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SquareOne Ego Inflation

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Hi, I know it has been a while since I posted an interview, but this one was requested by quite a few people in my family. Before I had Thanksgiving dinner, my Mom, my Grandma, my Aunts, my nieces, counsins, and female friends confronted me. I thought it was an intervention of some type, but I haven’t had a single Four Loko, much less two cases of Blueberry Lemonade XXX since this video scared me straight.

No, they and the rest of his e-chicks, wanted an answer. Why hadn’t I interviewed the coolest man on the internets, SquareOne?

That question can now be answered. Please don’t hurt me ladies of the world, My grandma was already hitting me with a rubber chicken because I hadn’t posted it this morning.





Your first day on Kongregate. Were you bored? Trying to impress a boy or girl with your 1337 flash gaming skills? How did you decide on your username, and what was the first game you played?

Well, when I first joined Kong (in the good ‘ol days of 2008), I was pretty much an underaged idiot. Luckily for me, though, my dashing good looks and fantastic personality got me pretty much all of the e-chicks.

I don’t really remember what my first game was, it might have been Hexiom; I’m not sure why, since I suck majorly at puzzle games.

My first notable account was XxAchillesxX, which more people are probably more familiar with. The name pretty much came from the name I had previously, but it was shortened. I made the username SquareOne because I realized I could probably increase my number of e-chicks tenfold with a cooler name, and I was right!

Obviously, you are not SqaureOne in real life(or maybe you are? O_o). Do you mind if I ask what your alter ego is, and where you live? (i.e. John Carter, I fought in the Civil War and now I like to jump around and hang out with the Princess of Mars. I am the Super Mario of Mars, but we call it Barsoom.)

I’m a highschool senior from a suburb of Albany, which is in upstate New York for people who didn’t know. Llife consists of waking up early, coming home, sleeping for absurd amounts of time, and doing homework all night! I also get to have days, every other day, where I get to come into school and do math non-stop until I go home. Hurray for scheduling! Other than that, I’m just your average, dashing young gent. Oh, and people generally tend to associate me with my hair, so there’s that.

What are your favorite games? Yes I am that lazy to not click on your favorite games on your profile. =] Why are they your favorites? Do you like a specific genre of game, does any aspect draw you to a game more than others?

Hmm, this is a pretty tough question to answer because I’ve played way too many games. No flash games come to mind, but Super Smash Brothers Melee is probably my favorite game, since I play it at a pretty serious level and it’s one of the only games that I don’t majorly suck at! I play it so I can boost my ego and make fun of people who are worse than me, because I’m a big jerk. I’m a pretty big fan of the fighting genre in general.

I’ve been playing a lot of Guild Wars 2 recently while I’ve had the time as well.

What kind of role do you see for yourself on Kongregate? (are you a big gamer, like to chat, hang out in the forums, all of the above…) What would you consider your biggest accomplishment(s) here, and talk about some of your history on the site.

I just consider myself an average user on kong. I don’t think I’m really that notable when it comes to the community haha. Sometimes I have to mod, though, so that’s poopy. :(

Do you socialize much on Kongregate? How do you like the chat rooms and forums? Any friends on here you want to give a shout-out?

I try to socialize as much as I can but most of the time I just forget that I have the tab open and end up idling because I’m a neglectful person. I like the chatrooms, none really in particular. Most people tend to be friendly with me as long as mutual respect exists.

You get a wish upon a star, what would it be?

I would wish for more e-chicks. There is nothing more important to me in life.

In Rbots by A10_com, you navigate the robot heads back to their bodies, so the robots can dance again. What game on Kongregate comes to mind for a story you enjoyed, or a story you would like to see on a Kongregate game?

There should be a story about me, I’m surprised there isn’t one yet.

Jetfart Zombie by KotobukiMedia is now on Kongregate. Does this raise the level for fart jokes, zombie games, or both?

Zombies have to fart too, man. If it comes out with the power of a jet engine, I say more power to ‘ya.

Have you played any of the top monthly games? Any opinions on these games or those you feel are left off the list?

Gaems suk

Design a badge(or badges) for games on Kongregate, or for yourself in real life(Sing Taylor Swift songs in Italian, hopscotch using only your hands, etc.)

