Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.