This guy is the ultimate badass. His hand is bigger than his head and I bet his penis doesn't even fit in it. He takes boulders to the crotch and it doesn't even faze him. You give him a bracelet and a feather and he climbs diagonally up, swings across ceilings and, basically, will kick your ass inside out. He cut off his own legs because he didn't want Chuck Norris to have nightmares. He's Indiana flippin Jones, except 9001% more awesome. If you piss him off, you're fkin dead, kiddo.