Units Joke Thread

1 ) Marines.

Why are marines so weak? Well, they only do a few seconds of sit ups or push ups, thats why.

How do you become a marine? In 6 seconds? Easy. Pull a Starling in, let him wear red soldier polka dot pants, give him a gun on its right hand, and give it a punch on its left eye.

2 ) Looters.

I really hate wearing this mask. Why can other units loot without a mask and why is it required for me to wear a mask. How strange.

If you think why I am super weak at only ~100 HP, explain how I manage to be a Looter in 6 seconds.

3 ) Bazooka.

Well, I cant believe my commander treated me like that. Forcing me to carry a super heavy bazooka and letting me wear an oversized helmet. He says its for my safety. Well, I can always hide behind another unit.

4 ) Kamikaze.

ARRRRGH I GOT A FRIGGIN BOMB ON MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!

5 ) Starlinator.

I agree with bazooka and looter. Even though I am the Elite Unit, that commando still wanted me to wear red polka dot pants. Therefore, from that day onwards, I was angry all the time.

These are some pretty decent jokes… How about this one: Flamethrower: I’m expected to permenantly attach flamethrowers to my arms? IN 36 SECONDS? WHILE DOING SIT-UPS?!?!?!?!

Oh and another: Bazooka: So i have a helmet, yet i still have less health then kamakazie, who is comepletley naked aside from EXPLOSIVES AS A BELT?

Yes. It takes you 40 minutes of ‘intensive’ training to get a zeppelin. What? It only costs coins? That explains why it is so weak against Missile Launchers. Their armor is coin-plated!

Originally posted by player1182:

Yes. It takes you 40 minutes of ‘intensive’ training to get a zeppelin. What? It only costs coins? That explains why it is so weak against Missile Launchers. Their armor is coin-plated!

That means I can make alot of zeppelins in real life with coins.

Another joke Starlinator: “im going to wear awesome guns”wait ur expecting him to do 1000 pushups???

Originally posted by Ebax:

Originally posted by player1182:

Yes. It takes you 40 minutes of ‘intensive’ training to get a zeppelin. What? It only costs coins? That explains why it is so weak against Missile Launchers. Their armor is coin-plated!

That means I can make alot of zeppelins in real life with coins.

Yes. Observatories are coin alloy made, Star Bases are coin alloy made. Yes, you can make anything with coins, even real life zeppelins with coins.

Originally posted by AndreiTan:

This may not be a unit joke.

Q: What is a Starling’s child called?
A: A Starling! LAME

looter:I like looting But when i get close to a turret i loose my coin obsession

Hoover: I can hoover a building until its destroyed.

Originally posted by player1182:

Hoover: I can hoover a building until its destroyed.

Very f’fing lame.