mighty Jerry and quickly straightens up. He pulls out his, oh never-mind, we will just skip that part, and now to the rest.” ~ Later that day ~
“You can see him eating his food, how it gets EVERYWHERE, he takes Cake WHICH ISN’T A LIE!, and eats some pie with his cake. He flings the yogurt, onto, what other 50-50 ceiling and his own face. He… Oh no, not again.”
_{Later at night}
“He sneaks into someones house but then goes out of the house. But then goes back in, then out, and in, and out, and in, and out, and oh, he is screwing with the house, wait wait, no whats that dildo doing up my ass?”

Hope you enjoyed it…