Hm, frankly I don't give a sod whether it's stolen or not, since I'm here to review it, not to rant at it, although you may find that hard to believe when I'm done. Yeah, the game, as a whole, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, how do cavemen have ultimate power over volcanoes, and why does that guy hold a cannon? How the hell did he kick a tank to death? Historical accuracy and logic in this game are basically 0. That's one negative. It's also quite dull, since you can get by just spamming the strongest units, until space age when you spam war machines until you get 4 ion cannons, then you just spam Super Soldiers. Another negative. It's also hardly fair. If I build four ion cannons I can, theoretically, just sit and wait for the computer to run out of money. That didn't happen. So the computer gets infinite money, evidently. Another negative.
Also, where's the sense of accomplishment? When I win, it just immediately snaps to a screen saying "You win". Since that's not a huge negative, I'll lump it together with the pathetic use of English. I'm not being racist here, it's alright to come from another country and so use English as a second language, but would it really kill you to get a spellchecker or something? So that's another negative. I don't think there are any more aspects of the game to talk about. It's dull, it doesn't make sense, there's no real achievement, the only decent thing is the sound and music, but if I want good sound and music I can just download it and scrap the game, so there's essentially nothing here for me to like. If you didn't see the 1/5 rating coming I'm surprised you're able to read.
Wow, nice ending.
Ohh, so very philosophical, do we truly posses free will? How would we know? Is it a bad thing if we don't? Is it a bad thing if we do?
Oh, and the game is really bloody funny, has some nice puzzles to it, and a very very good boss fight. And I like the music, too, for some reason...
You had me at particle accelerator. Then the menu started up and it was even more awesome. Then the intro sequence began, and it involved phrases like "photon saturation", and I loved it even more. Then the game started and... ehhh, wasn't as good as it all seemed, but was still excellent.
I kept going through it so I could see more big words. And it was still excellent, and the puzzles were very intriguing, but I'd have preferred this in full 3D with an actual person. I know that can't be done on flash so this still gets a 5/5, and I loved the ending.
What this is missing is a thoroughly awesome in-joke and a deranged robot voice. And cake.
Couple of problems, the ball found itself getting stuck occasionally, and I still don't get why some wormholes will rotate the ball's gravity and some won't, but they don't spoil it. EPIC WIN.
Hm, frankly I don't give a sod whether it's stolen or not, since I'm here to review it, not to rant at it, although you may find that hard to believe when I'm done.
Yeah, the game, as a whole, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, how do cavemen have ultimate power over volcanoes, and why does that guy hold a cannon? How the hell did he kick a tank to death? Historical accuracy and logic in this game are basically 0. That's one negative.
It's also quite dull, since you can get by just spamming the strongest units, until space age when you spam war machines until you get 4 ion cannons, then you just spam Super Soldiers. Another negative.
It's also hardly fair. If I build four ion cannons I can, theoretically, just sit and wait for the computer to run out of money. That didn't happen. So the computer gets infinite money, evidently. Another negative.
Also, where's the sense of accomplishment? When I win, it just immediately snaps to a screen saying "You win". Since that's not a huge negative, I'll lump it together with the pathetic use of English. I'm not being racist here, it's alright to come from another country and so use English as a second language, but would it really kill you to get a spellchecker or something? So that's another negative.
I don't think there are any more aspects of the game to talk about. It's dull, it doesn't make sense, there's no real achievement, the only decent thing is the sound and music, but if I want good sound and music I can just download it and scrap the game, so there's essentially nothing here for me to like. If you didn't see the 1/5 rating coming I'm surprised you're able to read.
"I know, let's make a game about a series of Rube Goldberg style contraptions which also features men being flung out of cannons!"
"Good idea!"
"Whoo!"
You've managed it. This is really silly and pretty damn good fun. Couple of glitches I ran into, and it's all too tempting to just fling an infinite number of people into a wall for cheap laughs, but it's fun none the less.
Well, that's annoying, I didn't even make it half way through, and it glitched and instantly removed all of my money when I tried that rope 'em game. It wasn't a particularly good game before that, I'm afraid, there were very few things that I actually liked about it.
I like this one because it hurts my head. Don't get me wrong here, I am a decent typist, it's just typing up an essay is completely different from typing a few thousand ninjas to death. It's possible to eat if you're typing up an essay, for one. Those telling everyone that this is too easy, then jack the difficulty up to hard and then try survival. Well made, and a lot better than QWERTY warriors. Worth around 4 stars, slightly less because it does seriously hurt after a bit, but it rounds up to 4.
So, let me get this straight, there's a game here about an emotionally unstable clown who wears inflatable trousers with explosives shoved down them, and then drives a car into a wall at a few hundred miles per hour, right?
