[Dungeon Overlord] The Imperial Propagandist #1

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The Imperial Propagandist – Issue #1
Solace’s Only News Source

PUBLISHER’S NOTE
WindWard has long enjoyed the benefits of civilization, an oasis of culture and commerce on a rural continent filled with nothing but savages. Now that the Imperium will be bringing that glory to the rest of Solace, we are able to deliver what used to be called the WindWard Insider to remote regions under the new name, The Imperial Propagandist™. Scholars at the Academy Antiwiki predict that rural territories will soon have indoor goblin toilets and organized marketplaces in addition to newspapers. Hang in there, rural Overlords! You too might one day create a paradise like WindWard. Meanwhile, enjoy the news …

IMPERIUM FORMED!
Sick of lawlessness in the lands of Solace, Overlords rose up in protest demanding that Magnum Suited create an empire to rule over them. In yet another sign of their sweet and gentle natures, MS agreed only on the condition that CHAOS get to play at least some small role. After many diplomatic goblin journeys from WindWard to Angel Vale, the Imperial Treaty of Solace was ratified by both alliances and was received with rejoicing by nearly 2/3rds of the non-elf population of Solace. When asked for comment, Magnum Suited spokesman Gnostic Foulbreath would only reply, “You’re welcome.”

GENOCIDE IN DRAGONSPIRE!
Silderil, the CHAOS member who’s murderous rage in Dragonspire caused him to break away and become one half of Solace’s own “Team Rocket” alliance PWNED, has succeeded in eliminating nearly every other Overlord in his region and is shooting up the leaderboard at an astonishing rate. The rumor among the orcs, though, is that Silderil’s days as the Butcher of Dragonspire might soon come to end as Sir Str8piff, the Only Knight of CHAOS, has been sighted with his armies in the land. Str8piff grew up in Raven Gulch under the protection of Regent Magnitudium , but even the advantage of Imperial Magnum training hasn’t been enough to bring him a clean victory over the Butcher of Dragonspire. Overlords, get out your popcorn, this is going to be a slugfest!

SOLACE’S NEW MILLIONARES!
Where is Sharkhunter, and why haven’t his armies been on the march in days? He’s too busy teaching dark elves how to mine crystal and tan leather! Across Solace, reports are coming in of the first Solace millionaires. What’s their secret? Selling basic resources to boomtown communities appearing in what, for weeks, had been the quietest rural territories on Solace like High Mountain, Lush Valley, and Death March. Will Sharkhunter’s armies become fat and lazy from lack of battle? We don’t know. None of our reporters made it back after their interviews to provide the answer.

CARTOGRAPHERS CONFOUNDED!
After weeks of insisting that they could predict the patterns of immigration on Solace, cartographers in both WindWard and Angel Vale have finally admitted that they’ve been lying all along while trying to sound convincing. “We really have no idea where people will show up next,” admitted one cartographer before being rendered into a depressingly small amount of leather. “I mean, really! Who would want to live in DarkIsle? IT MAKES NO SENSE!” In related news, both Magnum Suited and Angel Vale announced job openings for new cartographers.

MEET YOUR MASTER: HIS LUSHNESS!
RyanScouseUK, founder of Ryan’s Reliable Mana Sparks, issued his first formal decree as the newly installed Imperial Regent of Lush Valley for CHAOS: henceforth, everyone must refer to him as “His Lushness”. According to Raven Gulch’s diplomats that attended the recent festivities, His Lushness has a fondness for the architecture of elven villages in flames and has promised “+15% happiness furniture for anyone who comes to visit me!” The Imperium is expecting great things from the Lushies under the rule of their new drunken Master.
 
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I’d like a yearly subscription please, when is the next issue?

 
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It should be available weekly at your neighborhood Dungeonville convienence store.

 
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Keep going GMD. Nice read!

 
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The Imperial Propagandist apologizes for misspelling Sildegil name. Perhaps if barbarians learned to ENUCIATE clearly …

 
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Originally posted by gmdclark:

The Imperial Propagandist apologizes for misspelling Sildegil name. Perhaps if barbarians learned to ENUCIATE clearly …

Why is monosyllable such a long word?