I would design a badge for me being born, because that was the greatest thing that ever happened in my life that made everyone elses’ lives like, a bajillion times better. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so amazing (not really, though).

Which game on Kongregate has your favorite music, or what music do you listen to while gaming on Kong?

Giraffe Attack has the best music. I listen to NWA all day everyday; fuck the system.

Do you have anything you do for good luck, or habits while gaming? (I can’t be the only one that takes small bites of funyuns and wears them as hoop earrings for uber gaming good luck…)

For good luck in gaming, I usually dunk as many scrubs as possible. As for real life, I often find myself doing the same. Dunking is my life.

My sources tell me that Leonardo Dicaprio likes to play Dolphin Olympics 2 on Kongregate(source: INCEPTION). What other celebrity or person from your own life would you not be surprised plays games on Kongregate?

Nicolas Cage. Because he’s almost as cool as I am.

There is evidence that the Grand Canyon predates dinosaurs:
(Source: Apatite 4He/3He and (U-Th)/He Evidence for an Ancient Grand Canyon )

A few years ago, the body temperatures of three types of sauropods(DINOSAURS!!!) was accurately determined within one degree Celsius(Source: Dinosaur Body Temperatures Determined from Isotopic (13C-18O) Ordering in Fossil Biominerals ).

Did dinosaurs use the grand canyon as a place to throw music festivals and raves out in the desert, and
how close am I to getting a pet Camarasaurus, and we are to building Jurassic Park?

I’d say they probably did. The Grand Canyon has the potential to basically be the biggest, dopest party hub ever, but humans haven’t discovered that yet. If you look down and squint your eyes a lot you can see remnants of dino strobe lights and methamphetamine. You will never get a pet Camarasaurus. :(

Where do you stand on the issue of

hand placement while in deep thought? Finger on nose, or hand on chin(bonus smart points for beard)?
What are these people thinking?

I do have a beard currently, the beard stroke is the way to go.

Lonely girl in her 20’s: Should I pick my nose? No, too many witnesses.

Pedophile: pondering ways to get her in his van

 
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Thanks for a great interview SquareOne!

Originally posted by JesseMH8:


There is evidence that the Grand Canyon predates dinosaurs:
Apatite 4He/3He and (U-Th)/He Evidence for an Ancient Grand Canyon

A few years ago, the body temperatures of three types of sauropods(DINOSAURS!!!) was accurately determined within one degree Celsius(Source: Dinosaur Body Temperatures Determined from Isotopic (13C-18O) Ordering in Fossil Biominerals ).

Did dinosaurs use the grand canyon as a place to throw music festivals and raves out in the desert, and
how close am I to getting a pet Camarasaurus, and we are to building Jurassic Park?

I’d say they probably did. The Grand Canyon has the potential to basically be the biggest, dopest party hub ever, but humans haven’t discovered that yet. If you look down and squint your eyes a lot you can see remnants of dino strobe lights and methamphetamine. You will never get a pet Camarasaurus. :(

I wish I could have gone to dinosaur raves in the Grand Canyon. If I get a time machine, I will invite you to go to a Grand Canyon Dinosaur Rave and Skate Park festival along with my pet Camarasaurus(Ha!).

Are you still playing Guild Wars 2?

 
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Fail interview with the weirdest player on kong

 
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Originally posted by nukydel:

Fail interview with the weirdest player on kong

You’re supposed to sign up in the other thread nukydel. I’ll try not to do a fail interview, and don’t be so hard on yourself.

 
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Does someone else have block scheduling to!?!? About time, I think, someone has the awesome scheduling school can do!

 
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I wish I was as amazing as him :(

 
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I wont sign up for no interview

 
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Originally posted by nukydel:

I wont sign up for no interview

But it’s so fun being interviewed. All the wacky stuff you can answer with!

 
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If somebody insulted SquareOne, he’d be back to square one.

 
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I don’t think his ego really needed to be inflated. Great interview, nonetheless. Very humorous.

 
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Excellent interview! I’ve always wanted to stalk know more about the mysterious SquareOne.