AWESOME!
Well, you get so much for the simple concept it's difficult for me to give this anything less than 4 stars. It's fun and bizarre. Love it.
Would it be possible for the crits and misses to be rolled out for each part of a multi-shot attack? Example: Helene's Frenzied Strikes attack, which consists of 6 attacks for 7 dark magic damage each, with an accuracy of 90%. Currently, what will happen is either all of the strikes will hit, or all of the strikes will miss. What I'm proposing is that there is a 90% chance for each individual blow to strike and cause 7 damage, so it's possible for 5 out of the 6 frenzied strikes to hit.
Hm, interesting idea. It shows that the old Bejewelled build still has some things going for it. Linking it in with combat and strategy? I think you pulled it off.
It's a slightly cheesy storyline, with an interesting end, but what really kills this is the lack of any real RPG elements. It's pretty much impossible to get anywhere unless you clear the entire map, which means that I'm not really controlling the character, you are. It's also quite annoying how the target audience feels so young, which is a recurring theme in all the best puzzlers. None of the monsters actually look fearsome, compared with the awesome looking cards from Monsters' Den.
And what the bloody hell's the point in resting? I was looking forward to being able to buy new spells with that money, and create my own character, rather than yours.
I guess it's alright, but there are some huge flaws that need fixing. 3/5.
OK, this game wins my award for "most satisfying moment ever in a flash game". That one purple energy ball bouncing off everything, and that entire line of tanks smashing into each other until the last one whacks a wall and sends a chain reaction of explosions back along that same path. The whole thing is thoroughly excellent, and is probably what physicists do for cheap laughs. Call me a nerd, but even the mention of singularity implosions makes this game a win before I even play it. What makes things even better is the fact that you are blowing up tanks by throwing those tanks at more tanks, which is a concept that is just plain awesome.
I'd like to call out to other Kong users here, too. If you look in the bottom left of the menu screen, you'll see the sound control, a purple button and an orange button. If you press the purple button, the speaker changes, and there are 3 more different coloured buttons which, if you click enough times, start turning green and flashing. I've not yet managed to make them all green, but I'm sure something will happen. Anyone managed it yet?
Oh, that's beautiful. Utterly beautiful. In a sea of blood and shooting, you come in and give us a beautiful piece of music and the simplest concept I've seen since monochrome. It's just stunning.
Whenever things get too much for me, this will be the game I play. In that great void between it being time to sleep and me not being tired, this will be the game I play. When the world is ending outside my window, this will be the game that I play.
For those of you who don't get the implications of this review, this is worth 5 stars, and it had better get them.
Whilst it's clear that I hated Tactical Assassin 1, due to the fact that the game required almost no skill and was, essentially, about clicking buttons, I'm happy to say that this is at least slightly better.
OK, it's still about clicking buttons, but now there's gun wobble so it's harder to click buttons, and the buttons move, and will only move after other buttons are clicked. It's a point and click adventure game with gun wobble...
What I don't get is what was difficult about making a button clicking game. There must be something difficult, because you had no time for proofreading, and the buttons, when clicked, don't know that they're clicked.
I also don't get why we need different rifles. There are vague differences in RELOAD time, but if most missions require only one bullet, there really is no need to RELOAD. Nor do I get why we need two different types of bullet. Maybe different rifles need different bullets here, I don’t know, I’ve not bought them, buying anything other than the best one available is a waste of money.
And I also have a real gripe with the Satellite TV level. I'd have thought that a high powered sniper rifle, which can shoot through two people's skulls, would be able to shoot through some glass, some blinds, and possibly the back of a chair.
Better than it was, but still quite bad.
Excellent game. Very well made, but someone, somewhere hates me. I got 498 headshots as a record first time I played it. I left it for a bit and came back a few weeks later, and got 499 headshots.
That's annoying.
Also, how the hell do you have a second last stand?
Ehh, I'm nitpicking, hurry up with uploading Last Stand 2.
 "Age of War"){kind=icon}
 "Inquisitive Dave"){kind=icon}
 "The Kongregate Status Calculator"){kind=icon}
 "Epsilon"){kind=icon}
 "Age of War"){kind=icon}
 "RagDoll Cannon"){kind=icon}
 "Sundown Shootout"){kind=icon}
 "Typing Ninja Hunter"){kind=icon}
 "ButtonHunt 2"){kind=icon}
 "Captain Braidy 2"){kind=icon}
 "Kongai"){kind=icon}
 "Spellblazer"){kind=icon}
 "Momentum Missile Mayhem 2"){kind=icon}
 "Music Catch"){kind=icon}
 "Tactical Assassin 2"){kind=icon}
 "The Last Stand"){kind=icon}