1 ) Marines.
Why are marines so weak? Well, they only do a few seconds of sit ups or push ups, thats why.
How do you become a marine? In 6 seconds? Easy. Pull a Starling in, let him wear red soldier polka dot pants, give him a gun on its right hand, and give it a punch on its left eye.
2 ) Looters.
I really hate wearing this mask. Why can other units loot without a mask and why is it required for me to wear a mask. How strange.
If you think why I am super weak at only ~100 HP, explain how I manage to be a Looter in 6 seconds.
3 ) Bazooka.
Well, I cant believe my commander treated me like that. Forcing me to carry a super heavy bazooka and letting me wear an oversized helmet. He says its for my safety. Well, I can always hide behind another unit.
4 ) Kamikaze.
ARRRRGH I GOT A FRIGGIN BOMB ON MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!
5 ) Starlinator.
I agree with bazooka and looter. Even though I am the Elite Unit, that commando still wanted me to wear red polka dot pants. Therefore, from that day onwards, I was angry all the time.