 
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how much does advertising cost?

say for a 100 words, or do you go by space? 2’ by 2’ for instance

 
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and awesome job GMD.

Agreed I am fat and lazy and all furniture. Sild come get me

 
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100 words seems like a very long advertisement, but we’re happy to make some kind of deal given the complete lack of journalism in southern Solace.

 
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I am a young member of the community but I think I have enough sense and enough orc balls to shout this out

The lack of journalism and rulership in Solace itself is a long story on its own. Obviously this is going to draw attention and people will demand to conquer entire lands for theirselves and pass it on as a ‘wish’.

However I do agree the journalism was a nice touch and does keep us informed, but what is the point of using an entire thread to converse whats happening to a certain group? Longstoryshort, this won’t end well but I suggest to keep up the good work.

 
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The scholars of the Academy of Antiwiki anticipated this response, as “demanding to conquer entire lands” was among the list of barbarian marketing opportunities for the Imperial Propagandist Subscription Brigade. We’ll be looking to meet that demand through a series of new features, including an advice column on conquering entire lands called “Sharkhunter Says It Is So!”, coverage of the lighter side of rural Solace with “Those CRAZY Barbarians! LOL!” and a monthly photospread called “The Women of the Wild Lands”. That should get us to a full 20% barbarian-focused coverage! We appreciate your feedback.

 
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My feedback was ment to be negative. The entire idea of conquering a land will only cause uproar and make the game too ‘barbaric’ to play for anyone thats not under protection. The whole thing should be dropped on advertising, at LEAST.

There will be problems soon and such actions shall be responsible for it. Nobody will fully submit and therefore there shall be much turmoil. But not from me, I will sit and watch

 
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There have only been two such examples in the history of Solace. The first was the extended war between Darker than Black and Magnum Suited: most of DtB’s good players are now part of our alliance. The second is the barbarian Sildergil slaughtering Dragonspire until it largely depopulated with players. Controlling is different than conquering.

 
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I don’t believe its much different.

Explain to me the difference between conquering people and spreading every last bit of news so that the game is no longer of secrecy and battle, but rather a TV show.

Explain to me the difference between controlling people to the point if they do not stay with you, they are slaughtered and then used as propoganda as a fear impulse.

 
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Letter to the Editor:

I very much enjoyed your article about the millionaires in Solace, it was very well written, but I can’t help but point out all the homeless and poor that you have so neglectfully overlooked. Why just yesterday, I was in someone’s dungeon trying to clean up and they had just crystal! And not a lot of it either! I myself am finding it a struggle to make my day to day paydays of my creatures, and beating them with nothing to show for it is such a bother! What can we do about all this? I hear there’s a migration to the new regions, but do these people learn nothing? Don’t they know that buying a dungeon on credit can only end in hardship? I’ve seen overlords just give up in times like this… I can’t tell you how many run down ramshackle abandoned homes I find on my day to day travels, why, you’d think it was the Abyss!!!

 
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We share your concerns in the editorial offices of the Imperial Propagandist, GFFG. We are deeply concerned that some of these millionares are beginning to think they can do whatever they want, such as banning other Overlords from even selling on the marketplace in order to artifically inflate the price for goods to gouge the ignorant locals. The Academy Antiwiki has determined that this only seems to be a problem outside of Imperial Magnum and has determined that this is just what happens when barbarians get a small taste of power. Fortuntely, in Magnum lands the Regents believe in the power of the free market to lift all Overlords out of the lava together. Our dark prayers go out to the poor homeless Overlords of Lush Valley just as they went our for the slaughtered of Dragonspire.

 
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Op-Ed:
What happened to the economy? – underlying causes and proposed solutions

Poverty is a problem. Whether it is creatures missing their payments and starving, or dungeon keepers forced into begging for a handout from alliance mates, poverty touches demons from all walks of life. Few reasonable overlords can dispute the economic realities of our time, no matter how insulated they are from rank and file goblins. The foul blight of poverty spreads its cancer across the pristine landscape of Solace, our dignity in shreds, shattering our lives and our families, leaving no dungeon unplumbed.

