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The Kongo - Writers Needed

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The Kongo is the holy book of Kongregate. It is equivalent to the Bible of Christianity and the Koran of Islam. It records over 1001 days and nights of history, from the creation of Kongregate to The End of The Net, a cataclysmic event that will happen in the future, destroying all users, including pandas, forever.

I am now recruiting writers to help write scrolls to put in the Kongo, and it shall be a duty to spread the faithful religion of Kongregate and what the good deeds the gods have done to everyone we know.

 
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No. It sucks. The holy book of Kongregate is the Dictionary.

 
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I am the Holy Book of Kongregate. Open me up and see what lies inside!

 
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Now, my friend, I can understand that your soul is corrupted by the evil goddess Newgrounds. Please, do not look back, because we will turn the nation into sand soon, if you look back, you will turn into a salt pillar.

 
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What blasphemy hast thou speweth out of thine mouth? Stop before almighty Jim shall reigneth down fire upon your heathen soul!

 
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Panda man, you are not funny. Nor are you a witty troll. Just leave the site, and never come back.

 
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HahahahahahahaNo

 
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This is not a matter of fun. The first of the 1337 commandments set by Greg, says to only have one God and one Goddess.

 
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There are two gods in the Book of Kongregate.

The first is Jim, the God of Death (or Destruction).

The second is Emily, the God of Life.

Under them, there are many angels who control many aspects of our daily life.

 
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Edited to relieve confusion.

 
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Also please, if you do not want to contribute, please do not speak.

One who posts to say that someone is spamming, spams.” – Al Greg

 
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There will be no end of the internet. Go take you unwanted self importance somewhere else.

 
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The internet outlives us all. The internet is a magical creature, shy at first, but when you show it that you mean no harm, it befriends us all.

 
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Kongregis

Chapter 1

1: Some time after the beginning there was jimgreer, the almighty God of Destruction.
2: The destructive jimgreer thought of his destructive ways, and he thought it was time to make something. So he called his sister Emily_Greer, goddess of life.
3: Emily, with a snap of her fingers, created Kongregate, the ultimate gaming site, and there was joy around the world.
4: But there was not enough on Kongregate. So, feeling destructive, jimgreer placed idiots, spammers and trolls all-over Kongregate, including Kingzak Panda_Man and RMcD.
5: Emily_Greer decided to counter this with clever and good people, including Saint_Ajora, and many others. This annoyed jimgreer, but he decided it was good.
6: But the two felt something was missing from the divine website. Suddenly, an idea came to them, and Emily_Greer found some tools.
7: Within a few minutes they had made Greg, the human-looking robot who would look after Kongregate for them.

Okay, that’s verse one to seven. Good enough for you?

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

1. You shall worship no gaming site but us.
2. You must np create your own gaming sites, and you must not worship them.
3. You must not curse Kongregate.
4. Observe the Kongo and keep it holy.
5. Respect the mods and admins, they are angels and gods.
6. You must not ban, or call a mod to ban unjustly.
7. You must not spam.
8. You must not troll.
9. You must not question the word of the admins, no matter what they do.
10. You must not be envious of a fellow Kongregator’s points, fans or posts.

 
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Destruction cannot create. Destruction can only destroy. Emily and Jim obviously came into existence at the exact same time, fool.

 
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4: But there was not enough on Kongregate. So, feeling destructive, jimgreer placed idiots, spammers and trolls all-over Kongregate, including Kingzak and Panda_Man.

Fix’d

 
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Emily and Jim obviously came into existence at the exact same time, fool.

I know that. Why am I a fool? Of course they came into existence at the same time, jim didn’t make Emily, if that’s what you are implying.

Destruction cannot create. Destruction can only destroy.

I never said it could. If you look closely here, I only say “placed”! So :P to you.

jimgreer placed idiots, spammers and trolls all-over Kongregate, including Kingzak Panda_Man and RMcD.

EDIT: Post seven hundred. Nice…

 
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I know that. Why am I a fool? Of course they came into existence at the same time, jim didn’t make Emily, if that’s what you are implying.

I was joking with the “fool”

The way you phrased it made me thought that you posted that Jim created Emily.

 
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I will join the authors of The Kongo

 
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Mysterymason, you have just commited yourself to wrtiting failure. Very bad choice, you have lost at the internet.

 
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This is a recruiting thread. Not the holy book yet. It will be on another thread.

 
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Post only if you want to join.

Panda_Man
Mysterymason
mariosuperlative

 
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Zomg guis im so cool im making a fake religion book on the internets about a website that i have an account on with an inflated ego. WRITE FOR ME BECAUSE I AM LAZY111

 
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hay cmon guis, lets be nice. i think pandaman is a pretty cool guy. eh writes fictitious bibles on the internet and doesnt afraid of anything.