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I wrote an Article on Kongregate and today it got published on Associated Content. Tell me what you think.
Thanks for the review. I do know what you mean, but I wasn’t trying to go too in depth. It meant it to be about 1000 words, it was 940 i think. If I had gone more in depth it wouldn’t have been appealing because it would have seemed like a chore to read. I respect your opinion of course, and I might ask around to see if someone agrees, then I will re-write it. Thanks again!
Can you link in that article? Because starting off with a web address is a little odd. Also, I took the liberty to edit your first paragraph to make it a little smoother and quicker to get into. I hope you don’t mind.
“[www.kongregate.com](http://www.kongregate.com) is revolutionizing the free online flash games environment. This is a website for any Joe Bloggs that wants to upload their games. This might make you think it would be an environment full of terrible three-second flash games, like the YouTube of flash games. But this website breaks away from sites like [www.addictinggames.com](http://www.addictinggames.com) and [www.armorgames.com](http://www.armorgames.com) with relatively simple yet revolutionary tactics.”
The first line and last line are great the way they are. It was just the bit in the middle that felt a bit rough. I did go a bit hack-and-slash on it, but then again, as a journalist I tend to do that by default :P
Thanks for the help Dabby. I was hoping that AC would help me get real writing advice from real journalists so apparently it worked. I wrote it too fast I suppose. I just read over it and saw “is” instead of “his” in the first paragraph! I do that all the time. And it probably was a bad idea to start with a URL.