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The Kongo (locked)

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DO NOT POST HERE IF YOU ARE GOING TO SPAM

This is the holy book of Kongregate. It records over 1001 days and nights of history. Please spread the faithful religion of Kongregate and the good deeds the God and Goddess have done to everyone you know. You can subscribe to be an author here.

Do not spam here. This thread is only for writing, not for discussion. Please.

 
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Kinesis
1:1 In the beginning Jim Greer created the Internet and Kongregate.
1:2 And Kongregate was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Jim Greer moved upon the face of the Internet.
1:3 And Jim Greer said, Let there be admins: and there was admins.
1:4 And Jim Greer saw the admins, that it was good: and God divided the admins from the spammers.
1:5 And Jim Greer called the admins Good, and the spammers he called Bad. And the Good and the Bad were the first hour.
1:6 And Jim Greer said, Let there be moderators in the midst of the Internet, and let it divide the trolls from the spammers. And the moderators were the second hour.
1:7 And God made the moderators silence some the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
1:8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the Good and the Bad were the second day.
1:9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
1:10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
1:12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
1:13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
1:14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
1:15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
1:16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
1:17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
1:18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
1:19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
1:20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
1:21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
1:22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
1:23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
1:24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
1:30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
1:31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

I’m not finished but I have to go now. 2/3 are unedited yet.

 
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i know this is spam and i will delete it after u have read it The Kongo needs to be about Kongregate not the earth. Post when u hav read it so i can delete it

 
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exactly

 
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CONGRATULATIONS!

You win this…

http://www.ratemyeverything.net/image/6134/0/Epic_Fail.ashx

 
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Your history is all wrong panda. Before the silences there were the harsher Bans. God in his infinite mercy and wisdom scaled down the harshness and brought out the silence stick.

Ok.. So this thread also gets the lock???
I suggest that you do some proper thinking before carrying on with this.

 
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Panda_Man, I don’t want to bring this down, but this isn’t funny, and this is not a spam post, this is true. Why do you think that making it all about God creating the Earth from 1:8 onwards does anything good? It’s a lot better to actually write about Kong, a lot funnier too. Unless…I might be getting this wrong, but are you eventually going to edit those verses into Kongo ones? Because if so I have nothing against you.

 
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good one mario, i feel exactly the same way

 
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Ladies and gentlemen. I am sad to inform you that our beloved Panda_Man has passed away in 2:31 am on 3rd February, 2009. He was aged 344 days. This is a record of his dying words.

“I was going to edit it but I got perma banned so goodbye everyone. Permabanning me might be a win-win situation because now I can finally get away from this imprisonment holding back my studies. Don’t ban this account though. And now I can change my homepage.

Btw, the Kongregate home page loads very slowly on my computer, even if I have a very fast computer.

I am really impressed by the work that has been done here. I will miss you all, especially arcanecoder, billyfred, MrRubix, valkyrie, AlisonClaire, and all of my friends here, and yes, Greg. You finally got rid of the troll, and now YOU ARE ALL DEAD! Yes, haha, I will go to the UN and the Save the Pandas Organization. Anyways, enough crap, have a good 2009 without the endangered species.

Ah yes, please un-upside-down my avatar please. As a last favor. Please."

NAO! LETS PARTY!!!111oneoneone

 
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aaaaa! It has been a long time! I haven’t seen you post for an age? Remember when you were the only one who posted on my story?

Aw…Panda was a vital part of Kongregate. Surely his IP hasn’t been banned and he’ll be able to make another account? I haven’t seen Panda doing any serious trollin’, though I’ve nver seen him in a chatroom.

 
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Are you truly telling the truth? Or are you just messing with me? I’m on to you aaaaa, and as soon as you troll the admins will destroy you! Stay low…stay very low…

 
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Lockage? Valkyrie be having the gift of seeing into the future?

 
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I see what you mean valkyrie.

 
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Oh snap. There is hope in the world.

Locking, because perma’d accounts aren’t entitled to have threads.