Basically, in the video game Dead Space this guy found a stone that spoke to him, telling him that the stone would bring everlasting happiness and bring those who worshiped it to a place better than Earth, and escape things like fear,war,heartbreak, etcetera. The stone also caused an alien outbreak.
So, our “stone” will be AlextheGreat13’s mustache.
The thing is though, with Unitology, when you are ready to leave the earth, you must kill yourself, and let the aliens born from the “stone”, which is the mustache, devour you.
So who wants too be a Facial Hair Unitologist and worship AlextheGreat13’s mustache?
LIST OF SUPPORTERS OF MUSTACHE UNITOLOGY