What happened? Pomegranate (lvl 40 warlock) said, ‘Young minions just dont share the work ethic of us older generations.’ Cozen (lvl 60 thief) ‘Bloody taxes, over 80% of my income gets taken away by the freaking government and redistributed to those idiotic orcs.’ Steroids (lvl 65 orc), ‘Oink Gruajkzopiw Izt’ (direct translation from Orcish: fucking welfare recipients!)

Things have changed. We used to live in an equal opportunity society based on hard work and individual merit. Everyone had similar chances for advancement, displaying their merit upon random elves. Initiative was rewarded and ingenuity encouraged. From the tiniest imp to the mightiest balrog – we lived in a meritocracy.

The moral fibre of our generation is being tested. We are now at a crossroads, with two drastically directions our society can take, Will we continue to move towards elven style socialism and a welfare society, or will we embrace the qualities that make us proud demons – self-dependence, hard work, and individual merit?

We need to re-incentivize success. The improper protection of poor overlords only erodes their self-respect and work ethic. Stop hobbling job creators by artificially preventing them from extracting value from poorer overlords. Only when success is properly rewarded, will the most productive members of our society, be able to create jobs and drive consumption, causing a wealth effect to trickle down through the entirety of demonic society.

It is often a tempting but misguided viewpoint that the solution to poverty is to protect poorer overlords and minions from the ravages of corporations, cartels and monopolies. Especially since we witness their suffering first hand. But the problem with that is two-fold. First, satanic intervention as a solution to poverty is seldom effective, as policies are often dictated by Beelzebub through rent-seeking behavior. Second, this neglects the underlying erosion of virtues such as self-reliance, and ignores individual freedoms and property rights, leading to questions about fairness.

Only when individual overlords are empowered enough to succeed and fail on their own merits, will Solacian society be able to recover its dynamism and resourcefulness, the very qualities that once made Solace great. Allow the most successful to put poor overlords to work, no matter how they wish – let them impose region wide taxes on inactives and welfare recipients if they wish, let them extort, bully, kill the homeless if they wish. While counter-intuitive, this is the only way towards Progress and a better demonic society!

 
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Obviously there needs to be change, and that is the relinquish the Solace from your attempted ‘control’ and ‘harmony’ to go be pissants somewhere else.

 
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A tremendous op-ed, Kaboomba. In WindWard, the author And Raid wrote the famous book “Ogre Shrugged” which laid out the philosophical underpinnings of the Raiditarian doctrine. It is a popular movement among younger Overlords and orcs. Not many young Overlords left in WindWard, but boy do those orcs love their “Ogre Shrugged”. The scholars of Academy Antiwiki often describe this with the phrase, “If you weren’t a Demoncrat in your youth, you have no soul. If you aren’t an Imperial in your adulthood, you’re an inactive.” In the halls of Magnum, though, we just say, “You get more bacon from pigs than piglets.” Keep those op eds coming!

 
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Ima take out a full page spread as commission:

Nothing but the best For the best. Supple for all your combat and daily needs.

Leather source customizable. After all, only the best raw materials can produce the best products. And you always know what you want best. Select from different shapes, skin, hair, eyes, ears, and outfits (profession of leather source)

Quality. You know it when you see it.

A Kab -since 2012 brand. All rights reserved.

 
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Originally posted by Destroyer80:

Obviously there needs to be change, and that is the relinquish the Solace from your attempted ‘control’ and ‘harmony’ to go be pissants somewhere else.

You want to farm everyone, no problem. Dont complain when someone farms you though?

 
This post has been removed by an administrator or moderator
 
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Wait. The guy named Destroyer is playing the PvP game as a pacificst and thinks that’s normal? Or are you saying it is better to be like Sildergil and just kill every player?

 
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UPDATE: RAIDERS OF THE LOST ZERG!
During the Great WindWard War, the war criminal NoGoodDeed fled to the frontier lands of Bull March before finally being exterminated by Sharkhunter. Even in death, NoGoodDeed retains his #10 position on the leaderboards. However, scholars of Academy Antiwiki report that NoGoodDeed’s holdings in Bull March were never raided and recovered. Somewhere in that region, amazing treasures lie abandoned in dungeons guarded only by traps … waiting for a brave young Overlord to help herself to them.